Dick-slapped? (note to women: my husband is not abusive in the least bit so just get that idea out of your head, he thought this would be a funny thing to say) (note to men: all raise mugs of beer and salute the manliness of men)
Showing posts with label Dicks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dicks. Show all posts
Saturday, 10 November 2012
Dick Slapped
Needless to say, my husband and I are really terrible with conflict; we’re working on it, but I would find it safe to say that we are excellent at sex and terrible with conflict. Anyway, a few months ago my husband hurt my feelings, we were snuggling together after sex and I noticed he was in a happy, talkative mood so I started jabbering away. I must have been somewhat annoying because his response to me was that I needed to be dick-slapped for saying what I did. (Silence)
Dick-slapped? (note to women: my husband is not abusive in the least bit so just get that idea out of your head, he thought this would be a funny thing to say) (note to men: all raise mugs of beer and salute the manliness of men)
Dick-slapped? (note to women: my husband is not abusive in the least bit so just get that idea out of your head, he thought this would be a funny thing to say) (note to men: all raise mugs of beer and salute the manliness of men)
Monday, 8 October 2012
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL ABOUT A BIG D?
Men with huge penises love their own huge penises more than any woman ever could.
I'm not gonna front about penis size. It matters to me. Like, if I were falling in true love with you over entrees and post-dessert I found out you had a tiny wanger, I would definitely be like, "Awwww, man." You could maybe overcome it; you'd just have to work really hard to compensate, like women in business. Fresh-baked cinnamon rolls on the daily could go a long way toward making me forget about any perceived penis issue.
Saturday, 6 October 2012
Call It the New Junk Mail
You'd think that a guy who tosses footballs for a living would know how to make a pass. But when Brett Favre allegedly texted a shot of his Johnson to an unsuspecting Jets employee, he exposed himself as yet another grown man who's as clueless in the world of technology as in the world of seduction. Sloane Crosley explains what a woman actually wants from a man when it comes to her sext life
Penis. Penis! PENIS!
That's how the game is played, right? Whoever can shout it the loudest without caving to embarrassment wins. Oh, but who needs a larynx when you have a cell phone? More to the point, when you have Brett Favre's cell phone. To Favre's credit, it's not as if the man invented naughty-picture messaging two years ago when he reportedly sent then 24-year-old Playboy model and Jets game-day hostess Jenn Sterger shots of his junk. He may have been the longest in the tooth to do this, but let us not forget the Cleveland Indians' aptly named Grady Sizemore or the Portland Trail Blazers' Greg Oden and his formidable anatomy, which he clearly rented from Equine 'n' Things. Fame aside, the question is—okay, so there are a lot of questions—but the first one is: How can men be so clueless? What, exactly, do they think is going to happen?
Penis. Penis! PENIS!That's how the game is played, right? Whoever can shout it the loudest without caving to embarrassment wins. Oh, but who needs a larynx when you have a cell phone? More to the point, when you have Brett Favre's cell phone. To Favre's credit, it's not as if the man invented naughty-picture messaging two years ago when he reportedly sent then 24-year-old Playboy model and Jets game-day hostess Jenn Sterger shots of his junk. He may have been the longest in the tooth to do this, but let us not forget the Cleveland Indians' aptly named Grady Sizemore or the Portland Trail Blazers' Greg Oden and his formidable anatomy, which he clearly rented from Equine 'n' Things. Fame aside, the question is—okay, so there are a lot of questions—but the first one is: How can men be so clueless? What, exactly, do they think is going to happen?
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