Romancing Your Man

It comes down to one simple principle—love your neighbor as you would want to be loved.


by Barbara Rainey

I've noticed that most romantic novels and movies contain a common theme. It goes like this: A handsome, intelligent, adventurous, single man on a mission unexpectedly meets a beautiful, equally intelligent single woman under improbable circumstances—often in an exotic foreign location or in a lavish historical setting. Though their personalities may clash at first, and though they may even be on opposing “teams,” eventually they fall madly in love. And while this love is often impulsive and always new—never mature—in most cases the story ends with the unspoken assumption that they will live happily ever after.


How many romance novels or all-star chick flicks feature a faithful husband and wife with two, four, six, or eight children, living a normal life (whatever that is!) going to work and school and church, and enjoying passionate romance on a regular basis? Not many that I know of.


How many couples really live like people in the movies and novels? Who can maintain that level of intensity? Or adventure, intrigue, and surprise? Does that sound like your marriage relationship? I’m guessing it doesn’t.

Social Networking

Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners. 1. Cor. 15:33.
The best social network you can have is a local Bible-believing, Bible-practicing church. It is a
social network that connects saved people in one body - the body of Christ - and the Holy
Spirit puts it together. What more do you want?
In these modern days, however, some folks try to complicate things and suppose that they
need to be constantly involved in social networking websites online. That is getting out of
hand and when you study the effects, you come to the conclusion that online social
networking is in fact asocial. It harms human relationships in the highest degrees and
destroys families.
What comes under the guise of promoting "friendship" is in reality a tool of the devil to seduce
young people to immorality and turn them into zombies who constantly have to check
messages in their social network while neglecting family and friends in the real world. Isn't it
sickening that some folks try to build a social network in virtual reality but neglect their
children, their husband or other family members and friends? If you want to love your
neighbor, then start with the people close to you in your family and neighborhood instead of
trying to get along with people in a virtual reality.
Online social network often contain immoral graphics, movies and images that promote
adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness and worldliness. In fact one major US social
networking site recently discarded 90000 of its members because they were registered sex
offenders. What a cesspool of sin? What really needs to happen is that these websites be shut
down altogether. But Christian who believe the Bible ought to have enough sense to abstain
from such sites and to make sure that they appreciate those preachers who have warned them
of that danger lurking online. But many people who call themselves "Christans" today play
with the fire (Prov. 6:27) and get involved in these online social networks and through
(willful) ignorance get involved with bad company. You, my friend, should know better than
that and follow the advice of the Psalmist: "Blessed is the man that walketh not in the
counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat
of the scornful." Psalm 1:1. Online social networks are full of malicious, vile language and a
lot of slander, libel and backbiting. That's why these networks are not even a proper
environment to witness for Jesus Christ. If you are saved, and you have been involved in
online social networks, it would be best for your testimony if you deleted everything you ever
wrote and cancel all accounts.
In Christian homes it is necessary that the father, the head of the home, is in control of what
media comes in or goes out. He needs to protect his family. There should no participation in
online social networking be allowed in a home that professes to be Christian. Teenagers have
better things to do. In fact, I don't even see a need for cell phones in their hands. Let them
learn to pray and communicate with the Lord, first of all. I rejoice that when I was in my
teenage years there were no computer games and no cell phones. That was in the 1990s. I
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praise Jesus for the absence of all such digital junk. And I also praise Jesus that there was a
Bible, Christian radio and godly books in my teenage years. There was a forest for hiking and
cross-country running. Most of all, I praise Jesus that there was no peer clique in those years,
but there were a few good churches that I appreciate.
Online social networks undermine real human relationships and fellowship. I have observed
how a husband & wife lost trust in each other because one spouse was addicted to social
networking that she kept telling private details of their relationship to peers on that online
social network. Finally, the spouse addicted to social networking completely ignored her
companion, and was more influenced by the crowd online at the social networking site.
People today obviously need to relearn the proper respect for privacy. What
happens in private needs not to be told in online social networks. People have a warped
judgment as to what is public and what is private. Pictures containing nudity are found in
advertising in public. But decency demands that belongs into privacy. Modern people have it
all mixed up. They want to shut up the preaching of the gospel and claim that religion is a
private matter. No. Faith in Jesus concerns the public. Modern people want to put displays of
intimacy everywhere in public, esp. in the media. But decency demands that intimacy belongs
into privacy. Christians who believe the Bible really have to separate themselves from this
modern secular worldview.
I also notice that stay-at-home moms are often victims of online social networking. While they
are alone at home the addiction to social networking begins. The saying is true that the devil
has work for idle hands. While the Proverbs 31 woman remains virtuous and busy doing good,
the modern woman has been discouraged by the devil about staying at home, so she thinks
she is "imbalanced" and "lonely" and turns to the computer to find a social network. This
often is the beginning of the end of a marriage or a family. It often escalates to the point where
the online community means more to that woman than her family. Ungodly advertisements
nowadays often show scarcely-clad women with a laptop. The best thing that women can do is
grab the laptop and smash it against the wall or break it in half. Marketing knows how to
make money with the social networking addiction. What the forbidden fruit was to Eve, that is
exactly what the social networks are today for many women. Moreover, the online
communities in those social networks have caused women to become "tattlers also and
busybodies, speaking things which they ought not." 1. Timothy 5:13. Most of the
things said or written in social networking sites ought not to be said or written. If
you don't understand that, you are simply too naive.
The Bible teaches a great principle. It is wrong for a Christian to seek counsel from
questionable sources on the Internet while bypassing the local church. I understand that lots
of churches nowadays have absolved from teaching the Bible. It is considered too
"controversial" or "divisive", but often you have to have division before you have unity. A little
subscribed Sunday School quarterly won't do it. A local church needs a leadership that is
continually given to prayer and the ministry of the word. Acts 6:4. Churches have often turned
into mere social clubs that do not really people guidance and leadership as to how they should
live their lives in obedience to God. Local churches need to provide their people with both the
milk and the meat of the word. The main point is: If you are saved, then get your counsel and
advice from the word of God and not from an online social network. Seek counsel from
mature Christians in your local congregation. You dishonor Christ, when you bypass the local
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church and seek for answers in doubtful online communities. Stay away from these places!
Christian wives need to understand that is contrary to God's plan, if they seek for things in
social networks, while not communicating with their husband. The Bible says that a woman is
to be under obedience. And here is a key truth:
“And if they will learn any thing , let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a
shame for women to speak in the church.“ 1. Corinthians 14:35.
A Christian woman will ask her husband, if she needs information. She will not ask strangers
in online social networks or any other clique of tattlers and gossipers. It is the duty of the
Christian husband to teach his wife. The Bible says in 1. Tim. 2:11: Let the woman learn in
silence with all subjection. The husband needs to be able to gently communicate
concepts, ideas and doctrines. The wife needs to have the submission to follow her husband in
those things. That is the Bible plan. If that plan is followed, there is no need to go online to ask
anybody else.
I say it again: The best social network is the local church.. The only social networks
that God established is the family and the church. We don't need any online social networks
where rotten people and characterless cliques corrupt good manners through evil
communications (1. Cor. 15:33) and undermine true friendship, fellowship and families.
Do you appreciate a clean car or a clean house? Then be consistent and delete the unclean
from your computer. In fact, remove all unclean media as the Christians at the church in
Ephesus did (Acts 19:19). Clean up!
If you truly love your neighbor, love your family and even love your enemies as Christ taught
you, will you please abstain from online social networking? Have respect for privacy. Don't
publish in social networks what belongs into your privacy or the privacy of others. Character
counts.
Instead of getting addicted to online social networks, texting or instant messaging, why don't
you start check your B-mail every morning? What is B-mail? Your Bible! Send instant
messages to God throughout the day! How do you do that? Pray, pray, pray! God is interested
in hearing from you! He will hear from Heaven. If you like texting, please get some paper texts
- we call them gospel tracts - and hand them to others.
You don't need to seek the bad company of online social networking. First of all, you need a
saving, living relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ. Don't seek for fellowship
in virtual reality. Seek God and trust Jesus Christ for the salvation of your soul. He shed His
blood for you on the cross. He loved you first, so that you can love Him now. Won't you come
now and repent of your sin and receive Jesus Christ as your Savior?
solidrockfaith.com

Your Deeds Do Make A Difference!

ENCOURAGEMENT FOR YOUNG PEOPLE
“Let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth” (1 Jn. 3:18 NIV). Wow! What a command! How often do we forget to back up our feelings with good, old-fashioned action? How often do we fail to show Christ’s love to others through our behavior? I am talking specifically about caring for one another’s needs.
This reminds me of the golden rule: “Do unto others as you would have done unto you.” I always thought this meant, “Don’t do things to others that you yourself would not like done to you.” But it doesn’t say, “Don’t do.” It does say, “Do.” And that means we should actually do for others what we would like people to do for us.
More and more, I find that it isn’t all that hard to serve another. Service can be many things: from small actions like a kind word or an encouraging hug, to larger ones such as listening to another’s problems or helping with a task. Whether small or large, our actions will make a difference in the lives of those around us.
Have you ever watched the face of a person when you do something for them that is completely unexpected? It’s great! Do you know what else is great? It’s contagious! One good deed encourages others to do good deeds too. Sometimes a simple hug can totally change a person’s day! I know because it has happened to me, and I’m sure you can remember when it has happened to you.
The Bible says that we are to “serve one another in love.” Then it says that this command must be our law: “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Gal. 5:13-14). It is no mistake that “the fruit of the Spirit” within us is “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control” (Gal. 5:22-23). These are the things that are to be displayed through our actions, and what a difference they make!
The Bible also says that we are to “serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men.“ (Eph. 6:7). Whatever we do for another, we are doing for our Lord. And believe me, He notices - no matter how small a thing we do. Why? Because “we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works” (Eph. 2:10).
Think of it: we are actually created to do good works! Praise the Lord! We are not alone in our walk with Christ. We are brothers and sisters in Christ, and it’s a remarkable privilege to have such a loving family! God has given each of us special talents, gifts, and interests, so we can serve Him. What better way than to minister to the needs of others?
This reminds me of Tabitha (or Dorcas) in Acts 9:36-42. Though she was a woman of no special status, she was well known and loved for serving the poor and the widows by making them clothes. She used her God-given talent for His glory. What a difference we could make if we did the same!
Let me give you a simple example from my own life: an elderly Christian man in our church, my “adopted grandpa” I called him, took an interest in me since I was a child. He showed me how to work with wood, how he built things, told me stories and gave me a hug every Sunday at church for nearly 28 years. A hug is a really simple thing, but his had a great impact on my life. Who knows how different I might be were it not for his ongoing expression of love to me?
Our deeds do touch lives. They will be the things that people remember about us, and they might even lead others to Christ. We may never have the opportunity to be missionaries, but we can all be servants. Be encouraged today that the little things you do for the Lord and for others are worth your effort; they do make a difference. Let’s always remember the servant-like character of Christ, and mirror it in our lives.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Heather Darling worked in the mail room at Grace & Truth while studying to become a veterinary technician. When not caring for animals, she serves the Lord by teaching pre-school children in Sunday School, assisting in a teen ministry and conducting an e-mail ministry of encouragement with adults.
Grace & Truth Magazine February 2000