A Shaft of Light from Heaven

by Kristy McElhinny

My boyfriend and I had broken up. My landlord had sold my house. I was house-sitting for a work-friend. It was summer and I’m a teacher so there was no work to occupy my mind. At that time, I didn’t have a faith community to lift me up. I was alone, in an unfamiliar place, with no one to talk to and nothing to do; torture for a person with an anxiety disorder. My panic got out of control for another one of those week-long stints.

I called out to God and heard no answer back.

One Sunday, I decided to go to the tiny church that was within walking distance on the backcountry road I called home for that month. I describe myself as a carcass that day. I felt utterly lonely, exhausted, empty and pathetic. I knew I was at my lowest point. How could I feel like this when I am a child of God. I’m a failure. Maybe I’ve done something wrong to deserve it. Where am I going to live? Will I be alone for the rest of my life?

3 Biblical Tips When You’re At a Crossroads

By Jolene Engle

My eyes welled up with tears when I read the first email.  The words on the screen said, “Appointment to meet with a publisher.”

I felt gripped by fear thinking, “who was I to be writing a book?”  And mixed with my insecurities was the reality that my book wasn’t even finished yet.  I felt like a failure before I even started this whole process.

‘Delete’ went the email.

But I was haunted by my reality.  I needed to make a decision because my deadline was moving closer and closer.

A week passed by and another email came by the same person.  I opened it and there was that pit in my stomach, again.  Why?  Because I don’t feel like a writer.  It’s not something I have pursued or dreamed of doing.  I don’t have a book proposal.  No polished pitch.  Nothing.