What We See in Each Other

1 Samuel 16:1–13
“The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

1 Samuel 16:7
Samuel was sent to the house of Jesse to find a new king. When he got there, Samuel saw Eliab, one of Jesse’s sons. “Surely, he is the one God has chosen to be the next king,” Samuel thought. Evidently, like the previous king, Saul, Eliab was tall and striking. But Eliab was not the one God had in mind.

God warned Samuel not to assess people by their physical appearance. God reminded the old prophet that he doesn’t look at the outside; he looks at the inside. So each of Jesse’s sons passed before Samuel, but God did not indicate that any of them was the man God had sent him to find. Finally, David, the youngest son, came in from the fields. Then the Lord spoke to Samuel, telling him this was the right one.

I Don’t Think My Wife is “The One”

Written by Bill Strom

I am married to a wonderful woman.  When I first met Shelaine I was attracted to her wit, looks, wisdom, and smile.  Within six months we were engaged. The summer before we married I introduced her to a mentor couple from a church I used to attend.  As we sat at their kitchen table the wife exclaimed, “So you found her! You found the one God planned for you.  You are blessed.”

I recall grunting in agreement and relishing the moment.  I had found the one.

But now I’m not so sure.

For those who may know me in person, please don’t start any rumors.  Shelaine and I have a sound marriage, a strong bond, and a deep love.  But I am no longer convinced that our marriage is strong because Shelaine is perfect for me, or that I am ideal for her.  We are certainly compatible, and share similar values and ways of thinking.  But we differ on all sorts of interests and skills.  So why does our marriage work?  I’m now more convinced that the success of our marriage is not because we “found the one,” but because we have “chosen this one” to love deeply and faithfully.   There’s a big difference.

The Myth of Finding “The One”