How can we as a couple handle the sexual cravings before we get married?

By Gary Chapman
Q: “We are a Christian engaged couple growing in our walk with God. However, we are not virgins and this is the first time both us are actively pursuing abstinence under Gods leadership. We have confessed all of our past histories to each other and are pursuing individual accountability partners. Since we’re engaged is it wrong to look forward to the physical stuff? We are both very much attracted to each other and enjoy looking at each other. Our combined love language is physical touch. We know this will be brilliant when we’re married. But right now, it’s pure torture. We both are aware that we’re living the consequences of our previous sin because we know what sex is like. The pure torture bit is this: Lusting over a man/woman equals bad. Lusting over spouse equals excellent. We very much feel stuck in the no man’s land here. Our wedding is 7 months away and the last thing we want to do is elope because we cracked. We want our testimony to mean something for other people struggling with the no sex thing and most of all we want to honor God. Is there anything else we can do to help us remain pure and keep our testimony?

Stop Having Sex? I Did It -- For A Year

Audrey Bellis

Owner, The Bella Bambino

I gave up sex and dating. I gave it up just like I would give up chocolate for Lent. It was a very deliberate and conscious choice.

At the time, I had just turned 24, and was fresh off the heels of a broken engagement and sending out the "I'm sorry, I'm no longer getting married so here is your gift back" announcements. I was grieving, and I was lost.

I didn't realize I was on a downward spiral, I thought I was just rebounding. Everyone wanted to take me out for a drink, introduce me to their single friends, set me up and party my woes away. While these might have been well-meaning acts of support, they were not productive ways of coping for me. My behaviors led me to a dysfunctional rebound relationship, empty sex, drunken sex, quite a bit of guilty self-loathing and a vicious up and down cycle of convincing myself I was fine and the next day, not being able to get out of bed.

Why So Many Women Yearn to Be Wives

Despite the fact that it's the twenty-first century and women can earn their own money, go to a sperm bank to have a child and lead a satisfying social life without a man, the role of wife remains compelling.

Young women are more self-assured than ever, not necessarily in search of a boyfriend and comfortable focusing on their own goals. They know that sex can be a sport and men can be adjunct, perhaps fungible. Yet what I've found is that at a certain point for these women, usually by their mid to late-twenties, being engaged and getting married becomes important.

I Don’t Think My Wife is “The One”

Written by Bill Strom

I am married to a wonderful woman.  When I first met Shelaine I was attracted to her wit, looks, wisdom, and smile.  Within six months we were engaged. The summer before we married I introduced her to a mentor couple from a church I used to attend.  As we sat at their kitchen table the wife exclaimed, “So you found her! You found the one God planned for you.  You are blessed.”

I recall grunting in agreement and relishing the moment.  I had found the one.

But now I’m not so sure.

For those who may know me in person, please don’t start any rumors.  Shelaine and I have a sound marriage, a strong bond, and a deep love.  But I am no longer convinced that our marriage is strong because Shelaine is perfect for me, or that I am ideal for her.  We are certainly compatible, and share similar values and ways of thinking.  But we differ on all sorts of interests and skills.  So why does our marriage work?  I’m now more convinced that the success of our marriage is not because we “found the one,” but because we have “chosen this one” to love deeply and faithfully.   There’s a big difference.

The Myth of Finding “The One”

Before You Touch Her Body

For romance to deepen, here is a truth that should be emblazoned on the heart of every husband.

Growing up, I hated school and studying. Well, I hated most studying. But I loved two local sports teams: the University of Maryland Terps—specifically, the basketball team—and my beloved Washington Redskins. Somehow I acquired an impressive body of knowledge about these teams, even as I continued to get lousy grades in school.

While class work was mostly drudgery, learning about the Terps and Skins was effortless joy. I loved to watch them, think about them, read about them, talk about them, and listen to games on the radio. To absorb everything I possibly could about these guys—to study them—was rich food for my schoolboy's soul.

Why was that kind of learning so easy for me when formal education was so hard? What made the difference?

Passion.

No secret there. What we love, we want to learn about. And what we love to study, we come to love even more. That's just the way God has wired us. I loved the Terps and Skins; so learning about them and growing in my zeal for them was a totally natural process.

I still enjoy following those teams, but my strongest passions now lie elsewhere.

7 Ways To Pick The Perfect Engagement Ring Without Breaking The Bank

By Mandi Woodruff 

For most guys, the thought of buying a pair of pants is daunting enough, let alone picking out the ring that could make or break their engagement.

"It's an uncomfortable purchase for guys," says Josh Holland, spokesperson for online jeweler BlueNile.com. "They go to a jewelry store and they're overwhelmed and confused." 

It was BlueNile's founder's awkward experience shopping for a ring that inspired him to launch the company in the first place. 

"(The company) is based on product education," Holland says. "No one here works on commission. We empower customers with information." In today's economy, that often means helping consumers track down a ring that not only suits their mate but their budget as well. 

Here are seven smart ways to save on your engagement ring: 

Forget the 3-month rule. The old adage that men should budget three month's salary for the perfect engagement ring is basically a load of bull. "That's a myth. There are no real rules. Men should make a budget and try to stick to it," Holland says.

Don't skimp on the cut. There are Four C's in diamond-shopping: cut, color, clarity and carat. "A diamond's cut is the most critical because it determines a diamond's brilliance (sparkle)," Holland says. "We really counsel people on not worrying about size so much as cut. If you have a really sparkly and brilliant ring it'll appear bigger than a bigger, lower-cut quality diamond.

Think outside the 'big box'. More than $1 billion of the $9.64 billion spent on engagement and wedding rings in 2010 came from online purchases. That's because online retailers like BlueNile offer prices anywhere from 20 to 40 percent lower than bricks-and-mortar shops. "A traditional retailer would buy ring for $1,000 and sell it for $2,000. We'll buy that and sell it for $1,300," Holland says.

Don't be afraid to go down a half-carat. You can save hundreds of dollars but knowing how the pricing system works for carat. "Diamond prices jump disproportionately at the carat and half-carat marks," according to Holland, so you'll want to buy just shy of those levels. "For example, instead of a 1 carat diamond, look for a .95. You'll save a significant amount of money, and the slight size difference will never be noticed."

Trust your eyes. Ask for an 'eye-clean' diamond, rather than 'flawless'. Most so-called "flaws" occur naturally in diamonds and can't be viewed by the human eye–no one will see what it is you're paying so much for. " To achieve the best value consider a near-colorless (graded G-H) instead of a colorless diamond (graded D-F) or a VS2 (Very Slightly Included) clarity grade as opposed to a Flawless clarity grade," he advises. 

Check the return policy. So, the worst has happened and your fiancee girlfriend hates the ring–what if it's too late to return it? That's the case at many high-end jewelers, which either have 24-hour policies or none at all. The good news is many have loosened up a little on returns and offer 30-day policies, including BlueNile. 

Buy Certified. "All diamonds are not created equal," Holland says. Don't pull out your credit card until you've seen certification by at least one independent grading agency–such as the Gemological Institute of America or the American Gem Society. "If your diamond has been graded by the jeweler behind the counter, it's a bit like the fox guarding the hen house," he says." 

Now see 15 things you should NEVER waste your money on > 

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