Am I Ready For Sex?: 7 Things To Think About

By Katie Naymon in SEXUAL HEALTH

Whether you’re a virgin or are contemplating having sex with a new partner, first times can be nerve-wracking. There are many factors to consider, both emotional and physical. We talked to Heather Corinna, founder and executive director of Scarleteen, an independent, grassroots sexuality education and support organization and website. Corinna is a sexuality, contraception and abortion educator and counselor as well as a writer and activist. Read on for her and collegiettes’ advice on how to know when you’re ready for sex.

When is the right time to have sex in a relationship?

Some girls wait until marriage, some wait a few months and some just a few dates. There’s no recommended timeline—the right time to have sex is when you and your partner feel ready. Eva, a collegiette at Colby College, decided to lose her virginity a month into hooking up with the girl she liked. She says you know it’s a good time to have sex “once you stop thinking about it and don't doubt the person and trust they're on the same page,” she says. “I had a first time that was genuinely lovely. We fell hard and fast.” For others, it takes a bit longer to get comfortable. Veronica, a collegiette at Johns Hopkins, has dated her boyfriend for four months but has decided to wait to have sex. “I want to make sure I’m in love. I don’t want to have any doubts about it. You hear about a lot of people who do it and then regret it,” she says.

The Orgasm Suicides

Lizzie Crocker, The Daily Beast

The words “arousal” and “orgasm” are almost universally associated with sexual pleasure—a biological itch that goes away (or at least temporarily subsides) when scratched. But what if scratching only exacerbated that itch, so much that it became an intractable ache often compounded by burning, throbbing, and swelling? 

These symptoms were truly unbearable for Gretchen Molannen, a 39-year-old Florida woman who committed suicide earlier this month. Roughly 16 years ago, Molannen developed a rare and little known condition called persistent genital arousal disorder (PGAD). 

Like many women who suffer from the debilitating disorder, Molannen was forced to quit her job and had difficulty maintaining relationships with family and friends, let alone boyfriends. She underwent diagnostic procedures and sought treatment for her symptoms from a variety of doctors, none of whom could provide her with any answers or long-term relief. Molannen divulged every detail of her battle with PGAD to The Tampa Bay Times—from her masturbation habits to previous suicide attempts—for an exposé that was printed the day before she put an end to her suffering.