What to keep in mind when you start online dating.

New to Online Dating: 11 Tips

By Winnie Yu                                                                                              Reviewed by Laura J. Martin, MD
WebMD Feature

You're ready to meet someone new. Heading to the local bar doesn't appeal. Friends have no one to suggest. So you're thinking about trying online dating.

For many people these days, the better option is online dating, says Fran Walfish, PhD, a psychotherapist in Beverly Hills, Calif. "Online is the faster, most accessible place," she says. "Many couples have found each other through online dating sites."

Online dating offers a large pool of candidates that you can "meet" from the comfort of your home, notes Terri Orbuch, PhD, a relationship therapist in West Bloomfield, Mich. "It's really convenient, and it opens you up to a wide-open world of potential matches," Orbuch tells WebMD.

For Love or Money: Does Online Dating Really Work? [INFOGRAPHIC]

By Sam Laird | Mashable

  

Online dating is booming. The industry has doubled since 2007, currently boasting 40 million users and $1.9 billion in annual revenue, according Match.com.

But does online dating really work for the lovelorn? Or does it just help companies rake in heaps of cash?

[More from Mashable: What’s Working in Digital Non-Profit Fundraising [INFOGRAPHIC]]

Some 17% of married couples say they met online, compared to 27% who say they met through a mutual friend and 38% who say they met at work or school. People who meet on dating sites are also quicker to tie the knot than those who meet in the real world -- dating for an average of just over 18 months before getting hitched, compared to 42 months for those who meet offline.

But be skeptical when browsing potential love interests; 81% of people online lie about their height, weight or age on dating profiles. Women typically trim about 8 pounds from their weight, while men typically add half an inch to their height.

[More from Mashable: Encyclopedia Britannica vs. Wikipedia [INFOGRAPHIC]]

The infographic below paints a fuller picture of just what the online dating landscape looks like and who its big winners are. MBAPrograms.org pulled research and reporting from a variety of sources to put the pieces together. Check it out and see if it matches your own experiences and assumptions.

Do you think online dating really works? Let us know in the comments.

Courtesy of: MBA Programs

This story originally published on Mashable here.

http://news.yahoo.com/love-money-does-online-dating-really-infographic-

Being in love online - A Practical Guide

More and more people these days are finding love online be it due to time constraints, unsociable working hours or simply the death of the community, but one thing is for sure, this is the fastest growing way to meet potential partners, however it has it's pitfalls. 


Whilst online dating agencies may offer a quick way to meeting these partners, Instant Messaging using programs such as ICQ, MSN, or Odigo offer a lightning speed way of getting very intimate, very quickly. It is so quick because you can be just who you want to be when you are chatting online, no one will see you blush if you say something wrong and most importantly, it allows you to take risks that you would never dream of taking in the real world. 


The most powerful aspect of this all though is that we paint our own picture in our minds of what the other person is without all those non-verbal cues such as facial expressions and mannerisms that subconsciously in the real world tell us valuable things about the person. In short, with our own beautifully created perception of the person, fall for them. So why do we as intelligent human beings end up falling for people we have never even met before? The answer is simple, we want to be in love, we so want to tell ourselves that the searching for our soul mate is over and with that we picture our lives in a blissful sea of coupledom, sharing our lives together. Sadly it is this haste to end our single lives that can lead to disappointment as quickly as it started.

Meeting Your online love for the first time 

Sooner or later the question of actually meeting in person will come up and whilst many people would say it's better to take your time and let the online relationship develop, I strongly believe that the sooner you do it, the better. If you leave it too long, then the impression you have built up of this person will be so deep rooted that your expectations will be far too high and you will be set for disappointment. The other point is if you have been a lot more confident chatting than you would be in real life, how are you going to be able to keep up that persona? You may end up competing with yourself. 


So assuming that you are both happy with the length of time the romance has been going on for and you decide to meet, what will it be like? It will be quite strange to begin with. You may find that although you have been up most nights until 5 in the morning chatting, you find it hard to talk about things in the flesh. This is perfectly natural as the two of you are having to almost re-learn the parameters of the relationship and digest the visual cues that our mannerisms and facial expressions provide. It will be a nerve racking time as we have to decide there and then if these mannerisms and even physical odours are compatible with us. If you can pass that first test, then things get a lot easier. Do however be very careful if you are traveling abroad to meet someone because if things fail at this first hurdle, then you are totally stuck on your own in a foreign country.

Passed first base, what next? 

Having gone through this initial nerve racking first meeting, there is often a huge temptation to revert back to an 'online relationship' as it feels so much more comfortable, but I cannot stress enough to resist that temptation. Slip back into the old online chatting routine and the online persona won't die. The transition from online to offline relationship can be extremely difficult but at all costs, you must get to know the real person from a new offline perspective and kill off any false impressions you may have had about them online. Going back to the online chatting routine may make you feel all warm and fuzzy again, but it can be an unrealistic perception of who the person really is.

In Summary 

This all may seem a little negative and in some cases may not even apply, but overall, forewarned is forearmed. There are of course many people who have made a success of their relationship by Instant Messaging and some are even married now but it really pays to be aware of how feelings can be distorted by the shield of an anonymous nickname and a computer monitor. 


http://freethinkermatch.com/index.php?page=showarticle&articleid=2

Dating Online? Watch that Ad!

New to Online Dating? Trying to find the man or woman of your dreams through the Virtual World? You need to have a Good Personal Ad or Dating Profile

Some people don't believe me when I tell them that most problems with not enough Responses to your Ad can be fixed just by writing a better Ad. And then I often take them, real-time, to an Online Dating Site. I randomly start reading out profiles, and they cannot believe that so many people write such terrible ads! Maybe it is this overvalued notion of spontaneity, of writing whatever comes to your mind, letting it flow, being you - which leads you to write gibberish in your ads. Say goodbye to any success in Online Dating with that. Think what would happen if NASA Engineers became spontaneous.

So stop your Dating shuttle from crashing and read these examples of common Mistakes in Dating Profiles. Have a laugh, but be careful, your own profile may have bugs too! (All examples are real)

.."I am a funny, witty person...."

Funny and witty people never write that directly. Instead of saying this, add a touch of humor to your profile.

.."I was just bored, so wrote my profile here..."

A negative attitude. Instead, say, "I am new to this..."

..."I am an Honest, Spontaneous, Creative, Intelligent (..other personal adjectives) ...person."

Very few people think they are not, so this is very subjective (same as the fact that 80% people believe that they have an IQ above average!). Even if true, it is redundant information at best. Avoid using personal adjectives in your Ad or Profile.

Define yourself concretely-better to say I am a Guitar player in a Band or I write Novels or I am a practising Doctor than I am Creative or Intelligent.

..."I want a guy who can make me laugh..."

Comes across as negative-you sound slightly depressed if you need someone just to make you laugh. Theres plenty of stuff on the TV to make you laugh, and you are not looking for a joker, you are looking for a boyfriend, a mate...remember?

..."I like dark haired men, but if you are blond and good-looking, write me anyway, maybe you can change my mind...."

Turn-off to blond men. Make up your mind, if you are looking for only dark haired men, just say that. Dont play both sides of the coin, generally backfires. Better not to say anything if you are not sure.

..."I like taking walks by the ocean, or watching TV, or going camping with my friends..."

Unimportant details. Most people like these things, and these are hardly important details in finding a partner (it is unlikely you wont like going out with someone just because they dont like walking the beach or watching TV with you) . Your hobbies is where you put these things, and more specifically-e.g. Camping, or Watching Basketball.

..."I am sexy, flirtatious,... I like kisses on my back, full body massages from my boyfriend/girlfriend..."

Generally speaking, keep the sexual innuendos out. You will have plenty of time to exchange many raunchy emails if you are addicted to writing sexual stuff... but in the first impression, keep it out. Think about it this way-would you say this to a guy or a girl in a bar who you meet for the first time? If not, then dont say it in your Ad either.

..."I am looking for a REAL man/woman, with all the letters of REAL..."

Everyone is real. Basically, dont worry, sounds like you have had some bad experiences in relationships, but thats over now. Come with a positive attitude to Online Dating, and just meet the people. Then when you email them and meet them in person, you can decide if they are real or not.

..."I am not interested in guys who are bitter and boring..."

No one is. Use the Ad mostly to tell what you like, not what you dont like. Agreeability is a must have in first introductions. 


gotquestions  http://freethinkermatch.com/index.php?page=showarticle&articleid=3 

IM, you M: Instant-messaging etiquette

By Laura J. Schaefer

If email just isn't fast enough for you, instant messaging now offers the gratification of immediate contact. Buddy lists are growing and most people now pass the workday with the help of friendly little windows of conversation (don't tell my boss). Instant messaging, in fact, has become a common step between posting or answering an online dating profile and the actual meeting. It's a date with training wheels, an audition. To ensure that you make the cut and pedal confidently into the sunset, heed the following tips: 

1. Keep the emoticons and abbreviations to a minimum
There is nothing more annoying than an IMer who is constantly "lol," (laughing out loud). The same thing goes for excessive smiley faces. Reserve these little winking guys for when you want to make it clear that you're not serious. Don't throw them in after every single sentence unless you want to resemble a third grade girl. 

2. Keep it interesting
If you know you'll be instant messaging a potential date several times before an actual meeting, you'll have to dig a little deeper than "What did you do last weekend?" Like any other conversation, you have to be engaging — this time without the mesmerizing effect of your physical presence. If you sense that your instant messaging partner has the time and interest to stay with the session (i.e., she is replying quickly to your posts and asking questions), feel free to find out details about her job, pet, or family. Keep the tone light and fun. Make her laugh, compliment her, tease her.

3. Don't overwhelm
IM isn't the place to get into heavy topics or long stories. The same is true of pushy come-ons. Just because you happen to be shielded by a computer screen doesn't mean that you should turn off your inner editor. 

4. Watch your spelling
Sometime after the invention of email, people got very lazy about spelling and punctuation. Set yourself apart and make a good impression by watching these little details. 

5. Never use all caps
Watch your font and stay away from caps, which suggest shouting and are harder to read. GOT IT?

6. Are you there?
If you are on each other's buddy lists, you'll always know when the other is online. What you don't ever know is if the other is available to IM. Don't bombard her with messages every time she appears online. A quick "hello, how are you?" is fine. Eight forlorn posts with no reply is kinda sad.

7. End the conversation before the other party loses interest
If the replies slow down or become very short, you'll want to sign off. Remember that the goal of all of this online chat is to meet in person for a date. Keep her interest level high by saving your best stories instead of typing them all out. Instant messages should build anticipation, not dispel it. 

Laura Schaefer is the author of Man with Farm Seeks Woman with Tractor: The Best and Worst Personal Ads of All Time. 

http://yahoo.match.com/cp.aspx?cpp=/cppp/yahoo/article.html&articleid=2389&ER=sessiontimeout