Timing Is Everything

By: David Feddes

Scripture Reading: Ecclesiastes 3:11

Timing is everything. There’s a time to be happy and a time to be grumpy—and in my opinion morning is definitely a time to be grumpy. Some people leap out of bed before sunrise, smiling and singing and saying happy hellos to everyone they meet. I’m not a morning person, so these early—morning cheerleaders just make me grumpier than I already am. I agree with the Bible verse that says, “If a man loudly blesses his neighbor early in the morning, it will be taken as a curse“ (Proverbs 27:14). Bad timing can make a blessing feel like a curse.

Timing is everything, and everything has its time. Perhaps the best—known passage about timing in all of world literature is in the Bible at the beginning of Ecclesiastes 3.

That Your Prayers May Not Be Hindered

"But if we [really] are living and walking in the Light as He [Himself] is in the Light, we have [true, unbroken] fellowship with one another." (1 John 1:7, The Amplified Bible)

One area of our lives we believers need to particularly guard is the area of our relationships. We simply have to heed the Word of God where they're concerned. Let's not fuss with one another and criticize one another so much that we hinder the forces that God has given us to make us successful in this world.

Strife also causes trouble in the spirit realm. It opens the door to the devil. It keeps our prayers from being answered. It even keeps our angels from moving on our behalf!

IT’S NOT LOVE, IT’S OXYTOCIN

Visualize being on a fourth date with an attractive man who you’re totally into. He is showering you with compliments. You can’t stop smiling as the two of you hold hands, kiss softly, and flirt playfully. A little bit of skin-to-skin contact already has your brain releasing feel good hormones called endorphins, and a powerful hormone called oxytocin. 

As the date continues, you feel even closer to him and by the end of the night, he’s managed to get you into bed. Now your oxytocin levels are through the roof, especially if he has brought you to orgasm, which releases even more of this bonding hormone. With this amount of oxytocin circulating in your system, you’re now what I like to call ‘under the influence’. That’s right. 

WHY MOMS DON’T ALWAYS WANT TO KNOW BEST

By Sheila

Each Friday my syndicated column appears in several newspapers. Here’s this week’s!

I’ve been giving advice to men about relationships lately, and I thought I’d continue the trend today, since I like telling men what to do.

Let’s start with a misconception men often have. Many men think that if they have mastered the sentence, “Whatever you want is fine with me, Honey,” they have hit the relationship bullseye.

Unfortunately, if that’s you, you’re likely in for a rude awakening. Imagine this: your wife asks you whether little Johnny should take soccer this year. You smile and utter those magic words, and then incomprehensibly she storms off! Something got lost in translation.

Sexting Among Teens on the Rise, Says Study

By MIKAELA CONLEY | Good Morning America

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  Sexting Among Teens on the Rise, Says Study (ABC News)

Brian Kearney said that as a gay teenager, he missed out on the typical teenage love connections that most of his peers experienced in high school. He didn't have gay interactions, but apps and technologies allowed him to connect with gay men he otherwise wouldn't meet.

He was 17 when he sent his first sext, he said.

The Gentleman's Guide to Sending Dick Pictures to Random Women on the Internet.

1) Consider the wisdom of sending a dick picture. If the relationship she is seeking could be construed as a "dating" or "friendly" one, sending your dick at all is mega creepy. And even in the context of casual sex and cybersex, women aren't necessarily aroused by penis JPGs. You might want to wait for her to ask for a dick picture, rather than using it to introduce yourself.

2) Make sure your equipment is suitable. The proper condition for dick photos is clean and dry (seriously, ewww), fully erect, and with well-groomed pubes. If it can stay fully erect without you death-gripping it around the base, so much the better.

Our entire relationship consists of text messages. Is this normal?

by Rosie Einhorn, L.C.S.W. and Sherry Zimmerman, J.D., M.Sc

Dear Rosie & Sherry,

I live in New York and have been tele-dating a guy from the Midwest. We met once for three days. He's very much into texts and does not call that often. He told me he would be ready to discuss “moving forward” for my birthday this past July, but now he says he’s not ready to talk.

Sex and Aging

By Chris Woolston, M.S., and Paige Bierma, M.A.

Nothing is more irritating to author Connie Goldman than the stereotypes out there about older people and sex -- especially the one about seniors not having sex. "People see an older couple that has just gotten married or who are holding hands, and they say, 'Oh, how cute,' " says Goldman, a former public radio producer. "It's belittling."

At age 76, Goldman spends a great deal of her time trying to counter those stereotypes. "There is this idea that all old people are alike, but my experience in interviewing hundreds of seniors is that each relationship is unique and different," says Goldman, whose recent book, Late-Life Love: Romance and New Relationships in Later Years, features interviews with 22 couples about their relationships.

The Pervocracy - Using my vagina.

(Yes, I have a modular hacked vibrator in my bedroom.
I don't know why you'd imagine for an instant that I wouldn't.)

I can be very good at standing back and using my body instrumentally. When I have to do something disgusting at work, I can dissociate from my hands. I can still feel them (obviously), but I don't invest any emotion in it and I don't expect to enjoy it. Washing out a wound or emptying a bedpan isn't about how my hands feel, and that's okay.

'Sexting' May Go Hand-in-Hand With Unprotected Sex Among Teens

Study found association with other forms of sexual risk-taking among high school students

By Maureen Salamon
HealthDay Reporter

(HealthDay News) -- Teens who "sext" sexually explicit texts or images are probably taking other sexual risks as well, with new research indicating these adolescents are seven times more likely to be sexually active and significantly more apt to be having unprotected sex.

Analyzing self-reported behaviors of more than 1,800 Los Angeles students aged 12 to 18 (most were between 14 and 17), researchers found that 15 percent with cell phones acknowledged sexting and 54 percent knew someone who had sent a sext. Rarely was sexting the only sexually risky behavior involved.

"It's surprising in some ways that sexting isn't an alternative to risky sexual behaviors, it's part of the [same] landscape," said study author Eric Rice, an assistant professor in the School of Social Work at the University of Southern California. "I don't want to be alarmist, but I do think that parents who suspect their kids are sexting should be aware of the probability their kids are involved in other sexual behavior as well. They probably should worry insofar as it's likely their teens are sexually active and not using birth control."

Don't Be the Worst: When Is It OK for Me to Send a Girl a Picture of My Penis?

Our new sex columnist answers the crucial question Anthony Weiner (and every man) wishes he'd asked

BY JULIEANNE SMOLINSKI

This week, I also got a penis direct message on Twitter. It was from my friend Gina, who was worried that a penis direct messaging scandal might get in the way of our mission to get Fred Durst to direct message us a picture of his penis. I guess it's more of a contest, really, since the loser has to take the winner to Friendly's.

The Case for Letting Your Partner’s Eye Wander

By MEREDITH MELNICK |

Just ask Eve. There’s nothing so desirable as the one thing you’re not allowed to have. Which is why a new study suggests that if your partner’s got a wandering eye, you might be better off letting him (or her) enjoy it. 

Research on romance has consistently shown that men and women who don’t notice attractive strangers tend to be more satisfied in their own relationships and are more likely to stay with their partners long term. Of course, that blindness has to come naturally. When a person is forced to divert his attention from that cute bartender — by, say, a jealous partner’s opprobrium — it could result in a sort of “backlash” effect, which may end up reducing his level of relationship commitment.

That’s the finding of a new study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, which tests the “forbidden fruit” hypothesis in a series of experiments on college students who were involved in romantic relationships. Write the researchers:

Sex Trade

Want to take the sex in your relationship to eruptive new heights? The hottest and most salacious mom in Canada, Kelly Oxford, proposes that it's time to put sexual favors on the table and start negotiating

BY KELLY OXFORD

ILLUSTRATION BY ZOHAR LAZAR

In the beginning, every serious romantic entanglement is an electric, superconducting, steamy, fleshy hump festival. New sex partner = new sex, and new sex = lots of sex. That's sex math. You're in the kitchen making pasta sauce—bam!—you're having sex on the floor. 

You're parking the car in the garage—bam—you're having sex in the car. But inevitably, invariably, it wears off. Soon all your conversations, once so filled with erotic promise, are about bills and barfy kids and how that swollen knee makes your leg look like Jackie Gleason's.

Priest who found love now searches for work

WILMINGTON, N.C. (RNS)    While burning through their savings looking for jobs, Gerry Murphy and Andrea Kanelopoulos-Murphy and their two young children were invited by a local businessman to stay in his condo this summer until they found a position.

Bernadette Murphy, 5, the Rev. Gerry Murphy, his wife Andrea Murphy and 3-year-old Maryn Murphy stayed in Wilmington, N.C. this summer while they looked for their next ministry job.
RNS FAVS photo by Rebekah McCune, courtesy of Andrea Murphy

With 10 percent unemployment in this corner of North Carolina, their story could be a common one. But the couple believe their unique marriage sometimes makes it harder to find the right workplace.

After three years in the priesthood serving a Catholic parish in Oakland, Calif., Murphy, an Irish-born Catholic, felt a tug in his heart. He wanted a family, but his vows of celibacy prevented that.“I got ordained at 37 in 2001, and I had been in a couple of relationships before that, so the whole celibacy issue was a question for me — even on the day of my ordination,” he said.

Sticks and Stones

Written by Barbara Alpert

It’s been said that we are all the walking wounded. You can help come alongside wounded people by applying to be a mentor. Your prayer and kind words can make a difference. Apply today!

“The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.” (Proverbs 15:4)

Many have heard or even recited, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me”. How false the second part of this old time saying is! Cruel words spoken to or about us do hurt. In fact, many people, regardless of age, remain wounded for years because of hurtful words tossed at them. The power of just one unkind word can crush a person’s spirit for a very long time.

Your Life Is Shaped by Your Thoughts

by Rick Warren “Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.” (Romans 12:2 NLT) You cannot become all God created you to be until you understand the five factors that influence your identity. The first two are chemistry (how you are made) and connections (your relationships). You are a product of the way God created you and of the relationships in your life.

Why Childfree Couples Have It All

Laura Carroll

Author and Communications 

Consultant

Keli Goff hits the nail on the head in her post "Why Women Shouldn't Want To Have it All" when she makes the point that for all the solutions Anne-Marie Slaughter lays out as necessary for more women to be able to "have it all," "she completely omits one of the most obvious: the need to change the entire conversation about how women define success, from a one-size fits all model that includes marriage, motherhood and career into a find-what-works-for-you model."

Why is parenthood always in the work-life equation? Because we assume that at one point or another, our personal lives will involve raising children. And we make this assumption because for generations, we've been taught to believe that parenthood is the ultimate path to fulfillment in life. We may have successful careers and do many other things in life, but becoming a mother and father is what's going to make life truly worthwhile.

The key phrase here is what we "have been taught to believe" about parenthood. To understand how we've come to believe what we do about parenthood we have to go back in time. Throughout history, valuing fertility was necessary to ensure survival. Leaders encouraged, even mandated population growth to offset population losses due to infant mortality, war and disease. The larger a society's population, the more it could expand and gain power. 

Praise That Fits

Rejoice in the Lord, O you righteous! For praise from the upright is beautiful.
Psalm 33:1

Praise and the upright person go together. It is absolutely impossible to think of one apart from the other. The Lord delights in the praises of His people, and there is a distinct beauty, not only in the form of worship and praise, but also in its transforming qualities in the worshiper's life. Praise with thanksgiving and worship from the heart provide a garment visible on the outside and beauty seen on the inside of a person.

The psalmist declares he has been clothed with gladness (Ps. 30:11). In Isaiah 61:3 we are instructed to put on "the garment of praise." Praise is the customary apparel of the upright! If we stop praising, it is as if we are unclothed.

The King James Version of Psalm 33:1 declares "praise is comely for the upright." Maybe it will just make us a little better looking! That is certainly true in our attitudes and relationships. Praisers do not make good complainers. So continue growing as a praising saint. God loves it and it looks good on you!

http://www.jackhayford.org/articles/devotional.sd

Praying Together

Acts 1:12–26

They all joined together constantly in prayer.

Acts 1:14

I don’t remember when Dan and I started praying together, but I do recall that our first attempts felt awkward. For a long time we only prayed the Lord’s Prayer out loud together. This was safe because we both knew the words to it.

Over time, and as each of us felt more comfortable being emotionally and spiritually naked with each other, we began to talk out loud to God as if he was the third person in our relationship. Now we try to pray out loud together daily. It’s no longer awkward, and it has promoted spiritual intimacy. That was an unexpected bonus of being married to each other. No one had ever told us we could experience this kind of intimacy in our relationship.

My Best Friend

Friends play an important role in my life. It's hard for me to think of a period when I didn't have several close ones. 

My best friend is David. The close relationship we have didn't happen merely because of the passage of time, although that certainly played a role. In analyzing our friendship, the most significant factor has been that we nurtured the relationship. We spent time together. We talked. We shared things about ourselves that we had told no one else. I share this about David because it's the best way I know to talk about my Best Friend in the universe. His name is Jesus. 

This morning, I went for a walk with Him through a wooded area near my home. I had a quiet, peaceful time. Of course, I did most of the talking, because Jesus is a better listener than I am. But I paused occasionally. A few times I stopped, and we pushed aside our conversation to take in the wild ducks that live all year long at the little lake. Jesus and I sat in silence on a bench as I stared at the murky water and gazed upward at the cloudless sky. In the far distance, I heard a child call another. Although I couldn't see them, cars occasionally whizzed down the nearby street.