5 Facebook Fights in Marriage

Written by K. Jason and Kelli Krafsky

Kids. Sex. Money. According to therapists, these are the most common topics married couples argue about. After recently talking with a number of counselors and clergy about common marriage problems they’re dealing with, Facebook should be added to that list. In fact, Facebook is one of the most popular relationship conflicts for today’s married couples.

Why would that be? With over 400-million users, Facebook has become the preferred communication vehicle for connecting with friends and family, and has quickly integrated into the daily routines of adults of all ages. In its wake, many spouses are grappling to keep up with their feelings towards their mates’ rate of reconnected relationships, degrees of convenience connecting to the online social network, and their level of devotion to the website.

In fact, based off the research for our book, Facebook and Your Marriage (which included personal interviews with Facebookers, conversations with therapists, surveying many blogs and websites, and reading the dozens and dozens of comments on Facebook) we’ve discovered that when a spouse says “Facebook is an issue in my marriage,” it is a cry for help without an understanding of what the real problem is.

They mistakenly blame the website when it is most likely one of these five common Facebooking issues.

5 ways you can stay fit as a couple

By Patricia Hizon | Yahoo! SHE

It takes two to keep fit and healthy.  If you’re a health buff, imagine being married to a junk food-eating, non-exercising, potbelly-scratching couch potato.  Not pretty! 


It is important for couples to work together, like they do in other aspects of their relationship, to achieve a healthier lifestyle.


Here are simple and easy tips.


1. Watch each other’s diet.


It’s really not that easy to go on any kind of diet if the person you’re constantly with is munching on the very same food you’re trying to avoid.  This sometimes leads to tension in the relationship. 


Couples should mutually agree on the terms of the diet—whether it’s to cut down on carbs or sodium, use organic ingredients, or go vegetarian.


Agreement is key to commitment.  That means that you have to manage your food intake together as a couple and check on one another.


The best way to get this started is to consult a nutritionist.  You and your partner might have different dietary needs and goals, but the reality is you share the same pantry and kitchen.

Read: Do vitamin supplements do more harm to the elderly?

2. Go to bed earlier.


This is a great excuse to get a head start on snuggling up. That might mean turning off the laptop, the TV, getting the kids out of the room and adjusting your evening routines so you hit the sack earlier.


When you improve your sleeping habits, you are allowing your body to recover and priming it to take on the demands of the day. 


Plus, studies have shown that people who sleep less than six hours a night undergo hormone changes that lead to an increase in hunger.

Read: 10 ways to break bad habits

3. Make gym dates a regular thing.

Using cardio machines side by side can help motivate and encourage the other to reach his or her individual goals.


On weights, you or your partner can praise each other as you flex in front of the mirror.  Ladies, squeeze his biceps and show some admiration.  A regular pat on the back (or the lower extremities) can put your partner in a giddy mood.


Use opportunities like wiping the sweat beads off the side of your partner’s face to keep the flames of romance alive.  At least you’ll be burning more than just calories!


Go on gym dates two to three times a week.

Read: The best time to stretch

4. Enjoy the outdoors.


Look for activities you and your partner would enjoy.  A brisk walk or a run around the neighborhood, a bike ride on a trail both of you can conquer, or a weekend fun run.


Or, try a little basketball, volleyball and even football at the local park. You don’t need to be great, but you need to be determined.


There are so many activities you and your partner can take up to make your bond strong...and your bones and muscles even stronger.

Read: 5 healthy reasons to get walking

5. Dance like no one’s looking.


It doesn’t matter if you have two left feet. What matters is that you’re willing to spice up your workout with a partner who won’t laugh (that much) at you for your not being blessed with rhythm and grace.


Dancing is a sure-fire way to add sizzle to your relationship while allowing those unwanted fats to fizzle.


There are many dance classes and dance workouts being offered in malls, hotels and neighborhood studios. You can also hit the many dance clubs in the city.


Staying fit and healthy not only allows you to enjoy life more fully, it also puts more excitement in your relationship.

Remember, it takes two to tango.  So drop the chips, get off the couch and vow to get through the challenge together, in fitness and in health.

Read: Street dance for fitness

Patricia Hizon is an accomplished sportscaster, mother of two, wife of a basketball player turned golf addict, free lance producer and writer, owner of a travel agency, marketing and events consultant, and founder of the "Everyday Is Your Birthday Foundation". Get to know more about her on her blog 
www.patriciahizon.com.

http://ph.she.yahoo.com/5-ways-you-can-stay-fit-as-a-couple.html;_ylt=ArEv_azmVf4OD.pyiC8YkHiIeeR_

BySelf Magazine

Three Things You Should Do When You Wake Up

Shutterstock

What's the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning? If it's a work day, you probably hit the snooze button a few times, then spring out of bed in a panic, propelling yourself into your day with your mind on everything you have to do to get out the door. Or maybe you find yourself in the shower, without any real memory of how you got there. Sound familiar?

Turns out, just a few simple movements can help you relax and ground yourself for your day, rather than zooming through your morning full of stress and a racing mind.

Jack Wiener, a certified and licensed psychoanalyst, founder of the former School for Creative Movement in NYC and author of The Way of the 4th Toe: Into the Feeling Body, believes that the most important thing you can do as soon as you wake up is to gently bring your awareness fully into your body, so that as you move through the rest of the day, you maintain a sense of grounding that can help you cope with the physical and mental stresses of daily life.

"When you sleep, your body goes into itself," says Weiner, explaining that while you're snoozing, the sensations of your muscles become very minimal. In other words, you're not consciously aware of your body; you're not in a physically or mentally grounded state of being.

This state of being works for the purposes of sleep, but not for your waking hours. You want to be "in" and aware of your body during the day. When you experience stress or anxiety throughout the day, says Weiner, these emotions and sensations can cause you to instinctively "pull in" to yourself, which, ironically, is the opposite of being grounded in your body. Weiner describes this process as a literal contraction and tension of your muscles. If you're not aware, this happens automatically, and can affect everything from your breathing to your circulation to how the events of your day affect you. 

If you can bring yourself back into your body and release the tension in your muscles, then, says Weiner, you're more able to cope with stress, and you're more emotionally aware and alive. Not only are you carrying less tension in your neck and shoulders, but if you can maintain an awareness of being in your body, then it's easier to not get caught up and swept away in the worries and anxieties. "It's so simple, yet so profound," says Weiner.

So, how should you start the day? By doing these three simple things:
Before you even get out of bed ...

1. Gently flex and point your feet for 15-30 seconds. This, says Weiner, is a good way to gently begin to activate your musculature and to bring your awareness to your feet, which is literally grounding. Then, wiggle your fingers and gently open and close you hands into a fist shape for 15-30 seconds. "Those are small little things," says Weiner, but they can really help you if your standard MO is to immediately activate your whole body by springing out of bed with your mind on what you have to get done.

Next, as you get out of bed ...

2. Consciously place your feet on the floor. Stand there for a moment, fully aware of the floor beneath you, and concentrate on feeling grounded.

Finally ...

3. Do a gentle hamstring stretch. "This will sustain your connection to the ground," Weiner says, and delay the pulling up into your upper body that leads not only to a lack of feeling grounded, but to tension in your neck and shoulders. The more grounded and "in your body" you can start your day, says Weiner, the more you will be able to carry this feeling and awareness into the rest of your day. Good morning, indeed!

 http://www.youbeauty.com/body-fitness/three-things-you-should-do-when-you-wake-up?utm_source=outbrain&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=OutBrain%2BCPC&utm_term=Three-Things-You-Should-Do-When-You-Wake

My Own Daily Reminder

When you open my cell phone, the first word that you will see pop-up on my greeting screen is "BELIEVE". I have had that word tacked up onto my computer screen, my vanity mirror, my journal - almost anywhere that I can see it. However, I have never really taken what that word means to heart. This afternoon, I know what it is like to believe.
A few days ago, I got hold of the DVD of The Secret. I had already read the book some time ago, and I wanted to watch the film. I decided to take The Secret's message to heart.
Each morning, I had been waking up and dreading going to work - the company I work for has a very stressful environment, and being there takes a lot out of me. Despite this, I would tell myself and really feel that I was excited to go to work, that it was going to be a good day, that only good things were coming my way. Doing this helped me. I would get through my days tired, but still able to laugh and feel less stressed. I also developed a more compassionate view of the people in our office who made our lives hard. I started seeing them not as monsters, but as people who hurt inside like we do. I was happy with this result - it made me feel more serene and calm and less stressed. It also started making me more productive at work, as I no longer let the tense atmosphere affect me. But I was in for a little surprise. The Universe wanted to show me just how this process works. :-)
Each Christmas season, Starbucks gives out daily planners to its loyal customers. The planners are usually covered in real leather and are quite striking and stylish. To get one, you have to fill up a small card with 24 stickers - each sticker represents one cup of coffee bought in Starbucks. In our country, a cup of Starbucks coffee costs an average of Philippine Peso 150.00 - about the cost of one lunch and transportation to and from work. In a country where wages aren't that high, this is quite a luxury, and although I get paid a bit more than the average worker, this is a bit much for someone who has a family like me. I have tried for three years to get the stickers required, but each year I stop about midway when I start computing the cost! This year, when they started the annual promo, I got a card and wondered if I could fill it up with the required stickers. I had worked my way into getting 18 stickers onto the card - no mean feat considering that I started collecting the stickers the day the promo started, or almost two months ago! I had scrimped and saved to get at least two stickers a week - sometimes three if I had a little extra left over. I wanted to get that planner before Christmas - my gift to myself.
With only five days left till Christmas, I wasn't sure that I could fill up the card. I was beginning to think this was going to be one of those years when I'd just watch other people lug the Starbucks planner around and wish I had one. This morning, as I was taking a shower and just enjoying the water splashing on my face, I told myself I was getting that Starbucks planner TODAY. I didn't really know how since I still had 6 stickers to fill up. When I got up from my desk to get my coffee after lunch, I told my staff I was going to get my Starbucks planner. All the while I was thinking: "Now, how is that possible? I can't afford to buy 6 cups of coffee today."
As I stood in line, I kept staring at the planner displayed on the counter. I could feel the leather cover between my fingers and I could imagine writing on its sepia colored pages. All of a sudden I heard the barista ask the girls ahead of me if they wanted to give me their stickers, since they already had their planners and didn't want their stickers anymore. The girls said YES. I almost jumped - I had three free stickers, plus the one for the coffee I was getting made four, which meant that I only needed two more to get the planner. At that point, I was already sooooo thankful and I expressed my thanks to the three young girls who graciously gave me their stickers. (They were my three magi -- only in female form, don't you think?)
But that wasn't the end of it. It so happened that as part of Starbucks Manila's 10th year anniversary, they were giving away double stickers between the hours of 12:30 noon and 2:30 p.m. till December 25. It was 1:00 p.m. so I was getting double stickers!!!! That meant I was getting SIX stickers in all - the number I needed to get my planner!!!!! I walked out of the shop with my planner in the brown Starbucks bag, still in shock, but convinced that I had tapped into the Secret.. even if it was just for a short moment.
I instantly knew why I kept the word BELIEVE tacked in all those places. The Secret had been trying to get to me all these years through that word - I just wasn't really listening.
I have my planner on my desk now. The leather cover feels just as it did when I was imagining how it would feel when I touched it. I have told my co-workers how I got it - I told them I simply believed I was going to get it and I did.
This planner will be with me all through next year. It will be my daily reminder to BELIEVE.
(And oh - I'm already seeing the 2009 planner on a bigger desk in a corner office with a view!)
SFB
The Philippines
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