By His Friendship We Are Healed

by Tiffany Ann Lewis 

"He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed." Isaiah 53:5

Through God's anointing and the use of modern-day technology, we have been able to experience the fulfillment of this verse almost as if we were right there. Images of the beating, images of the crown of thorns, images of the nails...selah. These images have been burned into my mind and change me every time I ponder the Cross of Christ. I am undone over and over again that Divine Love offered His life for our transgressions and became the source of our salvation and healing.

Yet this year, as I looked at the Hebrew letters of light within this verse, I saw something even more. I saw the friendship of God within the stripes on Jesus' back. Let me explain.

Don't Kick the Anthill

Lysa TerKeurst

"The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways, but the folly of fools is deception." Proverbs 14:8 (NIV)

I stood at the dirt mound watching ants. They were busy. I was not.

The afternoon had been slow for me. Several of my friends had been invited to the community pool. Another friend was at camp for the week. Even my last resort, the pigtailed aggravation that lived in the apartment below, was busy. "She's napping," her mom had informed me.

I walked away thinking, She's six years old. Only two years younger than me and she still takes naps? That's the awfullest thing a mom could do to her child. And this is the awfullest afternoon ever.

Can We Really Know God's Will?

The Hem  Devotional -  

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will."
(Romans 12:2 NIV). 

Praise the Lord !

As you can probably imagine, I get dozens of emails each week from Christians from across the globe. I've noticed that most of these messages have a certain theme- What is God's will for my life?

People don't come out and say that of course. They ask questions like:

What can I do to save my marriage?
How do I bring my children back to Christ? 
Why hasn't God given me a new job yet?

But, what they really want to know is, "What is God's will for me in this situation? What does He really want me to do?"

Betrayed by Judas

by Max Lucado

When betrayal comes, what do you do? Get out? Get angry? Get even? You have to deal with it some way. Let’s see how Jesus dealt with it.

Begin by noticing how Jesus saw Judas. “Jesus answered, “Friend, do what you came to do.” (Matthew 26:50)

Of all the names I would have chosen for Judas it would not have been ‘friend’. What Judas did to Jesus was grossly unfair. There is no indication that Jesus ever mistreated Judas. There is no clue that Judas was ever left out or neglected. When, during the Last Supper, Jesus told the disciples that his betrayer sat at the table, they didn’t turn to one another and whisper, “It’s Judas. Jesus told us he would do this.”

They didn’t whisper it because Jesus never said it. He had known it. He had known what Judas would do, but he treated the betrayer as if he were faithful.

It’s even more unfair when you consider the betrayal was Judas’s idea. The religious leaders didn’t seek him, Judas sought them. “What will you pay me for giving Jesus to you?” he asked. (Matthew 26:15) The betrayal would have been more palatable had Judas been propositioned by the leaders, but he wasn’t. He propositioned them.

And Judas’s method again – why did it have to be a kiss?
(Matthew 26: 48-49)

God Wants You to Enjoy Your Life

by Rick Warren

As a Christian, you can enjoy life because your conscience is clear. You can enjoy life because you are secure within God’s love. You can have fun and laugh in church. You can enjoy friends who don’t manipulate you because they are learning to be like Jesus, and that means they are learning to look out for the interests of others.

Unfortunately, there are many people who do not want to let God into their lives because they fear he will make them give up anything that is fun. They think that to become a Christian is the same as saying the party’s over, that to be spiritual is to be miserable.

What If You Had Lots of Money?

by MONEYNING 

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Honey, what happens when you have TOO MUCH money? 

I said to Emma a few days ago. She must’ve thought that we either won the lottery or her husband went crazy, both of which required more attention. With her eyes wide open (I seriously thought it was going to pop out), she said “WHAT DID YOU SAY?.?”.

Walking in Love

By Rev. Lynette Hagin

Many people refer to First Corinthians chapter 13 as “the love chapter.” Too often, we want to skip over reading that part of the Bible. I will readily admit that there have been times in my life when I wanted to ignore that chapter.

But during those times, the Lord continued to lead me to read it. First Corinthians 13:4–7 in the Amplified says, “Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [pays no attention to a suffered wrong]. It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail. Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].”

5 Facebook Fights in Marriage

Written by K. Jason and Kelli Krafsky

Kids. Sex. Money. According to therapists, these are the most common topics married couples argue about. After recently talking with a number of counselors and clergy about common marriage problems they’re dealing with, Facebook should be added to that list. In fact, Facebook is one of the most popular relationship conflicts for today’s married couples.

Why would that be? With over 400-million users, Facebook has become the preferred communication vehicle for connecting with friends and family, and has quickly integrated into the daily routines of adults of all ages. In its wake, many spouses are grappling to keep up with their feelings towards their mates’ rate of reconnected relationships, degrees of convenience connecting to the online social network, and their level of devotion to the website.

In fact, based off the research for our book, Facebook and Your Marriage (which included personal interviews with Facebookers, conversations with therapists, surveying many blogs and websites, and reading the dozens and dozens of comments on Facebook) we’ve discovered that when a spouse says “Facebook is an issue in my marriage,” it is a cry for help without an understanding of what the real problem is.

They mistakenly blame the website when it is most likely one of these five common Facebooking issues.

My Best Friend

Friends play an important role in my life. It's hard for me to think of a period when I didn't have several close ones. 

My best friend is David. The close relationship we have didn't happen merely because of the passage of time, although that certainly played a role. In analyzing our friendship, the most significant factor has been that we nurtured the relationship. We spent time together. We talked. We shared things about ourselves that we had told no one else. I share this about David because it's the best way I know to talk about my Best Friend in the universe. His name is Jesus. 

This morning, I went for a walk with Him through a wooded area near my home. I had a quiet, peaceful time. Of course, I did most of the talking, because Jesus is a better listener than I am. But I paused occasionally. A few times I stopped, and we pushed aside our conversation to take in the wild ducks that live all year long at the little lake. Jesus and I sat in silence on a bench as I stared at the murky water and gazed upward at the cloudless sky. In the far distance, I heard a child call another. Although I couldn't see them, cars occasionally whizzed down the nearby street. 

Ex-girlfriend's Facebook page triggers man's asthma attackFaceboo

Social networking might have triggered asthma attacks for one young Italian man, who experienced breathing troubles whenever he accessed an ex-girlfriend's Facebook page.

Doctors are reporting the strange case in the The Lancet.

The 18-year-old man was depressed because his girlfriend had dumped him and also deleted him from her list of Facebook friends, while "friending" many new young men, the doctors explained in a letter to the journal.

The man, who was taking medications to control his asthma, used a new Facebook nickname to become the girl's friend again and see her picture on her Facebook profile. But every time he saw her picture, he suffered shortness of breath.

Facebook logins triggering asthma attacks

For Teenage Girls, Facebook Means Always Being Camera-Ready

By RANDYE HODER

It used to be that the only people concerned about getting caught in grungy sweat pants, sans makeup, were starlets stalked by the paparazzi. But in today’s hyper-public Internet age, young teenagers are relentlessly living their lives camera-ready — and it’s not a pretty picture.

I first noticed this while looking over my 14-year-old son’s shoulder at photos of his “friends” on Facebook. Girls, in particular, seemed to be always posing — in some cases vamping — for the camera: hair swept back, hand on hip, dressed just so. In at least a few instances, they looked as if they were auditioning for a Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, clad in bikinis that left little to the imagination.

Creating a persona via Facebook is nothing new. Kids have been doing this since the site was first launched eight years ago (and even before that with MySpace and LiveJournal). By carefully selecting their own profile pictures, making public comments, and curating the photos they post, younger teenagers have become quite adept at managing their image.

11 ways to prevent Facebook stalking

It's not just kids who have to protect themselves from abuse on Facebook and MySpace. These rules are just as crucial for adults. the last thing you want in your life is a stalker. Liesl Muller, a social media consultant, offers the following advice about safe social media use:

It is very important to keep your passwords safe and not to share them with anyone.

Don’t befriend just anyone. A rule of thumb is to only befriend people you know in real life. Use Facebook as an extension of your existing circle of friends.

What you share electronically stays in cyberspace forever, therefore don’t share or post anything you will not feel comfortable with. Ask yourself: will you be comfortable if your headmaster or a potential employer reads it? And potential employers do look at your Facebook page.

Setting People Free

Welcome him as you would welcome me. If he has done you any wrong or owes you anything, charge it to me. —Philemon 17-18

The ministry of emancipation is what Jesus and the Holy Spirit are all about. The problem is, we want to control things. I doubt there is a much greater sin than deliberately leaving a person in the bondage of guilt when it lies within our power to emancipate that person.

Emancipating another person requires several steps. We must:

* Forgive that person totally by refusing to tell what we know.

* Keep the person from feeling intimidated.

* Enable the person to forgive himself or herself.

* Let the person save face.

Postpartum Depression A Personal Account

by Michal Finkelstein It was as if I were being buried alive, sinking in quicksand, unable to find my way out. That's how I felt after the birth of my sixth child. I was irritable; I cried; I was exhausted, yet had trouble sleeping. Getting through each day seemed nearly impossible. My own children avoided me; my husband tiptoed around me. I was convinced that my family and the world would be better off without me.

Will we be able to see and know our friends and family members in Heaven?

Many people say that the first thing they want to do when they arrive in heaven is see all their friends and loved ones who have passed on before them. 

In eternity, there will be plenty of time to see, know, and spend time with our friends and family members. However, that will not be our primary focus in heaven. We will be far more occupied with worshipping God and enjoying the wonders of heaven. 

Our reunions with loved ones are more likely to be filled with recounting the grace and glory of God in our lives, His wondrous love, and His mighty works. We will rejoice all the more because we can praise and worship the Lord in the company of other believers, especially those we loved on earth.

What does the Bible say about whether we will be able to recognize people in the afterlife? King Saul recognized Samuel when the witch of Endor summoned Samuel from the realm of the dead (1 Samuel 28:8-17). 

Men of the Bible - Abram, Abraham

Abram, Abraham [Ā'brăm, Ā'brăhăm] — the father of a multitude. The original name of the youngest son of Terah was Abram, meaning “father of height.” Abraham was given to him when the promise of a numerous progeny was renewed to him by God (Gen. 11:26; 17:5, 9).

The Man Who Was God’s Friend

Abraham’s place in the Bible’s portrait gallery is altogether unique and unapproachable. He stands out as a landmark in the spiritual history of the world. Chosen of God to become the father of a new spiritual race, the file leader of a mighty host, the revelation of God found in him one of its most important epochs. In himself, there was not much to make him worthy of such a distinction. His choice was all of grace.

Abraham’s life is given us in detail, and we know him as we know few men of the Bible. He was from the great and populous city of Ur, and therefore a Gentile although he became the first Hebrew. He was a rough, simple, venerable Bedouin-like sheep master. He uttered no prophecy, wrote no book, sang no song, gave no laws. Yet in the long list of Bible saints he alone is spoken of as “the father of the faithful” and as “the friend of God” (Isa. 41:8). Let us briefly sketch his story and character.

I. He was born in Ur of the Chaldees, of parents who were heathen. Little is known of him until he was seventy years old, a striking proof that he had yielded himself to God before he left his heathen home for the far-off land of Canaan.

II. He received a distinct revelation from God, and of God, but we are not told how and when. This, however, we do know: He gave up a certainty for an uncertainty and went out not knowing whither he went. Willingly he surrendered the seen for the unseen.

III. He was taught the lesson of patience, of waiting upon the Eternal God. It was many years before the promise of God was fulfilled to him—promises three in number—of a country , Canaan; of posterity, as the stars of heaven; of a spiritual seed, through whom all the families of the earth would be blessed.

IV. He believed as he waited. His soul fed upon the promises of God. He believed God in the face of long delay and also amid difficulties that seemed insuperable. This is why he is called “the father of all them that believe.”

V. He was renowned for his active, working, living faith (Gen. 15:6). Abraham believed in God and it was counted to him for righteousness.

VI. He was subject to failures. His character, like the sun, had its spots. Abraham’s conduct to Hagar on two occasions, in sending her away, is painful to remember. Then his departure from Canaan into Egypt when the famine was on was surely not an act of faith. The falsehood which on two occasions he told with regard to Sarah his wife gives us a glimpse into a natural character somewhat cowardly, deceitful and distrustful (Gen. 12:19; 20:2).

VII. He was called to offer up special sacrifices. The first is fully described in Genesis fifteen, where the five victims offered in sacrifice to God were symbolic and typical of the whole Mosaic economy to come. Then we have the offering up of Isaac, an act of faith on Abraham’s part and yet a trial of faith (Gen. 22 ). What a demand God made! But Abraham did not withhold his only son of promise. What God wanted was Abraham’s heart, not Isaac’s life. So when the knife was raised to slay Isaac, a provided substitute appeared. After this sacrifice Abraham received the testimony that he had pleased God.

The Bible offers us many types of Christ, Isaac being one of the chiefest, but Abraham is the only type in Scripture of God the Father. Abraham so loved God as to give up his only son, and centuries before Christ was born entered into the inner heart of John 3:16 . After serving God faithfully, Abraham died when 175 years of age.

There are many profitable lessons to be gleaned from the biography of this notable man of God:

Faith has always trials. Being a Christian does not mean that trial is impossible or unnecessary. The greater the faith, the greater the trial.

Faith shines through the cloud. How the patience and meekness of Jesus are manifest through His trials! Take away Abraham’s trials and where is his faith? Faith must be tried, in order that faith may live.

Faith in spite of trial glorifies God . Abraham’s story is written in tears and blood, but how God was glorified by his trials of faith! Abraham’s obedience of faith earned him the honor, “Abraham My friend!” Truly, there is no greater rank or greater honor than to be described thus. Yet such is our privilege if ours is the obedience of faith, for did not Jesus say, “I have called you friends”? He also said, “Ye are my friends if ye do whatsoever I command you.”

from All the Men of the Bible
by Herbert Lockyer

http://view.lists.biblegateway.com/?j=fe571678726102797413&m=fe621570756203757117&ls=fdc91571706407757510757163&l

Birthday Bible Verse Bible Scriptures For Birthday Wishes

A birthday Bible verse can be used for a one year old, a two year old, a three year old, for kids all ages up to 18 year olds, those turning 21 years old, right up to mom, dad, uncle, aunt, grandfather,grandmother, baby-sitter, neighbor, friends, best friends... and you can use these verses anyplace and remember:

Birthdays have NO rules!

To bless your loved ones and to add that special personal touch, use your verses in birthday greeting cards, on gift tags, on bookmarks, in speeches, toasts and all happy birthday celebrations! Find some inspiration and tips from this article: Birthday Card Messages. 

When you use a birthday Bible verse, you will:

• uplift
• honor
• bless
• encourage and
• motivate

the person celebrating his/her birthday.

Birthday Bible Verse For A Child

Children are influencable and persuadable, but children also have the ability to trust and praise God without doubts or reservations.

Therefore use these Bible verses to encourage and motivate the child having his/her birthday. Include these verses in your Birthday card or as part of your Birthday speech to fuel the Christian lives of our children.

Psalm 119:9&10

"How can
a young boy
(or girl)
cleanse his way?
By taking heed
according to your word.

With my whole heart
I have sought You;
Oh, let me not wander
from Your commandment!"

Psalm 8:1&2
"O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!
You have set your glory above the heavens.

From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise because of your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger."

Deut 5:16

"Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you."

Birthday Bible Verse For A Teenager

Theses Bible verses can be included in your Birthday card or speech to encourage and motivate a teenager. Teens need lots of uncondional love and encouragement. They sometimes are "on a planet of their own" and tend to hide behind excuses to live life to the fullest. They also feel left out so easily. Fuel their Christian lives with these verses. Remind them in this way that they have an important role to play in society.

1 Timothy 4:12

"Let not despise your youth,
but be an example
to the believers
in word,
in conduct,
in love,
in spirit,
in faith,
in purity."

Psalm 139:7-10

"Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast."

Birthday Bible Verse For A Young Man

Young men need encouragement and motivation to stand strong in the name of the Lord. The world demands from young people to live a life which is not always pleasing to God. As a Birthday is a day of blessing and honor, add these verses to your birthday wish to fuel the Christian lives of young men.

Titus 2:6-8

"Likewise, exhort the young men to be sober-minded, in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine showing integrity, reverance, incorruptability!"

Psalm 1:1-3

"Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not whither. Whatever he does prospers."

Prov 29:3

"A man who loves wisdom brings joy to his father."

Prov 10:1

"A wise son brings joy to his father."

Birthday Bible Verse For A Man

Birthday Bible Verse for a man:
(to motivate, bless and honor)

James 1:12

"Blessed is the man who endures temptation: for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised tothose who love Him."

Psalm34:8

"Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good; Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!"
(The word "taste" comes from the Greek word ta'am and it means to eat, discern, perceive and evaluate, then choose and delight in the good things of the Lord.)

Birthday Bible Verse For A Man With Children

Use these Bible verses to motivate, bless and honor a man with children on his birthday. These verses will let him know that he is appreciated and the responsibility he shows towards his family is not going unnoticed by God.

Psalm 103:13

"As a father pities his children, So the Lord pities those who fear Him."

1 Tim 3:4

"He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect."

Deut 1:30&31

" The Lord your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes, and in the desert. There you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went well until you reached this place."

Prov 23:24

"The father of a righteous man has great joy; he who has a wise son delights in him."

Birthday Bible Verse For A Woman Who Truly Loves God

The work a woman does, especially a woman at home with her children, so often goes unnoticed and she can feel so easily not appreciated enough for the vital role she plays.

Use these Birthday Bible Verses to uplift, encourage, honor and give hope to such women of God.

Jeremiah 29:11-13

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Then you will call upon Me, and I will listen to you.
And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart."

Romans 8:28

"And we know all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."

Psalm 90:17

"May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us - yes, establish the work of our hands."

Birthday Bible Verse for an elderly person:

(to bless, appreciate and honor)

Job 12:12 "Wisdom is with aged men, And with length of days, understanding."

Psalm 92:12-14 "The righteous shall flourish like a palm tree, He shall grow like a cedar in Lebanon. Those who are planted in the house of the Lord shall flourish in the courts of our God. They shall still bear fruit in old age; They shall be fresh and flourishing."

Birthday Bible Verse For A Best Friend

Bless and honor your best friend with these Bible scriptures.

John 15:13

"Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends."

Prov 17:17a

"A friend loves at all times."

Prov 18:24

"A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

Birthday Bible Verses For A Hardworking Person

These Bible verses can be used to uplift, encourage and motivate hard working persons on their birthdays.

Ecclesiastes 5:18-20

"Here is what I have seen: It is good and fitting for one to eat and drink, and to enjoy the good of all his labour in which he toils under the sun all the days of his life which God gives him; for it is his heritage.

As for every man (woman) to whom God has given riches and wealth, and given him power to eat of it, to receive his heritage and rejoice in his labor - this is the gift of God.
For he will not dwell unduly on the days of his life, because God keeps him busy with the joy of his heart."

We trust that you have found the scripture that you were looking for. We'll add Bible scriptures for birthday wishes on a regular basis, so be sure to check back often!

http://www.fueling-christian-life.com/birthday-Bible-verse.html

Five Friends Every Mommy Needs Because friends are what keep mothers sane.

By Olivia Yao, Three Moons | Yahoo! SHE 


Have you noticed that ever since you became a mommy, almost everything about your life has changed? You’re probably rolling your eyes and saying “Well, duh, of course it has. Does that even have to be pointed out?” But I’m not talking about the obvious changes. I’m talking about the little ones that creep up on you and throw you for a loop because you never expected them to happen! One of those changes is your choice in friends. Because no matter what you say, your total revamp of lifestyle affects who you hang out with and who you turn to.

1. The Mommy Friend whose child is about the age of yours

She’s the friend who understands what you’re going through because she’s living the exact same thing you are. Your conversations range from potty training to overly competitive moms to whether today is a good eating day or not. You share tips, ideas, frustrations, and milestones, and are always ready for a play date or even just a chat over coffee to escape the madness of home. She’s on your speed dial or phone’s list of favorites because when you need to vent about how you’re about to lose your cool, you know she will talk you through it and tell you about the time you helped her calm down when it was her toddler throwing the tantrum.

2. The single or childless girlfriend

Remember how carefree you used to feel before you decided to turn your life over to an overly demanding preschooler? Hanging out with your single girlfriend will show you there is more to life than diapers and baby wipes. At first, you may envy her lifestyle and long for the days when you could just fly off to Boracay at a moment’s notice, but eventually, you’ll realize that just hanging out with her and hearing about a life totally different from your own can be loads of fun. She not only takes your mind off your nursery-rhyme singing existence but reassures you that there’s more to you than just being a mommy.

3. The friend who has known you forever

She’s probably the one you call your best friend. No matter where your life leads, you know she will be by your side, rooting for you, telling you like it is, and reminding you how it was. She’s the friend who knows you in and out and sometimes even better than you know yourself. She knew you even before you became a mom and will remind you that you have goals for yourself as well, not just your current goal of getting your toddler into the best preschool possible. She is the friend you turn to when you need someone to give you the perspective you need because she’s been there through every phase of your life—and will continue to be long after your kids move out and start having babies of their own.

4. The shopping or travel buddy

This is the friend who is always bugging you to get away and take a break, and is willing to go on that break with you. She will take you shopping (and not for baby clothes or groceries, please!), to the salon, or on a mini break to the beach. She will also badger you to go on a vacation with your family. She’ll bring her kids and you’ll bring yours, and you’ll remember that getting away—even if it causes even more madness—is always fun and creates wonderful memories you’ll be talking about for years.

5. Your mom

Yes, you read that right. Never have I appreciated my mother more than when I became a mom myself. The overpowering love I feel for my daughter made me realize that my mom probably feels that way for me too—something I never fully understood before. Plus, your mom is the best person to turn to when you don’t understand what’s going on with your body, your child, or your marriage. She most probably went through all of that and survived. Even when it comes to small things like what to give your child’s preschool classmates, she’s the person to call. Never before has your connection been stronger, and never before have you appreciated her so much.

Who are your top five friends?
Olivia has been writing ever since she can remember. She has written for health, teen, parenting, and children's magazines. Her latest endeavor is being a mom to her three-year-old daughter—her toughest assignment yet. Swap stories with her at threeolivias@yahoo.com.


http://ph.she.yahoo.com/five-friends-every-mommy-needs.html;

What do you do when a friend disappoints you?

By Olivia Yao, Three Moons | Yahoo! SHE

Sometimes it can come as a shock when a friend lets you down. You begin to question your entire relationship, you start to wonder if she really was your friend to begin with, and you look back on the history of your friendship and hyper-analyze what went wrong.

When an officemate or group mate lets you down, it is frustrating and maybe even infuriating, but when it’s a friend—someone you are so used to confiding in, someone you feel so safe with—it feels like a deception. The wounds cut deep and you don’t know how you’re going to handle it. At the same time, you don’t know how your friendship will weather the storm.

Thinkstock Photo

What you can do

1. Let yourself be angry.
Sure people will tell you to be brave, to be strong, and not to be angry, but imagine bottling up all those negative emotions and not letting them out? All the repression will one day make you explode, giving you a headache, or worse, a heart attack! Or you might one day be calmly going about your business when something takes you by surprise, making you snap. You wouldn’t want that to happen, would you? So let your anger out the safest way you know how—write and tear up the pages afterwards, take a kickboxing class, go swimming, running, or punch your pillows. Just make sure you don’t hurt yourself or anybody else in the process.

2. Reflect on what happened and why.
Former guidance counselor Nympha Banzon suggests thinking about the situation after you have let off steam. It’s possible that you also played a role in this. Try to see what happened from a neutral perspective. It might help if you write about how you feel, then try taking your feelings out of the equation and be as objective as possible.

3. Put yourself in your friend’s shoes.
Banzon says that if you try to see what happened from your friend’s perspective, you may be able to understand her and eventually, even forgive her. If you are really good friends, you might not even find this difficult. Don’t let your feelings cloud your judgment at this point.

4. Make a list of all the reasons why you love your friend
Yes, this must be the hardest thing to do at this point, but remember that you have already let all your anger out. So you should be able to recall why she was your friend in the first place. This will make it easier for you to forgive her and rebuild your ties.

5. Talk to your friend.
Good friends are hard to come by, and if you can get past this disappointment, it could actually make your friendship stronger. But first, you have to get the unpleasantness out of the way and talk to each other. Banzon says to explain how you feel and why you are disappointed and hurt. When you talk, remember not to assign blame. At the same time, it would be a good idea to approach the situation by saying how you feel instead of dwelling on what she did. For example, you can say, “I felt bad when…” instead of “You hurt me when…”

6. Watch your reactions.
Remember that you’re in a very sensitive place right now and your friend probably is too. If both of you want to work it out, you’re well on your way to patching things up. But remember to also watch what you say. If you think it won’t improve matters, or if it will hurt her even more, hold your tongue. Only speak up if it will help your friend and your circumstances.

7. Move on.
According to Banzon, this is the last step you must take. Get past the hurt and the pain and get on with your life. If you’ve fixed things with your friend, good! If you can’t seem to see eye to eye, then maybe it’s time to let go. Just don’t hold a grudge because that would hurt you more than it hurts your object of hatred. Who knows? Maybe all you need is time to make everything right again.

http://ph.she.yahoo.com/what-do-you-do-when-a-friend-disappoints-you-.html;