Whether a six-year-old is tapping on Grover in “The Monster at the End of This Book” on an iPad, or a teen is blowing through “The Hunger Games” on a Kindle Fire, some parents don’t realize that many devices, marketed for reading, music listening or gaming, also provide Internet access — and sometimes a back-door to unwanted content.
When I was interviewing parents for “So How Do We Talk About This?”many said they had carefully set up parental controls on a home computer. But when I asked about the full range devices in their home like Wiis, PSPs, Nooks, and iPod Touches — all of which can access the Web—few of the parents had closely considered trying to extend those controls.
Kids access the Web in lots of ways beyond the family computer. A recent report from the Pew Research Center, focused on teens shows that nearly half have accessed the Web on a smartphone in the last 30 days—and a small but measurable number did so using a borrowed phone. So, if your family hopes to filter unwanted Internet content, where do you start without going insane?
After talking to software experts, sex educators and a whole lot of overwhelmed parents, we compiled a five-step guide to thinking through your own family’s approach to managing explicit online content at home, on your phone and anywhere else the Internet travels.
1. Take stock of which of devices in your home are Internet-capable.
2. Consider filtering your whole network, not just a single computer or device.
Sure, you could run down the parental control settings on every PSP, iPod and DVD player in your house, as Lifehacker helpfully documents here, but what if you just want to flip a switch and be done with it?
Consider filtering your entire network at once — which is kind of like placing a customs agent at the border, stopping bad stuff at the point of entry (your home), rather than its destination (your smartphone). One of the most highly rated network filters is OpenDNS. As the Times’s personal technology columnist, David Pogue wrote in 2010, OpenDNS allows users to block categories of content — like “pornography,” “gambling” or “instant messaging.” Why does it work so well? David Pogue explains:
“How can OpenDNS possibly track every Web site on earth and put it into the right 57 categories? It doesn’t. Its fans do. Anyone can submit a site to the master database of categorized sites, whereupon other people vote on its placement. This Wikipedia-style crowdsourcing is ingenious, and, as far as my testing was concerned, bulletproof.”
Parents can set the network filter at several levels, or block entire categories of content:
3. Don’t forget that smartphone, or the neighbor’s open WiFi connection.
We don’t just live in an age awash in devices, but networks, too. Smartphones and some tablets can connect to the Internet on cellular phone networks, and no amount of filtering on your home network can batten down another person’s open WiFi connection. One option for mobile devices is to install a filtered mobile Web browser, such as Mobicip, to replace the standard Web browser on those devices, and works anywhere you take them, including iPod Touches, iPads, iPhones as well as PCs, and Linux and Android-based devices.
4. Plan to negotiate wider access as your kids get older.
Once your kids graduate from Club Penguin and Duck Duck Moose apps, the easier task of managing young kids’ online experiences may give way to a gentle, ceaseless whine, as their desires to roam the Web freely collide with your filter. Some families use filtering software as a conversation-starter, using custom “Page Blocked” messages to say, “hey kiddo, come talk to mom or dad if you want to see this page.”
A sample page from one OpenDNS user shows the family cat. Other families use the custom message to encourage kids to talk to their parents about which sites are prohibited, and why.
“It’s sort of like teaching them how to drive,” said Suren Ramasubbu, the founder and C.E.O. of Mobicip, “You let them browse and they run into content that’s blocked and they come and talk to you.” Then, he says, you can slowly open up access settings.
(Keep in mind that many major sites like Facebook and YouTube prohibit access by kids under the age of 13. Tumblr’s Terms of Service even go so far as to address pre-teens in their own language: “If you’re younger than 13, don’t use Tumblr. Ask your parents for an Xbox or try books.”)
5. You still have to talk to your kids.
Filters and blocking software might seem like a warm blanket of security for parents who are nervous about talking to a nine-year-old about a video of a sex act. But even companies that sell filtering software agree that there are always loopholes in any technical solution (if nothing else, there are those borrowed phones).
“Have the blocker, but the blocker without an explanation of why the blocker is there, is just an enticement,” says Elizabeth Schroeder, the executive director of Answer — a sex education resource based out of Rutgers University. A conversation, she says, is still necessary. For a set of real-world examples of how parents have talked to their kids about exposure to explicit online content such as pornography, and advice from Ms. Schroeder and others, see the Times’s special resource page: How to Talk With Your Kids about Online Pornography.
What have you done to control the Internet content that comes into your home, and how? Has your strategy worked — or have your kids found ways around your limits? Do you think it’s possible to completely monitor what comes in, and what stays out?
Correction This post originally overstated the number of teens who accessed the web on a smartphone in the past 30 days via a borrowed phone. According to the Pew researchers, it is “a small but measurable number,” not half.
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