ALYSSA SHULL BeyonceFor many girls, the Super Bowl performances on Sunday were a celebration of femininity and girl power. Talented artists like Beyoncé Knowles, Kelly Rowland, Michelle Williams, Alicia Keys and Jennifer Hudson sang and danced on the media’s largest stage of the year: The Super Bowl. But imagine with me for a moment if all of this star power, talent, femininity and glamour was used to exalt the name of Jesus.
How amazing would that be?
I want to show you the difference between two performers, Jennifer Hudson and Beyoncé. They had the same audience, same platform, yet completely different showmanship and performances.
Femininity is a gift God has designed women with that contrasts the design of men. There are differences in gender that are very distinct and those differences play a role in marriage.
I grew up with a twin brother as well as a rough-edged family environment. We played outside all of the time, we camped, fished, and enjoyed getting dirty. I was a “Tom-Boy” – embracing a tough side that had nothing to do with make-up, accessories, or other girly things.
A little girl named Jessica could not remember a time when she did not have crushes on female teachers. She hid her feelings behind a tough, sarcastic persona. When she hit adolescence, Jessica insisted on being called “Jess,” cut her hair short, and hid her developing body under layers of boys’ clothing.
As Dr. Joseph Nicolosi writes in his book, A Parent’s Guide to Preventing Homosexuality, Jessica was contemptuous of her mother, a delicate, feminine woman subject to depression. Jessica viewed her mother as weak, and had no intention of growing up to be like her.
But Jessica sincerely wanted to understand why she was so conflicted about accepting her gender, and began therapy with Nicolosi. Jessica eventually told him that for years, she had been molested by an uncle.
A little boy I’ll call “Stevie” was a beautiful, healthy child. But by age five, his parents suspected something was wrong. Stevie loved Barbie dolls, the color pink, and dancing around like a ballerina.
His parents took Stevie to see Dr. Joseph Nicolosi, a psychologist who specializes in gender disorders. Nicolosi listened as they described their son’s fascination with feminine activities, which had begun when he was three. Nicolosi confirmed that Stevie was a “prehomosexual male.” Without intervention, Nicolosi said, Stevie had a 75-percent chance of growing up homosexual, bisexual, or transgender.
In his book, A Parent’s Guide to Preventing Homosexuality, Nicolosi describes what had likely led to Stevie’s preoccupation with feminine things. Nicolosi explains that as infants, boys and girls alike are emotionally attached to their mothers. It’s normal for girls to continue developing their feminine identity through their relationship with their mothers. But boys must dis-identify from their mothers and begin to identify with their fathers. Clearly, Stevie had not begun to do this; he continued to identify with his mother.
When I remember the mother of my childhood, I remember her washing the dishes, scrubbing the floor, or checking and doubling-checking the gas burners to make sure they were completely off, and we wouldn't all be gassed in our sleep. She had a special chant she used as she checked the burners. Standing with her hands on her hips and one finger outstretched, she began, "Silver. One. Two. Three. Off." And again, "Silver. One. Two. Three. Off." If she was interrupted, she would begin again. "Silver. One. Two. Three. Off." But even if she wasn't interrupted, she would begin again. Leaving the house was an anxiety-ridden process of checking, and double checking, to make sure there would be a house to return to. Needless to say, my mother was always late.
Her rules were all that stood between her and the abyss of anxietyYears later, as an adult, I would begin to understand her anxiety about being gassed as an inter-generational inheritance from my grandmother's adolescence interred in the concentration camps. But as a child I couldn't begin to make the connection between our enormous, white, antique gas oven, and my silent, sad, and obese Yiddish-speaking grandmother, who shopped and cooked in preparation for the great famine that never arrived.
Husbands desire to be great lovers with a truly skillful and passionate sex life. What happens that so many men fall short of this grand goal? Here are two of the most common skill deficits that sabotage these lofty dreams: (1) Men don't truly understand women; and (2) Men don't realize that they don't truly understand women.
These seven keys will unlock passion in your marriage.
Difficulties in a couple’s sex life often reflect deeper issues in their relationship. by Dave Boehi “I wish we would enjoy each other in bed more often, but my spouse rarely wants to make love. We have almost no sex life.”
When you just read that quote, did you assume that it was made by a man, or a woman? Conventional wisdom holds that husbands generally desire to have sex in their marriage more often than wives. But it appears that a growing number of marriages are experiencing the opposite problem, with wives frustrated that their husbands are uninterested in sexual relations.
