Living in the Present

Exodus 16:11-21

Recommended Reading: Deuteronomy 8:16-18; Matthew 6:31-34; John 6:48-51

When you were a kid, did you ever wish you could see into the future? Most kids wonder what will happen to them as the years pass by and they grow older. Where will they go to school? Will they go to college? What about a career? Will they get married and have a family?

This kind of thinking doesn't end when a person reaches adulthood. Singles wonder whether there's a spouse for them out there somewhere. Parents dream about what their kids will grow up to be. College freshmen wonder about their eventual career path; older workers prepare for-or worry about-their retirement years.

Human nature compels us to look ahead with wonder. Dreams of the future make the drudgery of work today worthwhile. Anticipation of future events gets us up in the morning and forces us to plan for tomorrow. It's what separates a man from his best friend, his dog.

The Best Sex Ever

New Man - Sexual Purity

Research refutes the media and confirms the Bible.

Where is the best place to have sex? Research reveals an unlikely answer. Sex is most satisfying, both physically and emotionally, when confined to the safe harbor of marriage.

The most authoritative research ever done on sexuality in America was conducted a few years ago at the University of Chicago. This study, the National Health and Social Life Survey (NHSLS), came to an interesting conclusion: "The public image of sex in America bears virtually no relationship to the truth." In fact, the study explains, "In real life, the unheralded, seldom discussed world of married sex is actually the one that satisfies people the most."

This study found that, of all sexually active people, married people are significantly more likely to say their sex lives make them feel "satisfied," "loved," "thrilled" and "wanted." The faithfully married are also least likely to report sex making them feel "sad," "anxious or worried," "scared or afraid," or "guilty."

The researchers own interpretation of this data, as reported in U.S. News & World Report, is that "the singles scene may not be as carefree and fulfilling as it's cracked up to be...sex within the security of marriage is less problematic."

Source: Why Marriage Matters: Reasons to Believe in Marriage in Postmodern Society (Pinon Press), by Glenn Stanton.

http://www.charismamag.com/index.php/new-man/sexual-purity/24832-the-best-sex-ever

Sex and the Cancer Patient

Married or single, straight or gay, cancer patients face special relationship issues

From Marc Lallanilla

Updated September 18, 2008

About.com Health's Disease and Condition content is reviewed by our Medical Review Board

(LifeWire) - A diagnosis of cancer can add a complex new dimension to the sexual side of human relationships. From the emotional impact of diagnosis to the side effects of treatment, cancer affects sex in a myriad ways. According to the National Cancer Institute (NCI), there are a number of sexuality issues that concern cancer patients: 

Infertility resulting from treatment
Erectile dysfunction
Pain during penetration
Body image
Early menopause
Depression and anxiety
Loss of interest in sex

“It's important to realize how common sexual problems are after cancer treatment,” says Leslie R. Schover, clinical psychologist and professor of behavioral science at the University of Texas M.D. Anderson Cancer Center in Houston.

“At least half of [cancer] patients have some kind of sexual problem,” she says. “They don't tend to go away unless people do something about it.”

Certain cancers, such as prostate, breast, bladder and colorectal, are more often accompanied by sexual problems, and many treatments present their own difficulties — radiation, for example, can damage tissue in sensitive parts of the body.

“With women, radiation in the pelvic region can destroy ovarian function and result in scar tissue,” says Schover. “In men, radiation can be destructive, especially for prostate cancer.”

Couples and Cancer

Married couples whose relationship is strong can usually weather the storms of cancer diagnosis and treatment, notes Schover, who is also the author of Sexuality and Fertility after Cancer. “There is no evidence that there's an increase in the divorce rate after cancer,” she says. “A lot of couples say that the cancer experience made them feel closer.”

Young, single cancer patients, however, face the challenge of finding a partner and planning a family while confronting the after-effects of illness, including battered body image, infertility and mood disorders. In fact, research has shown that anxiety and depression are more common among young adults and unmarried patients. "Anyone who has cancer at a younger age is much more distressed about it,” Schover says.

Gays and lesbians may face discrimination from health care providers. "It's important to remember that not everyone with cancer is heterosexual, and gay people with cancer may have to face rude and insensitive [professional] treatment,” Schover says. “They need to be strong and get support from friends and family.”

And sexual minorities aren’t alone; a 2007 study in Australia found that patients sought information on sexual intimacy but were often frustrated by health professionals’ focus on survival, with less regard for patients' personal relationships or quality of life.

Getting Help

Experts recommend cancer patients seek professional treatment for sexual issues, either with a psychologist or a sex therapist. “What's really needed is an approach offering both counseling and medical treatment,” says Schover, who adds that some patients may avoid getting the help they need due to the stigma that surrounds sexual counseling.

There are a number of medical advances available for patients whose sex lives may be suffering as a result of cancer. Medication, surgery and devices, such as penile implants, can help with erectile dysfunction; hormones, lubricants and vaginal dilators can ease painful intercourse. Many young cancer patients today are preserving their fertility by freezing sperm and, in a newer, still-experimental process, even their eggs.

Patients in a relationship are encouraged to talk with their partner about issues that arise, either with or without a therapist. The NCI recommends couples discuss their concerns and their feelings about the current state of their sex life, and work together to find ways to feel better about sexual activity.

Single cancer patients need to decide when, or if, to tell someone they’re dating about their cancer status. Most experts advise waiting; get to know the person before discussing sensitive issues, such as cancer and sexuality.

In addition to recommending dating sites, such as CancerMatch.com and Prescription4Love.com, Schover also offers the following counsel for those in the dating pool: “Remember that anyone who would reject you because you are a cancer survivor probably isn't someone you'd want to spend a lifetime with. It separates the sheep from the goats.”

Sources:

Leslie R. Schover, M.D. Anderson Cancer Center. Telephone interview, 8 Aug 2008.
"Facing Forward: Life After Cancer Treatment." 01 Nov 2006. Cancer.gov. National Cancer Institute. 6 Aug 2008 <http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/life-after-treatment/page5>.
Hordern, Amanda J., and Annette F. Street "Communicating About Patient Sexuality and Intimacy After Cancer: Mismatched Expectations and Unmet Needs." Medical Journal of Australia. 186 (2007): 224-227.
Noyes R. Jr., R.G. Kathol, P. Debelius-Enemark, J. Williams, A. Mutgi, M.T. Suelzer, and G.H. Clamon. "Distress Associated with Cancer as Measured by the Illness Distress Scale." Psychosomatics. 31:3(1990): 321-30. <http://psy.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/reprint/31/3/321>.

LifeWire, a part of The New York Times Company, provides original and syndicated online lifestyle content. Marc Lallanilla is a New York–based freelance writer and editor. He has written extensively on health, science, the environment, design, architecture, business, lifestyle and travel.

http://cancer.about.com/lw/Health-Medicine/Conditions-and-diseases/Sex-and-the-Cancer-Patient.htm

Christian and Single? Browse Free!

     Christian and Single? Browse Free!

http://www.christianmingle.com/frsplash.html?referrer=http://www.crosswalk.com/church/worship/&prm=

Finance Tips For Single Women

By Janet Fowler | Investopedia

The way most people live these days is drastically different than in generations past. People are generally waiting until much later in life to marry and have families. Considering this, many women will be single for at least part of their adult lives. Also considering the current rates of divorce, there is a reasonable likelihood that many women will find themselves single again at some stage after marrying. Those time-honored gender roles tend to suggest that most women are not great at putting their own needs first, though when it comes to personal finances, women must consider their own needs and wants in order to secure their financial future.

Budget First and foremost, build yourself a solid budget and stick to it. This is just good sense for absolutely everyone – single, married or divorced. Examine your monthly expenses, remembering to include everything from housing costs, utilities, groceries, car payments, gasoline, insurance and esthetics. Do the same for your income. Subtract your expenses from your income, and see what you've got leftover. You can divide the remainder up based on what you'd like to save and what you'd like to budget toward discretionary spending. Don't forget to factor in money towards repayment of credit card debt, student loans or any other debts you may have. You'll want to get debts paid off as quickly as you can in order to save yourself those pesky interest costs. You should also examine methods for reducing costs, like eating meals at home or reducing the amount you spend on entertainment expenses.

Avoid Giving in to ImpulseIt's probably true that most women love to shop. It can be hard to avoid giving in to impulse when you find a great deal on a pair of cute shoes or a new outfit. It's also important to avoid emotional spending. Learning to avoid unnecessary expenditures can really help to improve your financial situation – especially when you've got other expenses that are more urgent, or when giving in means you have to borrow money on your credit card. Try to spend only what you've allotted to yourself for discretionary spending, or budget for larger items like a big holiday or a car over longer periods of time. If you're unsure if you're being impulsive or giving in to emotional spending, try waiting a day or two before making up your mind about an item you're considering buying. If you've changed your mind or forgotten all about the item before the time period is up, you've made a wise choice in walking away.

Save for Rainy DaysIt's an unfortunate fact of life, but we can all expect things to go wrong on occasion. Keeping some money stashed away for those rainy days will help you to afford those unexpected expenses when they do come up. Think of vehicle or home repairs, or an unexpected illness that could keep you away from work for a long period of time. No one wants to worry about money in times of distress, so having a rainy day fund will help you to get over the hurdles life throws at you. Even if you're only able to set aside $25 a week, it'll add up over time. Get yourself a high-interest savings account to stash away your cash. You can then transfer your savings into other forms of investments with even higher interest rates once you've got a healthy stockpile. Just remember to set realistic expectations for yourself. Don't save more than you can realistically afford, but don't underestimate the importance of saving either.

Buy a HomePurchasing a home is a big step for anyone, whether you're doing it on your own or as a couple. Purchasing a home is generally a solid investment that will reward you in the future, especially since renting is essentially the same as giving your money away to someone else. As a single woman, you'll need to ask yourself a number of questions before buying. Can you afford this home on a single income? Is the area safe for a single person to live in? Will you need roommates to help pay the mortgage? What will you do if you marry or have a family? Make a list of what you want and understand what you can afford before you contact a realtor and start looking at what's out there. A condominium or town house can be a great option for single people, especially since they're generally smaller and less expensive than stand-alone houses. Keep in mind that you don't need to commit to living in your first home for the rest of your life. As you further establish yourself financially or as your needs change, you can move on to bigger and better. The important part of buying your first home is establishing yourself in the market and starting to build equity.

Consider Your Retirement PlansEven if retirement seems like eons away, you'll want to start thinking about it as early as possible. Financial security isn't only about achieving your short-term goals; you've got to consider your long-term goals as well. Even if you do intend to marry, you'll need to ensure you can take care of yourself in your retirement because statistically women tend to live longer than men. Build your budget so you can set aside some money. You can use monthly deductions or make yearly lump sum contributions to a retirement savings plan.

Don't be Afraid to InvestSo you've managed to budget and save your money. Now you've got a healthy stockpile of cash to get you through those rainy days. What should you do with all that extra cash? Though investing may seem like a scary thing, have faith in yourself and believe that you can learn the ins and outs of the finance world. You can always enlist the help of an investment manager or finance expert to guide you along the way. One of the biggest benefits of investing is the opportunity to earn extra money on your initial investment, referred to as return on investment. It may take a little courage on your part, but the payoff could be huge. Do some research and only take on as much risk as you feel comfortable with.

Invest in YourselfAlways keep in mind that you've got to enjoy life too, so don't completely give up on spoiling yourself once in a while. Go on a holiday, to a day spa or treat yourself to something truly special once in a while. View it as an investment in yourself and your own happiness. They key is making it a special treat, not an everyday event. You'll want to ensure that you budget for these occasional indulgences as well. Remember, it's not worth going into debt over a pair of shoes or a holiday.

Before You Walk Down the AisleThough it might be an exciting time when you're considering taking the plunge and getting married, don't forget that you really need to have a serious talk with your new partner about money before you get married. Though this may be an awkward discussion to have, you need to know what that person earns, what debts they owe and what their financial plans are for the future. When you make those vows, you're also agreeing to a financial partnership with your beloved. You will need to know that their goals and spending habits are compatible with yours and that you're not marrying someone who will drain you financially, destroying all the hard work you've done to create a financially secure life for yourself.

The Bottom LineLong gone are the days of considering single women to be spinsters. Women are becoming more and more comfortable in taking control of their own finances, shaping their financial futures and turning their goals into realities. There's no doubt that making big financial decisions independently can be a bit frightening, but there are also a lot of perks. You can enjoy complete control of your own financial situation, without someone else's financial interests impacting your own. Whether you're young and never married or newly single, it's never too late to grasp the reigns and take control of your financial destiny.

http://ph.she.yahoo.com/finance-tips-single-women-184319399.htm

Success Stories

My Story
Jun 26, 2005
by 

What initially started out as something to relieve a little boredom and to have some fun turned into one of the most beautiful experiences, one that I will carry with me forever...

I have met a lot of people in my life, and honestly thought that I would never meet the person who 'completes' me...one almost accepts that this is your life and how it'll always be...

That was until I met the most amazing man on your site, it's still fairly new but I knew from the moment I saw his eyes, (the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen) that he would take me to a place I've longed to be and bring back my smile forgotten...

I now firmly believe that it's only after you stop looking for something, that it'll eventually find you?!?

There aren't words to describe him really... he is someone/something you have to experience to understand... the most intense eyes, beautiful smile, personality like no other, the deepest of souls, a heart you can't help but love yet so mysterious that you keep coming back for more... he is my enigma!?!

Where this road leads, one can't be sure but I know in my heart that it's been worthwhile as my life has been enriched just by knowing him...

In the old end... I'll always be able to look back and smile...

Thank you!!  


Apr 07, 2009
by 


Wow, I never thought I'd be writing one of those cheesy internet dating site success stories, but I'm just so thankful 


I feel I should. 

I met my boyfriend Kevin on this site almost a year ago- I emailed him through the site and got the silliest, greatest


response a few days later. After having dated too many men who mistreated me and never challenged me 


intellectually I'd found the perfect guy. Other dating sites had felt akin to searching for a few gems in a sea of turds, 


but I found Kevin the first night I browsed on here. Thank you!!!

-Hana


http://freethinkermatch.com/index.php?page=showstory&storyid=1