5 shocking sex facts

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Sex can help you give a great speech

Before you get carried away, we are not suggesting you hop into bed with your boss or sleep with the entire audience. However, having sex can help ease those all too familiar and very dreaded pre-speech nerves. This theory was developed by the psychologist Stuart Brody, who asked 22 women and 22 men to keep sex diaries about their bedroom antics. The group of men and women then had to undertake stressful tasks, like public speaking and mental arithmetic tests. Brody found that the couples who had had penetrative sex were less stressed and their blood pressure levels returned to normal at more speed that the others. Sadly though, those who “did it” alone did not reap the calming benefits, so buddy up before your next big speech.

The secrets of our sexess

Here three long-term couples who HAVE made it work tell us how..

10 YEARS

'Kissing and cuddling makes us want each other more'

Therese, 45, and Andrew Sahey, 46, from Teddington, Middx have been married 10 years. Andrew is a hairdresser and Therese a childminder. Therese has two grown-up children.

Therese Says: Intimacy without sex is crucial and it's what makes our sex life so good. After you've been together a while men often stop being touchy-feely with women for anything other than sex. So when a man kisses them they think, "Oh no, here we go."

Andrew has a higher sex drive than me but he will often say: "I want us to kiss and cuddle but that's all" so I don't get jumpy and just enjoy the intimacy.

How to kiss

A lot of people are still virgins when it comes to kissing. A lot of people can kiss but don't know how to kiss properly. Here are the basics to kissing. Once you have mastered kissing then you can try other styles and techniques of kissing.

1. Hygiene - The last thing anyone wants is to be kissed by someone who has yellow teeth or bad breath. Brush your teeth twice a day and floss to get in-between the gaps. Your partner will love to be kissed by you if your mouth is clean and fresh.

2. Get into a comfortable position - You don't want to have to stop a few seconds into kissing because your back is twisted. Sitting comfortable means no back pain and longer kissing.

3. Embrace your partner - But don't squeeze him/her. Cuddling each other so that your faces are touching is perfect. You could cup your partners face gently in your hands.

4. Move your faces closer - Don't bump noses. Both of you must tilt your head slightly to the side so that your nose is touching the side of the other's nose.

5. Kiss your partners lips gentle - Closed lips kissing to start with. Close your eyes and let the warmth of each others lips take over your senses.

6. Get comfortable with simple closed lip - Lip-to-lip kissing before going anywhere else.

7. Lightly brush your tongue across your partners lips - This will entice him/her to open their mouth.

8. Now both of your mouths should be open - Now it is up to you. Move your mouths in time with each other opening them and slightly closing them in rhythm with one another.

9. Whatever you do, don't bite. 

10. Continue kissing - Until you are comfortable with each other's lips.

11. You could of course use a mirror - Which may be a lot easier and a lot less scary then kissing someone for the first time when you don't know how to kiss. 


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My toddler saw me having sex, will she be ok?

Our toddler came into our room while we were having sex. She seems to have forgotten about the incident, but will she be okay?

Submitted by American Baby Team

Don't worry -- the most important thing for any toddler is to feel loved and safe, so if she seems to have forgotten, she's probably fine. If anyone's upset by this experience, it's more likely you than your child. You're clearly still feeling guilty, and it might be worthwhile to figure out why. Think back to your own upbringing and the lessons about sex, love, and marriage that you absorbed -- directly or indirectly -- from your parents. Did your mother swat your father away every time he tried to put an arm around her, or did she and your dad hold hands and giggle at the movies? Was sex something that was talked about or a subject that embarrassed everyone? Whatever adult models for sexual relationships you had as a child are still lurking inside you. Only you can take them out, dust them off, and decide if they're worthy patterns to pass on to your kids.

As for your daughter, there isn't any need to make up stories if your child catches you in the act. Gently tell her that moms and dads need private time to cuddle, and send her on her way after a reminder about knocking if the door is closed. Better yet, invest in a lock for your bedroom to spare yourself from any more embarrassing moments in the future. --Holly Robinson

Originally published in American Baby magazine, December 2005. Updated 2009

Answered by American Baby Team

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