How Normal is Your Marriage Really?

Can't help but wonder if your union is keeping up with the Joneses'? Check out these marriage stats from The Normal Bar: The Surprising Secrets of Happy Couples and What They Reveal About Creating a New Normal in Your Relationship.

By Gena Kaufman

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Is it normal that…I'm not completely honest with him?
Within limits, a few secrets — and even lies — between couples are generally harmless. If you've ever fibbed about those shoes being new ("I've had these forever, I just don't wear them often!") or neglected to tell him that your mom thinks he's a total slob, you're not alone. In America, 43 percent of men and one-third of women have kept major secrets from their partners and approximately three-quarters of people have lied — including those who consider themselves part of a happy couple. As long as you don't take it to extremes — like failing to reveal credit card debt or the fact that you have a monthly lunch-date with your ex — lies that keep the peace and protect feelings are normal.

Making love during pregnancy

You can make love whenever you want to, provided that you don't try to get too athletic and that there are no medical reasons for you to avoid sex. Good sex in pregnancy is not only very enjoyable, but also helps to prepare you for childbirth by keeping your pelvic muscles strong and supple. It helps strengthen your bonds with your partner, too, which will help you cope much better with the stresses of parenthood.

Men dream about sex

Jeanna Bryner, LiveScience Managing Editor


Credit: Phase4Photography | Shutterstock

No surprise here, men are more likely than women to dream about sex. And comparing notes in the morning may not be a turn on for either guys or gals, as women are more likely to have experienced nightmares, according to doctoral research reported in 2009 by psychologist Jennie Parker of the University of the West of England.

5 shocking sex facts

RealBuzz

Sex can help you give a great speech

Before you get carried away, we are not suggesting you hop into bed with your boss or sleep with the entire audience. However, having sex can help ease those all too familiar and very dreaded pre-speech nerves. This theory was developed by the psychologist Stuart Brody, who asked 22 women and 22 men to keep sex diaries about their bedroom antics. The group of men and women then had to undertake stressful tasks, like public speaking and mental arithmetic tests. Brody found that the couples who had had penetrative sex were less stressed and their blood pressure levels returned to normal at more speed that the others. Sadly though, those who “did it” alone did not reap the calming benefits, so buddy up before your next big speech.

The secrets of our sexess

Here three long-term couples who HAVE made it work tell us how..

10 YEARS

'Kissing and cuddling makes us want each other more'

Therese, 45, and Andrew Sahey, 46, from Teddington, Middx have been married 10 years. Andrew is a hairdresser and Therese a childminder. Therese has two grown-up children.

Therese Says: Intimacy without sex is crucial and it's what makes our sex life so good. After you've been together a while men often stop being touchy-feely with women for anything other than sex. So when a man kisses them they think, "Oh no, here we go."

Andrew has a higher sex drive than me but he will often say: "I want us to kiss and cuddle but that's all" so I don't get jumpy and just enjoy the intimacy.

How To Be a Better Kisser

Kissing prowess is probably more important to the ladies than it is to you — so knowing how to be a better kisser will give you more cred than you think.

By Chloe Anderson


If there was a scale from 1 to 10 of things that are important to you, with 1 being “decorative pillows” and 10 being “not getting ball cancer,” I’m guessing kissing would clock in at about a 4. But for most women, including me? At least an 8 or a 9. Which means if you want to hook a new girl, or keep your current one happy, figuring out how to be a better kisser is a must.

There are five basic smooches every man should be intimately familiar with, and I’ve taken the liberty of breaking each one down for you. Want to kiss me?

Girls Kissing Girls: Explaining the Trend

By JEFFREY KLUGER |
 

Britney and Madonna did it; so did Scarlett Johansson and Sandra Bullock. And so do women in bars, at mixers, on the street and, increasingly, in private — especially when those women are college students. The “it” is the kiss, of course, and even before Katy Perry celebrated the all-girl lip-lock in song, it was clear that the party was definitely on.

Girl-girl kissing is not new, anymore than boy-girl or boy-boy — or any of the other mix-and-match combinations of genders and numbers in which sexually charged human beings can find themselves. What is new is the openness with which girls are sampling from among their own, and the way the phenomenon has rapidly gone from startling to titillating to, if not quite commonplace, at least not all that uncommon either. (More on Time.com: See a photogallery of the visual history of the gay rights movement)

How to kiss

A lot of people are still virgins when it comes to kissing. A lot of people can kiss but don't know how to kiss properly. Here are the basics to kissing. Once you have mastered kissing then you can try other styles and techniques of kissing.

1. Hygiene - The last thing anyone wants is to be kissed by someone who has yellow teeth or bad breath. Brush your teeth twice a day and floss to get in-between the gaps. Your partner will love to be kissed by you if your mouth is clean and fresh.

2. Get into a comfortable position - You don't want to have to stop a few seconds into kissing because your back is twisted. Sitting comfortable means no back pain and longer kissing.

3. Embrace your partner - But don't squeeze him/her. Cuddling each other so that your faces are touching is perfect. You could cup your partners face gently in your hands.

4. Move your faces closer - Don't bump noses. Both of you must tilt your head slightly to the side so that your nose is touching the side of the other's nose.

5. Kiss your partners lips gentle - Closed lips kissing to start with. Close your eyes and let the warmth of each others lips take over your senses.

6. Get comfortable with simple closed lip - Lip-to-lip kissing before going anywhere else.

7. Lightly brush your tongue across your partners lips - This will entice him/her to open their mouth.

8. Now both of your mouths should be open - Now it is up to you. Move your mouths in time with each other opening them and slightly closing them in rhythm with one another.

9. Whatever you do, don't bite. 

10. Continue kissing - Until you are comfortable with each other's lips.

11. You could of course use a mirror - Which may be a lot easier and a lot less scary then kissing someone for the first time when you don't know how to kiss. 


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It was going so well...what happened??

Feb 24, 2010

There seems to be a new phenomenon of late whereby a first date seems to go extremely well and may well lead on to a second date and then all of a sudden it's over. Why would this happen when everything seemed so right? The chemistry was there, shared interests and the kissing was good too so what happened? I wish I had an answer to this one as it has happened to me a couple of times and each time it has left me pondering how many different variables are involved in making a successful relationship. I do however have some theories that may at least ease the pain of the rejection.

Firstly, people are complicated when it comes to issues of the heart and to the most part we have spent many years cultivating in our heads just what our ideal partner would be. These expectations we have of people can put an enormous strain on a forming relationship and it is important to give people a little leeway. Understandably, people do make allowances for failed expectations however the truth is that a little too much wine can lower our expectations a little too much and make us act in a way that is not true to our real feelings. It's only when the date is over and the effects of alcohol subside do we realize that the person really isn't suitable at all.

Secondly, most people have some sort of emotional baggage whether that takes the form of an unresolved previous relationship or emotional fear of becoming attached again. I have often wished that people could be more up front about any concerns like this but often they are not and unfortunately, people find it easier to lie themselves out of a difficult emotional situation.

Thirdly, an old boyfriend or girlfriend wants them back and your date was in a sense using you to see if they are up to starting another relationship or not. This situation is probably the worst as you will find it extremely difficult to compete with someone your date has history with. On old partner will not require all the time and effort involved in starting again and represents a comfortable way out of the dating scene.

Finally, and possibly the most difficult to swallow is that perhaps you were just too keen and got a little carried away. It's such a hard balancing act to do, knowing when the time is right to open up your emotions to someone and yet be sure that you're not making yourself too vulnerable. It's even harder when all the signals are telling you that it's ok to be swept away, especially if the date has taken on quite an intimate nature.

So what can you do now? The most sensible thing you can do is to reflect on what has happened and file it away in your experience drawer in the safe knowledge that you are that much wiser on the dating scene. Take it slower next time and don't be too quick to allow yourself to fall. Be sure the signs are right and trust your instincts. If there is a niggling doubt in your mind about something, generally there is something wrong and it's only the ecstasy of falling in love that is preventing you from facing it.  

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