Like most women, Kim Griffiths thought getting pregnant would be a breeze. Find the right man, get settled, and take the next step toward building a family.
According to a recent GfK Roper survey, 65% of couples didn’t consider fertility to be an issue when the time was right to conceive. Many couples are waiting longer to conceive for a variety of reasons, but of those that encounter difficulties getting pregnant, a whopping 91% say they wished they’d gone ahead and reached out to a fertility specialist sooner.
Griffiths knows exactly how these women feel. Here’s her story, what she believes is behind the delay in treatment, and the steps she’s taken to ensure more women can avoid similar circumstances.
How long did you “try” before you became concerned?
My husband and I started trying to conceive a little over a year after we were married. Almost immediately, I knew something was not right- I had one period, then none for about three months leading up to my annual OB/GYN visit. I addressed my initial concerns with my doctor and he prescribed a drug that induced my cycle. I took the drug, but wasn’t truly satisfied taking a “quick fix”, so I did some research of my own and began charting my Basal Body Temperature and reported back to my doctor a few months later armed with my charts as proof that I was not ovulating. At that point, my OB/GYN ran some tests and I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). My doctor assured me that this was a very treatable condition, but also wanted to test my husband’s fertility. He ordered a semen analysis, which revealed my husband has 2% Morphology, or 98% misshapen sperm. We were devastated by the news, but my doctor assured us he had a great professional relationship with a fertility specialist who could help us. We went with the referral, and opened the door to many more treatment options than we’d had on our own.
My husband and I started trying to conceive a little over a year after we were married. Almost immediately, I knew something was not right- I had one period, then none for about three months leading up to my annual OB/GYN visit. I addressed my initial concerns with my doctor and he prescribed a drug that induced my cycle. I took the drug, but wasn’t truly satisfied taking a “quick fix”, so I did some research of my own and began charting my Basal Body Temperature and reported back to my doctor a few months later armed with my charts as proof that I was not ovulating. At that point, my OB/GYN ran some tests and I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). My doctor assured me that this was a very treatable condition, but also wanted to test my husband’s fertility. He ordered a semen analysis, which revealed my husband has 2% Morphology, or 98% misshapen sperm. We were devastated by the news, but my doctor assured us he had a great professional relationship with a fertility specialist who could help us. We went with the referral, and opened the door to many more treatment options than we’d had on our own.
Were you and your husband doing everything typically recommended to conceive? Did you know what steps you should take?
It is important to distinguish between “trying” and “trying with well-timed intercourse” which is recommended prior to seeking the assistance of a fertility specialist. The current guidelines are if you are over 35 years of age and trying for 6 months (with well-timed intercourse) or under 35 and trying for one year, it may be time to see the specialist. The exception to that is if you are having irregular cycles. Once I started charting my Basal Body Temperature and saw that I was not ovulating, it was very difficult for me to have well-timed intercourse as there was nothing for me to time! We did try, though. We were hopeful. Luckily, I had a great relationship with my OB/GYN and still do to this day! I trusted him whole-heartedly and knew he was giving me a referral to someone he knew and trusted.
Do you think women are properly educated about the symptoms of infertility?
It is so unfortunate, but many women think of infertility as something that only affects older women. The truth is, 1 in 8 couples are struggling with infertility, regardless of their age or race, it is a real problem. Even if you are not ready to start building your family, you should absolutely keep these things in mind and be mindful of your cycles. You are your own best advocate when it comes to your health. If something just doesn’t seem right, it is better to ask questions than to prolong getting answers. There are more of us out there than you think and we are asking our doctors the same questions you are!
It is important to distinguish between “trying” and “trying with well-timed intercourse” which is recommended prior to seeking the assistance of a fertility specialist. The current guidelines are if you are over 35 years of age and trying for 6 months (with well-timed intercourse) or under 35 and trying for one year, it may be time to see the specialist. The exception to that is if you are having irregular cycles. Once I started charting my Basal Body Temperature and saw that I was not ovulating, it was very difficult for me to have well-timed intercourse as there was nothing for me to time! We did try, though. We were hopeful. Luckily, I had a great relationship with my OB/GYN and still do to this day! I trusted him whole-heartedly and knew he was giving me a referral to someone he knew and trusted.
Do you think women are properly educated about the symptoms of infertility?
It is so unfortunate, but many women think of infertility as something that only affects older women. The truth is, 1 in 8 couples are struggling with infertility, regardless of their age or race, it is a real problem. Even if you are not ready to start building your family, you should absolutely keep these things in mind and be mindful of your cycles. You are your own best advocate when it comes to your health. If something just doesn’t seem right, it is better to ask questions than to prolong getting answers. There are more of us out there than you think and we are asking our doctors the same questions you are!
Did you feel your OB/GYN was receptive to your initial concerns?
I really feel my OB/GYN was as hopeful as I was that the drug he prescribed would sort of jump start my cycle. He could sense my devastation when I came in with those irregular ovulation charts.
I really feel my OB/GYN was as hopeful as I was that the drug he prescribed would sort of jump start my cycle. He could sense my devastation when I came in with those irregular ovulation charts.
Did he recommend a fertility specialist soon enough?
I am so grateful that my doctor took a proactive approach and ran the tests even though the news broke my heart. We began seeing the fertility specialist just short of one year of trying on our own with my irregular cycles.
I am so grateful that my doctor took a proactive approach and ran the tests even though the news broke my heart. We began seeing the fertility specialist just short of one year of trying on our own with my irregular cycles.
What were your initial feelings about needing to see a fertility specialist?
Like so many other women, I never thought I would have to see a fertility specialist! Once I was diagnosed, I felt like my dreams of becoming a mom would never come true. You map out your life in your head and envision the house and the white picket fence and a family…I was devastated. I felt like I was being robbed of this right every other woman seems to have, like I was being punished, but I couldn’t figure out what I did to deserve this.
Like so many other women, I never thought I would have to see a fertility specialist! Once I was diagnosed, I felt like my dreams of becoming a mom would never come true. You map out your life in your head and envision the house and the white picket fence and a family…I was devastated. I felt like I was being robbed of this right every other woman seems to have, like I was being punished, but I couldn’t figure out what I did to deserve this.
I have to stress, though, that once I made the call and had my initial consult with the fertility specialist, my entire outlook changed. Here was this amazing doctor that showed me not one, but several different paths we could take to build our family. He understood my diagnosis and I now had options! I went from dark to light almost instantly. He was so helpful, knowledgeable, and really made both of us feel comfortable about the journey ahead.
Why do you think so many women see fertility specialists as a last resort?
Many women associate seeing a fertility specialist with In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). They think that just by making that phone call, they will be scheduled to visit a cold, sterile lab where they will be told IVF is the only solution. It is quite the opposite. IVF is not for everyone and makes up only a small percentage of those treated. There are various treatment protocols that are customized to your specific diagnosis. It is your specialists’ job to make sure you are comfortable with the treatment, and it is their goal to help you achieve your goal- a family.
Many women associate seeing a fertility specialist with In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). They think that just by making that phone call, they will be scheduled to visit a cold, sterile lab where they will be told IVF is the only solution. It is quite the opposite. IVF is not for everyone and makes up only a small percentage of those treated. There are various treatment protocols that are customized to your specific diagnosis. It is your specialists’ job to make sure you are comfortable with the treatment, and it is their goal to help you achieve your goal- a family.
What other treatments did you try before IVF?
We started out with an ovulation induction pill along with Intra Uterine Insemination (IUI) where the sperm sample is washed and the strongest candidates are used in the insemination. The pill was not successful, so we moved on to injectible medications and IUI. Ultimately, I conceived my boy/girl twins via my first IVF cycle in April 2010. We just celebrated their first birthday in December 2011.
We started out with an ovulation induction pill along with Intra Uterine Insemination (IUI) where the sperm sample is washed and the strongest candidates are used in the insemination. The pill was not successful, so we moved on to injectible medications and IUI. Ultimately, I conceived my boy/girl twins via my first IVF cycle in April 2010. We just celebrated their first birthday in December 2011.
Did you have a strong support system?
At the time we were diagnosed, I didn’t know anyone in real life who was experiencing infertility. I turned to online resources and found a wonderful community of women going through their cycles at the same time I was. We have built some tremendous friendships and still keep in touch.
At the time we were diagnosed, I didn’t know anyone in real life who was experiencing infertility. I turned to online resources and found a wonderful community of women going through their cycles at the same time I was. We have built some tremendous friendships and still keep in touch.
Were you hesitant to share your plans with friends and family members?
At first, we were hesitant to talk about it. It is so sad that infertility is still such a taboo topic when 1 in 8 couples are suffering. Once we opened up to our family and friends, they were amazingly supportive.
At first, we were hesitant to talk about it. It is so sad that infertility is still such a taboo topic when 1 in 8 couples are suffering. Once we opened up to our family and friends, they were amazingly supportive.
Share some of the advice you give your support group.
The best advice I can give and always tell my group members is that you have to be comfortable with your treatment protocol. If you don’t understand something, ASK, ASK, ASK. And if you forget, call back and ask again! Fertility treatment is a very serious thing to go through and you have to be an advocate for your own body.
Do you see some of yourself in the support group’s members? How so?
I absolutely do. I see the hope, the desire, the fear that each one of them has. I felt that way too. I wish I could make the journey easier for them. I wish I could tell them they WILL find peace whether it be through conceiving, adopting, or deciding to settle their family of two.
The best advice I can give and always tell my group members is that you have to be comfortable with your treatment protocol. If you don’t understand something, ASK, ASK, ASK. And if you forget, call back and ask again! Fertility treatment is a very serious thing to go through and you have to be an advocate for your own body.
Do you see some of yourself in the support group’s members? How so?
I absolutely do. I see the hope, the desire, the fear that each one of them has. I felt that way too. I wish I could make the journey easier for them. I wish I could tell them they WILL find peace whether it be through conceiving, adopting, or deciding to settle their family of two.
What (if anything) would you do differently in hindsight?
I would have opened up about our struggles sooner to friends and family. Infertility is nothing to be ashamed of and isn’t your fault. The more we talk about it, the more we spread awareness and increase support for each other. It is a very difficult thing to go through. You are not alone.
I would have opened up about our struggles sooner to friends and family. Infertility is nothing to be ashamed of and isn’t your fault. The more we talk about it, the more we spread awareness and increase support for each other. It is a very difficult thing to go through. You are not alone.
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