By Laura J. Schaefer
If email just isn't fast enough for you, instant messaging now offers the gratification of immediate contact. Buddy lists are growing and most people now pass the workday with the help of friendly little windows of conversation (don't tell my boss). Instant messaging, in fact, has become a common step between posting or answering an online dating profile and the actual meeting. It's a date with training wheels, an audition. To ensure that you make the cut and pedal confidently into the sunset, heed the following tips:
1. Keep the emoticons and abbreviations to a minimum
There is nothing more annoying than an IMer who is constantly "lol," (laughing out loud). The same thing goes for excessive smiley faces. Reserve these little winking guys for when you want to make it clear that you're not serious. Don't throw them in after every single sentence unless you want to resemble a third grade girl.
2. Keep it interesting
If you know you'll be instant messaging a potential date several times before an actual meeting, you'll have to dig a little deeper than "What did you do last weekend?" Like any other conversation, you have to be engaging — this time without the mesmerizing effect of your physical presence. If you sense that your instant messaging partner has the time and interest to stay with the session (i.e., she is replying quickly to your posts and asking questions), feel free to find out details about her job, pet, or family. Keep the tone light and fun. Make her laugh, compliment her, tease her.
1. Keep the emoticons and abbreviations to a minimum
There is nothing more annoying than an IMer who is constantly "lol," (laughing out loud). The same thing goes for excessive smiley faces. Reserve these little winking guys for when you want to make it clear that you're not serious. Don't throw them in after every single sentence unless you want to resemble a third grade girl.
2. Keep it interesting
If you know you'll be instant messaging a potential date several times before an actual meeting, you'll have to dig a little deeper than "What did you do last weekend?" Like any other conversation, you have to be engaging — this time without the mesmerizing effect of your physical presence. If you sense that your instant messaging partner has the time and interest to stay with the session (i.e., she is replying quickly to your posts and asking questions), feel free to find out details about her job, pet, or family. Keep the tone light and fun. Make her laugh, compliment her, tease her.
3. Don't overwhelm
IM isn't the place to get into heavy topics or long stories. The same is true of pushy come-ons. Just because you happen to be shielded by a computer screen doesn't mean that you should turn off your inner editor.
4. Watch your spelling
Sometime after the invention of email, people got very lazy about spelling and punctuation. Set yourself apart and make a good impression by watching these little details.
5. Never use all caps
Watch your font and stay away from caps, which suggest shouting and are harder to read. GOT IT?
6. Are you there?
If you are on each other's buddy lists, you'll always know when the other is online. What you don't ever know is if the other is available to IM. Don't bombard her with messages every time she appears online. A quick "hello, how are you?" is fine. Eight forlorn posts with no reply is kinda sad.
7. End the conversation before the other party loses interest
If the replies slow down or become very short, you'll want to sign off. Remember that the goal of all of this online chat is to meet in person for a date. Keep her interest level high by saving your best stories instead of typing them all out. Instant messages should build anticipation, not dispel it.
Laura Schaefer is the author of Man with Farm Seeks Woman with Tractor: The Best and Worst Personal Ads of All Time.
IM isn't the place to get into heavy topics or long stories. The same is true of pushy come-ons. Just because you happen to be shielded by a computer screen doesn't mean that you should turn off your inner editor.
4. Watch your spelling
Sometime after the invention of email, people got very lazy about spelling and punctuation. Set yourself apart and make a good impression by watching these little details.
5. Never use all caps
Watch your font and stay away from caps, which suggest shouting and are harder to read. GOT IT?
6. Are you there?
If you are on each other's buddy lists, you'll always know when the other is online. What you don't ever know is if the other is available to IM. Don't bombard her with messages every time she appears online. A quick "hello, how are you?" is fine. Eight forlorn posts with no reply is kinda sad.
7. End the conversation before the other party loses interest
If the replies slow down or become very short, you'll want to sign off. Remember that the goal of all of this online chat is to meet in person for a date. Keep her interest level high by saving your best stories instead of typing them all out. Instant messages should build anticipation, not dispel it.
Laura Schaefer is the author of Man with Farm Seeks Woman with Tractor: The Best and Worst Personal Ads of All Time.
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