The Bible tells of a walk Jesus took with His disciples one day to a pool where people believed they could be healed of any disease or injury. The legend was that the first person into the pool after an angel created a disturbance in the water would be miraculously cured. For me, one of the most remarkable things that happened in the story is actually something that didn’t happen. As Jesus and His disciples walked into the area of the pool they must have been surrounded by broken, hurting, and sickly people. It must have been hard to walk without stepping on someone laying by the pool, waiting for the angel to stir the water. And this is what didn’t happen: Jesus didn’t lecture anyone about being hurt or sick. No one scolded anyone about being in the condition they were in. The Great Physician didn’t begin this episode with a lecture about why these people shouldn’t feel, or act, or hurt the way they were. No one discounted the pain by even remotely suggesting that it might be inappropriate to be in pain.
Why then, are we so uncomfortable with the idea of being hurt? Why is it that when I am manipulated, or used, or attacked, I get this sense that I shouldn’t feel the embarrassment, the betrayal, or the anger the situation aroused in me? Could it be that we are so uncomfortable with pain that we refuse to admit that it has a place in our lives and especially in our spiritual journeys? I know that in my case I tend to believe that I have to get beyond the pain quickly and get back to a level of productivity and business that I have almost always covered over my wounds without having cleaned them out first. And of course, that never helps.
So, today, I want to give you permission to hurt. You may feel your pain. You may examine your sorrow and bewilderment. You have permission to suffer without feeling the need to gloss it over and get on with life, and without the need to act as if everything is OK, or is going to be OK, even when there is no evidence of that anywhere. You and I both know that you should get over this, and I promise you that you can. But first, you have to stop and process the pain. You have to come to terms with what you feel and what you’ve experienced that has stirred up those feelings. If you don’t take this very first step of allowing yourself to feel the fullness of your hurt, you may never move beyond it. So, it’s OK… The time will come when Jesus will ask the question “Do you want to get well?”, but that time doesn’t have to be today if you haven’t yet admitted how much you need to get well in the first place.
So, knowing that relief, joy, and growth are certainly very near to you, it is safe for you to take a little time to acknowledge what your soul already knows. You are not alone, the Spirit is ready to stir your pool, but there is no rush. When you are ready for the next step, the next step will begin to take you. If you need help, or just someone to talk to, reach out to us here at the Refuge. We’re willing to walk this with you.
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