IT’S RAINING CATS AND DOGS AND ... SEX?!

Does your pet stay in the room when you get down and dirty?

Janine

This one stumped the folks at Yahoo Answers.

Pets and sex are admittedly two of my favorite subjects…when discussed separately, with a nice thick wall of “You shall not pass!” between them, that is. Put them together and things start to get a little freaky.

No, this isn’t a crappy segue into some kitty-on-kitty action or the great spay and neuter debate that inevitably pops up when sex and pets are discussed on Dogster or Catster, the sites I edit by day. The burning questions on my mind are as follows: When you and your partner get horizontal, do you lock Fluffy and Fido out of the room? Do they become silent witnesses to The Deed (TM) as it is done or not-so-silent spectators?

I walked into this conversation for the first time a few years ago when I was sad and dog-less, and a gay friend was telling me how he could NOT get his newly-adopted pup to stop barking up a storm whenever he brought a foxy bear home from the bar for fun and games. His dog clearly thought he was being manhandled a little roughly -- but how does one explain to one’s dog that this is EXACTLY how you like it? It’s probably not the time to bring in the Dog Whisperer. (Wait, I take it back, I would totally watch that episode.)

Men Need To Understand the Other Side

Written by Creflo A. Dollar

Now here is another myth, especially in the mind of a man: that it all comes naturally. But that just isn't true. There are some natural things that happen, but if you want to be a good lover to your wife, there are other things you can do besides the natural things. It is a learning, discovering process.

What a lot of men have done is to lean more towards the discovering process. In other words, they say, "I'm too embarrassed to discuss it." Or "I'm too ashamed to admit I don't know it all." Or "I don't have anybody I can talk to about it. And even if I did, I don't think I would feel comfortable with someone explaining to me about having sex and experiencing love with my wife."

Not too many men are really comfortable in this particular setting, because their egos are under attack, as if they were automatically supposed to know all about it.

For The Men: Increasing a Woman’s Sex Drive

The best way to help a woman have a high sex drive is just to have lots of sex with her. Get her in the habit of having sex often, and she will come to expect it when she crawls into bed with you. Develop the habit of sex. Get your relationship to be where sex is the norm at bedtime instead of the exception. Sex Frequency Statistics say that most people have sex 1.3 times per week, and if I’m guessing correctly, this isn’t enough for most red-blooded men.

For some reason, it takes women some warming up after there has been a dry spell (and I would call once a week a dry spell). So you have sex once and it’s not that great. Don’t miss the opportunity to have sex again the following night, this is very important! 

For the Men: The Right Way to Grab Your Wife’s Boobs

We know you want them, and we know you like to squeeze them, but it gets annoying to be surprised all the time by having your husband grabbing your boobs and if you aren’t doing it the right way, you are probably going to lose your rights or your wife is going to treat you more like a pesky fly than the man you really are. So I thought I’d offer the men some tips today on how to grab your wife’s boobs leaving her wanting more instead of having her swat your hand away and glare at you.

Wrong Way: Give her a quick kiss on the lips and reach down and squeeze her boob quickly before she notices and can stop you, then act like nothing happened.

Right Way: If you want to do the kiss and grab, then you need to up the passion. Push her against the wall, kiss her hard and long and fondle her boobs strongly (but not painfully), you could even use both hands if you want for this one.

Does Sexy Lingerie Promote a Perverted View of Beauty?

Another Monday, another reader question. Today's topic is introduced by an anonymous reader and involves sexy lingerie. Here's his story:

J – My wife and I have been married for three years now. During that time I have given her various gifts of lingerie around holidays, birthdays, random days… I love it when my wife gets dressed up in anticipation of sex. To me, a very visual man, it’s her way of inviting me to be intimate with her, kind of my version of foreplay. Just like when I bring her flowers, prepare a romantic dinner date, spend time holding her and kissing the nape of her neck. When she gets “dressed up,” she’s telling me she’s interested in pleasing me (she knows I’m visual), wants to look her best and have me devour her with my eyes (because my eyes are only for her), she wants to seduce/pursue me (and I want to be seduced/pursued).

Sexting: The new dating norm

by Kayleigh Dray

How often do you send a sexy text? You're not alone! Research has shown that sexting is has become part of our modern dating regimes thanks to the world of instant multimedia communication...

Sending a sexy text may feel pretty risque, but, thanks to new research, it has been proven that sexting is a vital and healthy part of modern dating.

Whether it's sexy photos or oh-so-detailed text messages (Fifty Shades Of Grey, eat your heart out!), sexting is a regular part of modern dating. After all, we've got to evolve our methods to keep up with all the instant multimedias on offer!

Call It the New Junk Mail

You'd think that a guy who tosses footballs for a living would know how to make a pass. But when Brett Favre allegedly texted a shot of his Johnson to an unsuspecting Jets employee, he exposed himself as yet another grown man who's as clueless in the world of technology as in the world of seduction. Sloane Crosley explains what a woman actually wants from a man when it comes to her sext life

BY SLOANE CROSLEY

                 Penis. Penis! PENIS!

That's how the game is played, right? Whoever can shout it the loudest without caving to embarrassment wins. Oh, but who needs a larynx when you have a cell phone? More to the point, when you have Brett Favre's cell phone. To Favre's credit, it's not as if the man invented naughty-picture messaging two years ago when he reportedly sent then 24-year-old Playboy model and Jets game-day hostess Jenn Sterger shots of his junk. He may have been the longest in the tooth to do this, but let us not forget the Cleveland Indians' aptly named Grady Sizemore or the Portland Trail Blazers' Greg Oden and his formidable anatomy, which he clearly rented from Equine 'n' Things. Fame aside, the question is—okay, so there are a lot of questions—but the first one is: How can men be so clueless? What, exactly, do they think is going to happen?

Are You Entitled to All The Sex You Want?

Douglas Weiss, Ph.D. New Man - Sexual Purity

Question: How many times is too much? How many times is not enough?

Answer: Now here is a real guy question. Unfortunately, there's not a concrete, one-size-fits-all answer. First, let's deal with entitlement. We are not entitled to all the sex we want. 

Sex isn't something that you want to approach just from a physical perspective. This would be like your wife asking how much prayer and nurture she's entitled to have from her Christian husband!

If you're looking for averages, two to three times a week is average for couples under 50 and one to two times a week is average for couples over 50.

Now for some of you, this would be heaven. For others, this would be hell. If your wife is within these ranges, you have a healthy, sexual woman. Most likely, she's not your fantasy's insatiable several-times-a-day-porn-star you might have trained your brain and body to think is normal. Sorry! That is poor training for intimate, satisfying sex.

How To Be a Better Kisser

Kissing prowess is probably more important to the ladies than it is to you — so knowing how to be a better kisser will give you more cred than you think.

By Chloe Anderson


If there was a scale from 1 to 10 of things that are important to you, with 1 being “decorative pillows” and 10 being “not getting ball cancer,” I’m guessing kissing would clock in at about a 4. But for most women, including me? At least an 8 or a 9. Which means if you want to hook a new girl, or keep your current one happy, figuring out how to be a better kisser is a must.

There are five basic smooches every man should be intimately familiar with, and I’ve taken the liberty of breaking each one down for you. Want to kiss me?

How to Solve Sexting Snafus

By Sarah Weinberg

Sexting, like any other romantic endeavor, can end in one of many ways. Unfortunately, some of those ways are embarrassing. Blush-inducing. Awkward. Major sexting snafus, if you will.

Sigh, such is the life of a technology-dependent lady in love. Lucky for you, we’ve put together a guide to sexting, snafu-free. Because while a kink in your kinky plans is the last thing you want, you should know how to navigate one — just in case. Read on, and get romancing, 21st century-style.

Sexting Snafu: You’re afraid to initiate sexting
If you’re apprehensive about turning up the flirt via text message, we understand. Sexting is a controversial topic, and it seems like everyonehas an opinion on it. But let’s clear one thing up: sexy texting doesn’t have to mean sending revealing pictures. In fact, unless you’ve sworn your boyfriend to secrecy under a somehow unbreakable relationship confidentiality clause, we don’t recommend swapping photos of your girls and his little guy. Words can be just as powerful, if not more so.

What is recommended for a beginner sexter is to start slow. Think of it as the foreplay that comes before the foreplay. You wouldn’t jump straight into bed without a little lip-to-lip action first, right? (Extreme gotta-have-you-now circumstances excluded.) So, make your first sext a little innocuous. Something like, “I couldn’t stop thinking about last night’s date when I woke up this morning” or“You looked really cute in that striped shirt yesterday” is perfect. It may not be the most forward opening line, but he’ll catch on quickly, and you can up the ooo-la-la over the next few texts.

Sexting Snafu: His sexting is turning you off.
Everyone has a different style of flirting, so it shouldn’t shock you if one of your guy’s tricks doesn’t set your heart aflutter. But turning up your nose at his technological tactics can be tough. In person, you could swiftly change the type of flirting or try out your own techniques. When texting, that can’t be done so easily.

Because of this, honesty is probably your best (and least relationship-endangering) bet. Yes, you risk hurting his feelings — and his ego — but that uncomfortable conversation is a must if you really want to put an end to his sexting. During your in-person chat, keep the focus on yourself rather than placing the blame on him. You can cut to the chase with something along the lines of, “Babe, I can’t really get into the whole sexting thing. I think it’s a lot hotter if we flirt in person. Then I’m able to look at you and touch you.” Offering another option that can lead up to getting frisky lets your beau know that it’s not the idea of being with him that’s turning you off, it’s just the approach.

If you don’t want to stop his sexting altogether though, just steer it in another direction, use some of those magical manipulative powers we females all possess. He may think sending you a photo of his member is sexy; you — not so much. Respond to the picture by asking him to describe what he wants to do to you, and get an actual dialogue flowing.

Sexting Snafu: You sexted the wrong person.
This is the easiest way to screw up a sext — and probably the most embarrassing. Committing this error doesn’t have to equate to social suicide, though. Here are a few ways to handle the situation:
Ignore It.
Chances are the unlucky text recipient wants to forget about the incident as much as you do. If the person doesn’t write back within half an hour or so — these aren’t look now, respond later kinds of texts — don’t feel obligated to do so either. Rather than fish for the right words to undo the situation (FYI: there are none), don’t say anything at all. It might not be the most mature approach, but, hey, romance and humiliation do crazy, age-reverting things to the female brain.

Apologize for It
“Sorry” won’t erase that ill-fated text, but it may bring a little closure to your romantic glitch. You shouldn’t apologize profusely; it’ll only prolong the awkwardness. A short and sweet, “I’m so sorry. That was obviously meant for someone else!” will do the job.

Make It Funny
Humor often helps ease awkward situations. If your joke works, the ice is broken. If your joke falls flat, the ice is still broken, and the awkwardness is now centered on your lack of comedic timing instead of your flirting flub. Try something like, “Well, I guess we can skip the discussion about my sex life at the next girl’s night out!”

If you really did something bad though (like texted mom and dad, bad), your best move is to fess up. The more frank and adult-like you are about the situation, the less they can say back to you. Text the person back with, “Ok, this is really embarrassing. I accidentally texted the wrong person. I’d really rather not talk about what it said. I’m sorry you had to see it, though!”

Sexting Snafu: You’re an awkward sexter.
Even with a solid effort and a slow start (as we advise) it can take a while to become a sextpert. If after a few back and forths you’re still unsuccessful, rethink your ways. Are you sticking true to your personality or does the technological divide turn you into an X-rated diva?

While one of the great parts of sexting is being able to let your guard down a bit, you shouldn’t stray too far from your regular sexy time ways. If you’re about to text something you wouldn’t dream of saying in-person in a million years, don’t. More often than not, it’ll come off as forced and clumsy, neither of which is a huge turn-on.

Rereading what you write before hitting send is another way to prevent an awkward situation. There’s nothing like an attempted sext being taken the wrong way. Make your initial statement simple but somewhat obvious in its attempt. “I need you” or “I’m hot” can be taken a million different ways, so steer clear of ambiguous phrases like those. The last thing you want is your boyfriend imagining you dripping with sweat when you reallywant him to heat things up with you.

Here are a few flirty sexts that are sure to get the flirt flowing — and not get misconstrued:

• “My roommates are going to be away this weekend. What should we do with the apartment all to ourselves?”
• “I finally tried that yoga class I was telling you about! I feel so flexible. Wonder how long it will last…”
• “I just finished reading the latest issue of Cosmo. So. Many. Ideas. Want to come over?”

Sexting Snafu: You’ve sexted him scandalous pictures, but now you’re broken up.
Let us reiterate: sexting some cheeky and slightly inappropriate words, though still risky, is far less incriminating than sexting some cheeky and slightly inappropriate pictures. But if you bold collegiettes havesent your guy a quick snap sans clothes, proceed with caution.

Unfortunately, there aren’t many legal defenses you can take. You voluntarily took and provided him with the photos, and, therefore, they’re now his. If the break-up was amicable, ask him to delete the photos you sent him. Chances are you guys swapped pictures, so he wouldn’t want to jeopardize himself just to spite you, right?
Keep things nice and straightforward with a phone call. Say something like, “I trust that you wouldn’t want to embarrass me or put my future in danger, but I would feel a lot more comfortable if you would permanently delete the pictures I sent you. They were private, and now that we aren’t together anymore I don’t think you need to have them. I hope you can respect that.” If all else fails, pull a Carrie Underwood, and take a Louisville slugger to both headlights.

With some practice and a little patience concerning the occasional snafu, you’ll be well on your way to becoming a certified sextpert! Have you sexted in the past? Did it go off without a hitch?

http://www.hercampus.com/love/how-solve-sexting-snafus

My Wife Won't Have Sex with Me. What Can I Do?

By Babble.com | Love + Sex

In the beginning, there was sex. And it was good. And there was more sex. And it too was good… 


My wife and I began our relationship as any two relatively awesome people do… We were friends for a while, long distance. Then we met and got into a relationship and had some awesome sex. Pretty much every day. We got married and this sex continued. 

As an aside, know this: 1. My wife loves me very much, and I her. 2. I'll try to be the least pornographic I can in writing this post. But that will be hard. Wait. There's probably a pun in there… 

HER EGGO WAS PREGGO 

Then my wife got pregnant as the result of this awesome, great sex. I definitely had my "I don't want to bruise the baby" thinking cap and underwear on, which probably contributed to our general feeling about sex falling off the to-do list of our lives. We were all about the baby and our sex lives were made even more unavailable by my booking tons of work as an actor that year. I worked my ass off. We tried to be intimate and physical but it wasn't the same. Simultaneously, I was feeling like the most masculine guy I've ever been. I impregnated a woman. I am man. Boom. 

And she was even more beautiful to me, so it was difficult keeping my hands to myself. Pregnant women don't glow. They radiate, like stellar objects. There was definitely a trimester where things picked up, but things always felt really tentative and a bit disconnected. To be honest, I think we were both so excited about our future son, that our future and present sex took the hit, falling victim to our best laid plans. I really have to stop with the entendres… 

AFTER THE FLOOD 

After Finn's birth, I gave my wife time to recover from natural delivery before diving back into things. You know, two days. Joking…. 

I knew it was probably smarter to let her come to me after her recovery. But that's where it got funny. She didn't. I could tell that the pregnancy/birth experience was one of those "this changes everything" deals. So we carried on. She tried her best to breastfeed and stay awake, and I just kept eating. 

I gained a total of 30-40 pounds from the beginning of her pregnancy to Finn's first three months of life. So I wasn't looking my sportiest, manliest best, whatever. And this won't sound good, writing it now, but I was transforming into a woman: soft and curvy. 

WORK IT OUT 

So, as I stated in "Pregnancy Weight Is Ugly", I worked my ass off again, but literally. I quit sugar, I dieted, I worked out again. I tried to shove my physical life back into this new fathering life and it was hell. I would workout at home in front of Finn in his little swing contraption. I took him on hikes. I went to the gym without any sleep. The worst part was: When you don't sleep, your body doesn't change as fast. So it took double the work. 

But I did it. 

I worked for hours and days on my body to get fit, mostly for myself and my career, but I'd be lying if I said those were the only reasons. I really wanted to do it so my wife would find me attractive enough to want to have constant, ridiculous, while-Finn-was-asleep-in-the-other-room monkeysex with me. 

But I didn't get that. 

I mean we had sex, and it happened more often, I guess. But the change was even more evident. Maybe my awesome foreplay needed help… Walking around bottomless in our room used to do it, but it barely raised an eyebrow now. My patented phrase "Jump on it!" didn't seem to fire things up anymore, either. Doing naked jumping jacks? No dice. Maybe it was the fact that sex meant something else now, it meant a means to a painful end. 

So now I don't know what to do. I love my wife. I just want her to rock my socks off a little more, ya know? 

Can someone email her about this post and tell her I'm ready for her. Anytime. Any place. Thanks. Email her here: Vote4Sex@howtobeadad.com 

PS: Not even kidding, this will go to her. 
- By Charlie Capen 

http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/wife-wont-sex-204700783.html#more-id