Friday 23 March 2012

Why Am I Ill?

All that said, the question most of us are most interested in is not the mushy general question of why there is illness. The questions that count are "Why am I sick?" and "How do I become whole again?"
I'm a human, and humans are a fell kind, a broken people in a broken world.

Thus : If I am ever to be whole, my wholeness must be firmly based in what God has done and is doing about that situation.

I'm ill right now, in this moment, because this out-of-kilter body has left me open to the rest of out-of-kilter things in this out-of-kilter existence -- the germs, viruses, war wounds, accidents, fights, brain chemistry, and such, in the world around me.

Thus : if I am to be whole, I must be so within that world and that ecosystem which I'm a part of, and deal with it in every moment.

I'm sick within the community, tradition, and identity group of which I'm a part. That community has its own way of envisioning the illness, placing it within a narrative context or 'story'. This in turn helps me listen for how I, and also the God of this real-life story I'm in, can speak through it.

Thus : if I am to be whole, I must learn the framework that holds together such a varied wholeness, a framework that will help lead me through my life during, and hopefully after, the illness.

I'm ill. ME! I'm not quite like anyone else. I have my own identity. I have my own consciousness which, in a way, is the community of all that is 'me'. I am the main context of my own illness, and it is my life that's at stake.

Thus : if I am to be whole, I must be honest with myself. Because the stakes are so high for me, I cannot afford not to listen for the words of others who know how this illness operates, those who can name it (diagnosis) and then hopefully map out with me a course of action (treatment) for both the medical and non-medical aspects of the illness. I am responsible for me.

By looking at these parts of the illness, we can envision for ourselves what it means to be both cured and healed/made whole.

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