_(english).jpg "5 Ways to Stay In Love Forever")
Excellent advice for every couple.
1.CHERISH YOUR WIFE. RESPECT YOUR HUSBAND.
The core emotional need of a woman is to be cherished. This is the husband's number one responsibility. That means making her feel loved and appreciated, that she's your number one priority.
A man's core emotional need is to feel respected by his wife. When he comes home, he wants to feel that there is at least one person in the world who thinks he's got what it takes. That means getting off the phone when he walks in the door.
2.TREAT EACH OTHER LIKE GOOD FRIENDS
Under the marriage canopy one of the seven blessings given to the bride and groom is that they should become "beloved friends."
The hallmark of friendship is that each person validates and respects the other person's feelings and needs. Validation means: What's important to you is important to me. It's a key way to make your spouse feel loved.
3. REMEMBER THE FOUR GOLDEN WORDS: LISTEN, COMPROMISE, REPAIR, AND GRATITUDE.
Agree to keep one basic rule at the beginning of your marriage: No matter how upset you are, never launch a verbal attack. Fighting with insults only makes problems worse and erodes the relationship. Instead, implement the four golden words:
Listening: It's essential for working together and solving problems. Allow your spouse to speak without interruption and then repeat what has just been said. This reassures your spouse that he or she was heard.
Compromise: Strive to solve problems where both of you are happy with the solution. Neither one should feel coerced into accepting the other person's point of view.
Repair: When you hurt each other emotionally, repair the breakdown and remove the lingering feelings of anger and resentment. Aim for 100% reconciliation. A little resentment multiplied 50 times can create a wall of bitterness.
Gratitude: You can never say thank you enough to your spouse. Try to notice everything your spouse does for you and acknowledge it with sincere gratitude.
4. ESTABLISH STRONG BOUNDARIES
Your spouse is your number one priority - not your parents, relatives, friends, children, work, or hobbies. Set strong boundaries that show you value your marriage and don't allow anyone or anything to weaken your relationship.
That means meeting your spouse's needs before your parents' needs, coming home with enough time left in the evening to have quality time together, and inviolate date nights.
5. GIVE EACH OTHER PLEASURE DAILY
Marriage is ultimately about making each other feel good and striving to give your spouse pleasure on a daily basis - on his or her terms. If she says she likes lilies, don't bring her roses because you think they're more romantic.
Learn how your spouse prefers to be given to - whether it's physical affection, words of affirmation, receiving gifts, acts of service (like helping out in the house, running errands) or spending quality time - and get in the daily habit of doing it.
You'll enjoy giving more than receiving.
About the Author
Rabbi Dov Heller, M.A.
Rabbi Dov Heller is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who holds Masters Degrees in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University and in Contemporary Theology from Harvard University. He also holds a B.A. in philosophy and was ordained a rabbi in Jerusalem in 1982. He is director of the Aish HaTorah Counseling Center in Los Angeles, founder of the Relationship Institute, and runs a private practice specializing in adult psychotherapy, marriage counseling and personal guidance. In addition, he provides an international coaching and counseling service via telephone helping people solve their relationship challenges. Visit his website at www.claritytalk.com.
by Jon Walker
“You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.” (Romans 5:6 NIV)
You learn to trust God by obeying him in small ways.
You probably agree God is the supreme ruler of the universe, powerful enough to overcome any problem or defeat any enemy, that “everything comes from him; everything happens through him; everything ends up in him” (Romans 11:36 MSG).
And, if this is true, then your struggle to give it all to God is not over the issue of whether or not he’ll be able to fulfill his promises — he clearly can do that.
Perhaps the resistance you and I exhibit when we’re faced with trust is because we seriously doubt God will look out for our best interests: “Yes, I believe God can work this out, but will he?”
Or, “I know I can work this out, but I’m not sure God will — at least I’m not sure he will do it the way I want to see it done.”
God patiently understands your hesitancy. He made the first move toward establishing a loving, trusting relationship with you. He didn’t wait until you could be trusted to receive his love, and he doesn’t insist you become trustworthy before he trusts you with precious gifts (Romans 5:6-8).
God supports our small steps of faith. When we obey God, even in small ways, “we find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand — out in the wide open spaces of God’s grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise” (Romans 5:2 MSG).
Talk About It
How do you exhibit trust in God’s promise to work for your good?
What seemingly small steps of faith do you need to take today toward greater trust in God?
“You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.” (Romans 5:6 NIV)
You learn to trust God by obeying him in small ways.
You probably agree God is the supreme ruler of the universe, powerful enough to overcome any problem or defeat any enemy, that “everything comes from him; everything happens through him; everything ends up in him” (Romans 11:36 MSG).
And, if this is true, then your struggle to give it all to God is not over the issue of whether or not he’ll be able to fulfill his promises — he clearly can do that.
Perhaps the resistance you and I exhibit when we’re faced with trust is because we seriously doubt God will look out for our best interests: “Yes, I believe God can work this out, but will he?”
Or, “I know I can work this out, but I’m not sure God will — at least I’m not sure he will do it the way I want to see it done.”
God patiently understands your hesitancy. He made the first move toward establishing a loving, trusting relationship with you. He didn’t wait until you could be trusted to receive his love, and he doesn’t insist you become trustworthy before he trusts you with precious gifts (Romans 5:6-8).
God supports our small steps of faith. When we obey God, even in small ways, “we find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand — out in the wide open spaces of God’s grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise” (Romans 5:2 MSG).
Talk About It
How do you exhibit trust in God’s promise to work for your good?
What seemingly small steps of faith do you need to take today toward greater trust in God?
Jon Walker’s new book, Breakfast with Bonhoeffer, is a story of God’s faithfulness during struggles with bipolar disorder, divorce, and economic uncertainty.
How do you deal with shattered dreams and broken hearts in a marriage relationship?
Where can you find hope to rebuild the worn and damaged pieces? Find answers to help you bring restoration to your marriage as counselor Tim Jackson examines God’s original design for oneness in marriage.
Experience the shared wonder of God’s plan for your marriage, when you allow Him to rekindle the fire.
Discovery Series is part of the RBC Ministries family of resources. Offering more than 200 Bible-based teachings from the study of Scripture to topics on everyday life, this collection of writings is designed to promote spiritual growth and enrichment in your walk with Christ.Helping you to apply the life-changing wisdom of the Bible in every season of life is a hallmark of the Discovery Series. Within the pages of these booklets you’ll find biblical studies that reveal God’s heart for mankind. In addition to providing you with messages of encouragement and hope, these teachings also offer godly counsel to help you make wise decisions.
Filled with fresh perspectives on God’s Word and practical guidelines for application, each 32-page, easy-to-read booklet can be used for individual or group study. Take the journey to a deeper understanding of God and discover how you can live a complete and meaningful life.
The Discovery Series collection is available to you at no cost or obligation. All titles may be viewed online in PDF and printed copies of selected titles may also be ordered. A printed copy of the Discovery Series Resource Catalog, which contains a descriptive listing of all booklets, may be ordered or viewed/downloaded online in PDF.
We are grateful for the support given to RBC Ministries. Many people, making even the smallest of donations, enable us to reach others with the life-changing wisdom of the Bible. RBC Ministries is not funded or endowed by any group or denomination.
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