By Betty Miller
Song of Solomon 2:15 says, "Take us the foxes, the little foxes, that spoil the vines: for our vines have tender grapes." Foxes sometime in search of food would enter into the grape orchards and devour the grapes and spoil the crop. However, the little foxes were too small to reach the grape bunches so they would chew on the vines and it would kill the whole vine. Instead of the farmer just losing his crop, he would lose his vine which was more disastrous. Spiritually some things we do or allow that we might think are little or insignificant can also be disastrous for us.
One of the most devastating problems that has ensnared many good people is the sin of pornography. Many of these same people will testify that they were ensnared with just a "peek." This one "little fox" led to their downfall. Many, out of curiosity, just went to a site to see what was there. This is one of the devil's tricks to get people ensnared. Satan, is the power behind this attraction to forbidden sexual images. People that are trapped today can tell you there is an evil "drawing" that compels them to return again and again. Many are desiring to be free, but seem hopelessly gripped by this evil desire. We want to share the good news -- there is a way out through Jesus Christ.
In the U.S.A., as well as many other nations of the world, our societies have become the most sexually saturated societies in human history. Sodom and Gomorrah might be the only exceptions. America's pornography industry is not only pervasive, but powerful as well. It generates more than $12 billion in revenue annually. In 1997, more than 665 million pornographic videos were sold. On the Internet, there are more than 72,000 pornographic sites. Sexually explicit "900 number" phone calls are a $2.4 billion-a-year industry. ¹
From the Internet to video stores to magazines and "900 numbers," pornography can be easily accessed nearly anywhere in America. This involvement is not limited to world at large, as surveys reveal the Christian community is highly involved in this evil snare of perversion too. How did this happen? What can be done to help people get free from this bondage? What does the Bible offer as hope to those ensnared in sin?
God has called the church to be the answer to the problems facing those addicted to pornography. God hates this sin, but He loves the sinner and wants to set them free. Many marriages are being destroyed by this evil, as after the addiction of pornography has set in, then the normal marital relationship with their spouses is no longer satisfying. Many husbands then want their wives to partake in bizarre sexual behavior with them or use sexual toys as stimulants. Some couples even watch erotic videos together to arouse each other before they engage in sex. These abnormal approaches to what God intended to be a wonderful relationship, defiles them. Instead of finding satisfaction... guilt, shame, and dissatisfaction set in. True love and intimate sharing is replaced with raw lust. What God meant to be the most beautiful experience between two people becomes a hellish depravity. God can, and will restore this relationship if they will call on Him. There is absolutely nothing that is outside of God's ability to forgive, deliver, heal and restore.
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
How did our world arrive at a time in history that has so much emphasis on sexual perversions? This did not happen overnight. When the church failed to maintain a holy standard and example to the world, the world's evil influence gained momentum and now has saturated our society. Little by little, the church lowered her standards. Instead of the church influencing the world, the opposite happened, the world influenced the church. The church began to watch movies that each year became a little more dirty, a little more violent, a little more immoral, a little more deviant, a little more crazy and a little more erotic. Now today, there are unspeakable things on film that come directly from hell. They were inspired by the devil himself. These "little foxes" are now raging wolves. Sin and evil are progressive. Several layers of gray have now become black.
An example of how this happened in the area of women's dress, would be to observe the progression of women's styles. Women's hem lines have gone up while the necklines have gone down. It didn't start by going from ankle length to above the knees overnight. It took years for the ladies in the church to gradually adopt this revealing attire that others were wearing. Most Christian women on stage look no different than those in Hollywood. I am not saying that we should wear our hair in buns with no make-up. However we don't have to look like the women of the world. We can be stylish and attractive without being immodest and lustful in our dress. Today young girls come to prayer meetings in shorts and crop tops and never think any thing about it. Before you call me prudish ( I will admit I am old fashioned, yet in my school days we didn't experience the sexual violence that is happening today), let me share where I am going with this.
My husband and I, while pastoring the church, prayed with many young and not-so-young men, who were deeply disturbed as they were having problems keeping their minds on the Lord. The distraction ---- pretty young girls who would attend services in shorts, ultra tight jeans, short skirts, or low cut dresses. The men did not want these lustful feelings and were sincerely fighting to keep their thoughts pure. Most of the young girls were totally oblivious to the fact that they could be contributing to a man's temptation toward lust. I remember an incident when several people were gathered around a man to pray for him for healing. One of the young girls who wore a sleeveless and low cut top kneeled down at his feet while others stood in a circle around him to pray. I happened to be standing over her and looking down as we started to bow our heads and pray I could see her breasts above her low cut bra. The thought came to me how these young men must struggle to pray when they could see the same view as I saw.
WHAT CAN WOMEN DO TO HELP MEN GET FREE FROM THIS BONDAGE?
Most of the indulgence in porno is done by men, although some women come under its power too. However, since this affects everyone in the family, it is a family problem. It must be addressed as a family issue. One of the things that I believe women are doing today, that is adding to this problem, is the way in which they dress. The goal of many young girls today is not dressing to be well groomed and attractive, but rather to be sexy. Sex crimes and rapes have soared in numbers and women's dress habits have contributed to this problem. I believe because we have not taught our daughters to dress modestly it has contributed to these crimes. We must teach our sons and daughters morality and return to Bible standards if we are to see this problem reversed.
Men no longer have to go to houses of prostitution to see women's unclad bodies. They can go to any beach or public swimming pool in the world or just watch the ads on T.V. It is really a disgrace to the church when our young daughters are allowed to wear bikini swimsuits and many of the mothers wear them too. I am not excusing men and their porno habits but we women must also change if we expect the men to get free from their sin. The Bible speaks about how women should be attired:
Proverbs 11:22, "As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion."
1 Peter 3:1-5, "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands."
How To Be Free From Pornography
(1.) You need to first of all repent of your sin and ask Jesus to come into your heart and cleanse you and deliver you from this evil. No sin is too black or wicked that the blood of Jesus cannot cleanse you from it. The Bible says in:
1 John 1:9-10, 2:1-2: "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us. My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous: And he is the propitiation (the atoning sacrifice) for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world."
(2.) Because pornography is a spiritual problem you will need spiritual help in getting free from it. By partaking of this evil you have opened yourself up to demonic control. You may need someone who has the gift of the Holy Spirit to pray deliverance over you. You should seek out a Bible believing church that believes in deliverance and knows how to deal with demons. The Lord will lead you in this matter if you ask Him. Do not allow pride to prevent you from getting help and getting free if you need it.
James 4:7-8, "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded."
(3.) As you commit your life to Christ and obey Him you can get the victory because you are not fighting this battle alone, but you have access to the power of Christ and what He did for you.
Romans 6:12-18:
12 Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof.
13 Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God.
14 For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace.
15 What then? shall we sin, because we are not under the law, but under grace? God forbid.
16 Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness?
17 But God be thanked, that ye were the servants of sin, but ye have obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine which was delivered you.
18 Being then made free from sin, ye became the servants of righteousness.
(4.) Today men and women must war in this culture to maintain their sexual purity. This battle is a battle in the mind. You must cast down imaginations that do not agree with the Bible and quote the Word of God over your body and mind.
2 Corinthians 10:3-5 "For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ."
(5.) You must stay away from the area of temptation and destroy all videos, games, magazines, etc. that are pornographic. If you must use the computer in your work environment, you should employ a filter service for your ISP or software that filters out those evil invitations so they do not enter your e-mail and cannot be accessed by your browser.
1 Corinthians 6:18-20: "Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's."
(6.) Should you stumble or fall, do not stay down. Just ask the Lord to forgive you and start again in your walk with Him. Ask Him to empower you to overcome. You cannot do it in your strength. Just remember that in Him you can do all things.
Philippians 4:13: "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."
(7.) If you need prayer we will stand with you for your victory. You can write us through the prayer room. You need not give your name. The Lord will know who you are. Remember, the Lord loves you and so do we. Blessings! Contact us through the PRAYER ROOM.
(8.) If your life or marriage has been devastated by sexual addiction we highly recommend a book that has been helpful to many called An Affair of the Mind by Laurie Hall. This amazing book is published by Focus On The Family and written from the first-hand perspective of a wife whose husband was addicted to pornography for over 20 years. This powerful book delves deep into many facets of sexual addiction. The principles in this book, if applied, can save many marriages and restore even those who are most bound to sexual addiction.
In summation, many are snared by just a "peek" or just a little curiosity in regard to pornography. Don't allow any little things that could lead to a pornography addiction. Calendars or pictures of naked women, Playboy magazines or movies with erotic sexual scenes are just a few of the things that can open the door for a greater entanglement into the pornography trap.
End Notes:
¹Chris Mitchell, CBN News Reporter. Fact File Resource, Air Date: November 10, 1998
An Affair of the Mind by Laurie Hall
If you are struggling with this problem there is an excellent book that could be of help to you. Published by Focus On The Family and written from the first-hand perspective of a wife whose husband was addicted to pornography for over 20 years, this powerful book delves deep into many facets of sexual addiction. The principles in this book, if applied, can save any marriage and restore even those who are most bound to sexual addiction. The author shares candidly of her struggles as she sought the Lord for the salvation of her marriage and restoration of her husband. The things she learned from the Holy Spirit along the way will minister to every person who reads the book. It will help both husbands and wives.
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You can also find help at the following sites so you can get free from pornography and find healing if you are sexually and relationally broken:
Love Lines: http://www.lovelines.org Help in getting free from sexual addictions.
Pure Intimacy: http://www.pureintimacy.org/
Mastering Life Ministries: http://masteringlife.gospelcom.net/
Desert Streams: http://www.desertstream.org
This is a California-based Christian organization which offers programs for people seeking sexual and relational wholeness and healing.
Betty Miller has written several books on other topics as well. To view titles or purchase those books click here: http://store.bible.com/
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