Do You Have "I" Issues?

By Jennifer Rothschild

"He must become greater; I must become less." John 3:30 (NIV)

In the late '70s I sat with my folks in a hospital room in the Bascom Palmer Eye Institute. The doctors who had just completed tests on my eyes were explaining what it meant to have retinitis pigmentosa. They described how I would slowly lose my remaining sight and eventually be totally blind. My mind raced and my heart welled with confusing emotions. I was silent in that hospital room that day.

A few days later at my next visit, I only wish I had been silent.

We went back to the same room with some of the same doctors. This time it was to help me get on a rehabilitative program. One doctor described how large, thick glasses might help with the little vision I still had. Another discussed walking with a cane. Another doctor told me how important it was for me to have an oversized magnifying glass and advised me to use a flashlight to find my locker at school.

They stepped out of the room, and with full adolescent belligerence I ranted to my parents. "I will not wear any of that junk or use that embarrassing stuff! No way! I will not look weird!"

Just as I finished my outburst, the door opened and my new rehab counselor "rolled" in. Being legally blind, I couldn't see him well enough to detect what my mom described to me later.

He was blind in one eye, his face was disfigured, he was missing an arm, and his legs evidently weren't functional. What I could detect, even without sight, was that his voice was only audible by using an apparatus that made it sound synthesized.

Unfortunately he arrived just in time to hear my tirade about looking weird.

I was mortified by how self-centered I acted. I was humiliated by my own smallness and pride. I know he was a professional who most likely understood my immature response, but he also was a man who had lost his former physique and abilities, and who probably felt "weird" when he looked in the mirror. I was so ashamed.

I was only a few days into learning to live with blindness when I received my first lesson: when I am most self-aware, I am most miserable. Even today, as a 48-year-old woman, I still feel tinges of self-pity, self-awareness and self-absorption.

"I don't feel that's fair to me."
"Do I look okay in these jeans?"
"I don't think she likes me."
"I look weird when I can't make eye contact. I don't want people to notice."
"I need, I want, I wish."

When a big "I" is the center of our thoughts and feelings, we truly are miserable!

Perhaps that's because "I" is also in the center of pride and sin. Ouch!

Jesus said in John 12:24 that "... unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone." Alone is a miserable place to be.

"But," Christ continued, "if it dies, it bears much fruit." (ESV) The principle is this: when it is all about us, we are like that seed that is unwilling to die. Consequently, we find ourselves alone in the prison of our own self-awareness. But, when we are willing to turn our big "I" into a little "I," we are then ready to experience real life, satisfying life.

God is teaching me that true self-esteem comes from being reduced—less of me, more of Him. As I am willing to relinquish my sense of self—self-pity, self-awareness and self-absorption—I am finding simplicity in an identity that comes from His life in me, rather than an identity based upon me, myself and I.

Today, let's choose to be more full of God than we are of ourselves.

Dear Lord, I want to decrease so You will increase in me. May I be like a seed, willing to die, so I can truly live and give life to others. May my letter "I" not be in pride or sin, but may it be found in Christ. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Do You Know Jesus?

Missing Pieces: Real Hope When Life Doesn't Make Sense by Jennifer Rothschild

Me, Myself and Lies: A Thought-Closet Makeover by Jennifer Rothschild

Read more encouragement from Jennifer by clicking here.

Reflect and Respond:
Ways to shrink your letter "I":
1. Focus on someone else's needs. Yours will feel less obvious.
2. Grant someone else the attention you are trying to get for yourself.
3. Begin your day with this question, "How may I serve You today, Lord?"

Power Verses:
Matthew 22:37-39: "Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" (NIV)

Psalm 27:8: "My heart says of you, 'Seek his face!' Your face, Lord, I will seek." (NIV)

Philippians 2:3-4: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." (NIV)

My name is Jennifer Rothschild – with a silent “s”.  I am an author, speaker, Bible study teacher, wife and Mom.  And, I happen to be blind.

I write about real life and share what I’m learning from a real God.  My goal is to create inspiring, relevant, and practical content that will empower you to live out a tenacious faith.

te-na-cious: [tuh-ney-shuhs] adjective 1. holding fast; characterized by keeping a firm hold

When it comes to faith, I don’t like fake, shallow or irrelevant; so you won’t get that here!

I do like to laugh, think and be happy; so, you will get a Venti Size of that from me! The best gift I can give you is my most honest self.So, not everything I write is tied with a neat Christian bow, but it will always be tied to my deep trust in the God I love.

Some people think I’m poised, polished, graceful, and have it all together. You can thank my mother for all that! Anything that suggests I have it all together is not telling the whole story. By the grace of God I am what I am.  I live my life with a little bit of grit and a whole lot of God’s grace.

I can teach you something about having grit – because I must have it to survive my world. But, I’ll also point you to God’s grace more often (because we all need that to survive our world).

If you’re a woman who wants to know God more; live life better; think more deeply; get practical tips for practically everything, then this blog is for you.

When you visit me here, I want you to feel like you just walked into a warm cozy coffee shop where you can hang out and feel loved and welcome! We can share our perspectives about life and faith to help us think, grow and stay encouraged.

And, I’ll always ‘Spill the Beans’ if you ask me a question!

Growing up, I lived in Clearwater Florida, Costa Rica and Miami. I graduated from Palm Beach Atlantic University (home of the fighting Sailfish) in 1986 with a BA in Psychology, and minor in Communication. I married my college sweetheart when I graduated and now, for the past 26 years I call him my own personal Dr. Phil (since he has his PhD!) We have 2 sons. Clayton was born in 1989 and Connor was born in 1998 — yes, they’re almost ten years apart! In May of 2012, we finally got a daughter—Clayton married his college sweetheart recently and our whole family is so grateful. Caroline Gear Rothschild is a delightful addition to the family. Phil, Connor and I live in Springfield Missouri; Clayton and Caroline are in Texas. The actual head of our home, so she thinks, is our very prissy Shih-tzu, Lucy. She usually wears pink bows on her well-trimmed ears and eats from shiny food bowls with crowns embossed on them! She refuses to place her paws on wet grass and has never met a stranger.

I love thin crust veggie pizza, dark chocolate, coffee, interesting conversations and reading books by dead authors…I’m most crazy about CS Lewis but Henry James and Jane Austen are close seconds! Joni Eareckson Tada totally inspires me to keep walking by faith.  And Michael O’Brien’s music uplifts me and brings me joy.  I’ve been known to get a little over zealous about The Antique Road Show, American Idol and Georgia Bulldog football.

I’ve written 9 books and Bible studies and recorded several CD’s.  Lessons I Learned in the Dark has been a best seller along with the popular Self Talk, Soul Talk: What to Say When You Talk to Yourself. 

I’ve had the privilege of appearing on Good Morning America, Dr. Phil, Life Today and the Billy Graham Television Special. I travel between 25-30 times each year to speak to groups — mostly women.  I also love to bring Fresh Grounded Faith to different parts of the country about 10 times a year.  These are my own conferences where local churches come together and bring a kingdom minded event to their community.  It’s always a time of refreshment and healing for women.

My Dr. Phil and I founded womensministry.net in 1998.  It’s an on-line magazine for women in leadership with over 25,000 subscribers.

And, did I mention I’m blind? I lost most of my sight as a 15-year-old girl due to a rare form of the disease Retinitis Pigmentosa.  I have now lived longer in physical darkness than I ever did in physical light.  Blindness is hard, but it’s been a place where God has shown Himself to be so kind, strong and faithful.   That’s why I do what I do—Because God has made it well with my soul and I want others to experience the same kind of peace.

This may not be a typical part of a bio but I just must include this last fact. Ministry for me has been received, not achieved.  Where I am is where God placed me. What I apparently have accomplished is just what God has provided and brought to fruition. So, my bio is just a few chapters of His story. And, I hope He’ll keep writing it for years to come because I want to be a centenarian! (Okay, I like big words, but I’ll keep them to a minimum in the blog.  But, “centenarian” was just too good to pass up!)

Thanks for stopping by– As you get to know me better, I hope you’ll let me get to know you too as you leave comments and ask questions.

May it always be well with your soul.

For Jennifer Rothschild, these words are much more than the lyrics from a familiar hymn; they represent a foundation upon which many life lessons have been learned…in the dark.

At the young age of fifteen, Jennifer was diagnosed with a rare, degenerative eye disease that would eventually steal her sight. It was more than a turning point for the Miami, Fl, native. Her dreams of becoming a commercial artist and cartoonist faded. Words and music have replaced her canvas and palette for more than 25 years.

Known for her substance, and a down-to-earth style, Jennifer weaves together colorful illustrations, universal principles, and music to help audiences find contentment, walk with endurance, and celebrate the ordinary. Through her signature wit and poignant story-telling, audiences are prompted to look beyond their circumstances to find unique “gifts,” in unusual packaging.

Jennifer has taken her message of encouragement across the country speaking at national and regional gatherings of busy professionals, dedicated volunteers, and overwhelmed moms and dads.  Jennifer has been a featured speaker for the nation’s largest conference for women,Women of Faith, and has teamed up with Beth Moore and others to lead national women’s conferences. Thousands have come away with a new vision for their work, their family, and their future.

Jennifer’s  newest curriculum resource is the DVD-based Bible study Missing Pieces: Real Hope When Life Doesn’t Make Sense. She is the author of nine books with combined sales of over a half-million units, including the best-selling Lesson I Learned in the Dark and Self Talk, Soul Talk, and the popular DVD-enhanced curriculum products entitled Walking by Faith and Me, Myself and Lies. In addition to her writing and speaking, Jennifer is an accomplished songwriter and recording artist, with six albums to her credit – includingWalking by Faith: The Music Captured Live, Along the Way, and others.

Jennifer has been featured on Dr. Phil, ABC’s Good Morning America, and the Billy Graham Television Special, and on other national TV and radio programs including Hour of Power, Life Today, Family Life Radio, TBN, and others. Her life story and message has been the cover story of numerous national publications including Today’s Christian Woman, Virtuemagazine, Becoming Family magazine, HomeLife magazine, and others.

Jennifer is also founder and publisher of the popular online magazine, womensministry.net. She resides in Springfield, Missouri with her husband of 21 years, Dr. Philip Rothschild, and their two sons Clayton and Connor. She enjoys nature walks, visits to theme parks, and riding a bicycle built for two. She got a real charge singing the national anthem for the Atlanta Braves and bungee-jumping from seven and a half stories. In addition to collecting Depression glass and enjoying movies, she loves classical music, dark chocolate, and the smell of a hazelnut-coffee candle.

Jennifer Rothschild Ministries
4319 S National Ave, Suite 303
Springfield, MO 65810
417.888.2067

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