TEACHING KIDS TO PRAY: THE FIVE FINGER METHOD

By Sheila

When Katie was two, we were teaching her how to say grace. She had just finished up when Keith leaned over and whispered to her, “tell Mommy she’s pretty.” Katie promptly put both hands together again, closed her eyes, and said, “Dear God, please make Mommy pretty. Amen.”

But most of my girls’ prayers tend towards this: “Thank you that we had a good day today. Please help us to have fun tomorrow! Amen.”

Granted, it’s not that bad, but you know what I mean.

And I have decided this isn’t good enough. So here is our plan to really teach them to pray:

1. Model Prayer for Your Children
Kids aren’t going to learn heartfelt prayers until we pray heartfelt prayers in front of them. So every night, after dinner, have a mini-prayer session where you do pray earnestly for something important for your family: a family member who needs God, a financial situation, a personality conflict. Something. When they hear you praying for someone, they learn how to do it, too!

2. Teach Different Types of Prayer
We are starting a new program where we are encouraging them to branch out in prayer. Different variations for this exist, but here’s one I’m working on. Look at your hand. If you notice, you have five fingers. Have the kids hold up their hands, and for each type of prayer they can lift up a finger until their whole hand is up.

1. Praise
Thank God for Who He is, for something about Him, for something He has made.

2. Thanksgiving
Thank God for something that He has done for you today. Encourage the children to make this as specific as possible. Not just, “Thank you for my mommy,” but “Thank you for giving me a Mommy who comes to my hockey game,” or “Thank you for Mommy who hugs me.”

3. Request for Someone Else
Ask God something. Again, make it specific. No “feed all the children” stuff, unless they’re really young. It’s better to ask God to give money to a family you know, or to help your sponsored child and his or her family, or to help someone you know who is sick. If there’s an ongoing need, pray for that every night. But try to encourage them to pray for something new, too.

For instance, we have a close friend whose five-year-old daughter is going through treatment for leukemia right now. We’re praying for her everyday, and then adding other requests, too.

4. Confession
What did you do wrong today? Hint: Kids are far more willing to pray this if you model it. Whenever you mess up, immediately confess it to God in front of them. If they see you doing it, they won’t feel so uncomfortable about doing it, either. And don’t let them say, “Forgive me for being selfish.” Always encourage them to use “when” statements: “Forgive me for being selfish when I wouldn’t share my lego.”

5. Request for You
I think this one should always come last, because the other prayers help get our hearts in line with God. Then you’re in a better place to make your own requests.

But this one can be tough. It’s fine for kids to ask for something for themselves. But make sure it’s not treating God like Santa Claus. No “God, please give me a new bike.” Ask them what their biggest struggle is. Maybe it’s getting along with a sibling, or a teacher they don’t like, or figuring out math. Pray about that.

Now all five fingers are up, and kids haven’t yet said, “help me to have fun tomorrow!” So you’re well on your way to raising prayer warriors! Congratulations, and don’t give up!

Do you want to help your children memorize Bible verses, too? Here are verses to get you started!

http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2011/01/50-most-important-bible-verses-to/

ABOUT

Sheila Wray Gregoire loves family. She loves her family, including her three children (one in heaven) and her husband; and she loves that God made families as the primary vehicle to show His love. Probably part of this love stems from the fact that growing up, family wasn’t healthy. Her dad left when she was two, and Sheila saw the damage that divorce does, even though her mom was amazing (and still is, as they take missions trips together!) So her passion in this life is to help strengthen families–to equip women to be the best wives and mothers they can be, and especially to cultivate marriages that are rock solid.

Sheila has written four books for women, including To Love, Honor and Vacuum: When you feel more like a maid than a wife and a mother, and she has another coming out with Zondervan soon. She also writes a weekly parenting column, and speaks at women’s events and marriage conferences around North America. Usually, though, you can find her at home, where she homeschools her two daughters. And knits. Preferably simultaneously!

Sheila blogs daily at http://tolovehonorandvacuum.blogspot.com (To Love, Honor and Vacuum), and you can find her on Twitter (http://twitter.com/sheilagregoire) and on Facebook (http://facebook.com/sheila.gregoire.books).

Also…

Interests

    Knitting
    Camping
    Traveling to Africa!

Favorite Movies

    Pride and Prejudice (the BBC version)
    Band of Brothers (to show that I'm a little strange)
    Bed of Roses
    Lord of the Rings
    Sense and Sensibility

Favorite Music

    Third Day
    Mercy Me
    Martina McBride
    Terri Clark
    Sugarland

Favorite Books

    Anything by Jane Austen (especially P&P)
    Francine Rivers' The Mark of the Lion series
    the Thoene's series on World War II and Jerusalem

http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2008/12/do-your-kids-pray-ridiculous-prayers/