Is Achieving Orgasm as Simple as It Sounds?

  Vanessa Pinto

Would it surprise you to know that people can achieve orgasm when they are brain dead, or that you don't necessarily need genitals to orgasm? Mary Roach's TED talk, "10 Things You Didn't Know About Orgasm" isn't just an eye opener, it's also really funny. As I continue to research and interview professionals about sex, sexual response and the things our bodies are capable of, I never cease to be amazed. According to Roach, when it comes to how you achieve orgasm, the world is your oyster and the sky is the limit. Roach even discusses how one woman could think herself to orgasm.

Our school-district-approved sex-ed class in junior high never taught me about orgasm; it's usually something we discover along our own sexual journey or even completely by accident. My sex education as a student in junior high lectured me about my menstrual cycle, how one becomes pregnant with a sterile diagram of internal organs and that sexually transmitted infections were waiting to use me as a host. There was never a point where anyone taught me the how and why of how my body worked when it came to sexual pleasure or that it was even an option.

Am I Ready For Sex?: 7 Things To Think About

By Katie Naymon in SEXUAL HEALTH

Whether you’re a virgin or are contemplating having sex with a new partner, first times can be nerve-wracking. There are many factors to consider, both emotional and physical. We talked to Heather Corinna, founder and executive director of Scarleteen, an independent, grassroots sexuality education and support organization and website. Corinna is a sexuality, contraception and abortion educator and counselor as well as a writer and activist. Read on for her and collegiettes’ advice on how to know when you’re ready for sex.

When is the right time to have sex in a relationship?

Some girls wait until marriage, some wait a few months and some just a few dates. There’s no recommended timeline—the right time to have sex is when you and your partner feel ready. Eva, a collegiette at Colby College, decided to lose her virginity a month into hooking up with the girl she liked. She says you know it’s a good time to have sex “once you stop thinking about it and don't doubt the person and trust they're on the same page,” she says. “I had a first time that was genuinely lovely. We fell hard and fast.” For others, it takes a bit longer to get comfortable. Veronica, a collegiette at Johns Hopkins, has dated her boyfriend for four months but has decided to wait to have sex. “I want to make sure I’m in love. I don’t want to have any doubts about it. You hear about a lot of people who do it and then regret it,” she says.

Wings on the wind

How do migrating birds know exactly when, and where, to go?
by David Catchpoole

Photo: stock.xchng

Imagine if, when you were very young and were utterly dependent on your parents for protection and food, they had abandoned you suddenly to go overseas? Without any written instructions as to where they’d gone, would you have been able to follow their path once you’d grown strong enough to try?

Sound impossible? Not for the Bristle-thighed Curlew! When the chicks are just five weeks old, the parents depart, heading for the tropics.¹ Left behind in the marshes of the Alaska Peninsula, the chicks gorge themselves on berries and insects. As their little bodies become stronger, accumulating the all-important reserves of fat—fuel for the long journey ahead—they frequently take to the air for short flights, as if in premigratory practice.

Has AIDS evolved?

by Carl Wieland

They can conquer smallpox, so why not AIDS?

Indeed, why not the common cold? Smallpox was (hopefully) overcome by vaccines. These are specific substances which are used to trigger the body’s ‘soldier factories’ into making lots of ‘soldiers’ (antibodies) which are designed to kill only a specific, particular type of virus before it can do much damage. (Smallpox, AIDS and the common cold are caused by various types of viruses—AIDS is caused by a virus called HIV, Human Immunodeficiency Virus.)

The reason why vaccines have not succeeded in eliminating influenza, for example, is because the viruses change. Soldiers trained to attack only enemies in grey uniforms will be useless if the enemy changes into blue uniforms. Effective vaccines against particular strains of flu virus constantly need to be updated for this reason.

The same potential problem plagues the development of an effective vaccine against HIV. As the virus multiplies, the ‘copies’ which are made of it often have copying mistakes (mutations) which can change those parts of the virus that your body’s defences are geared to recognize. Only a very small change may be enough—a change which otherwise is completely irrelevant to the structure or function of the virus. So a ‘new strain’ emerges, and although you were able to fight off the first one, now you can’t.

Could monkeys type the 23rd Psalm?

by Russell Grigg

Images Wikipedia.org

Thomas Huxley (left) and Bishop Samuel Wilberforce, the protagonists at the famous debate on the subject of evolution at the Oxford meeting of the British Association, June 30, 1860

On 30 June 1860, there occurred an event which, in the minds of many people, was the turning point for the public acceptance of the theory of evolution in its confrontation with Christianity. This event was the debate between the agnostic Thomas Huxley, who came to be known as ‘Darwin’s bulldog’, and the Anglican Bishop of Oxford, Samuel Wilberforce, son of the famous anti-slavery politician, William Wilberforce. The debate was held at a meeting of the British Association, Oxford, of which Bishop Wilberforce was a vice-president, and was sparked by the publication of Charles Darwin’s Origin of Species seven months earlier, in November 1859.

Why Sex?

Response to the PBS-TV series Evolution

Episode 5: Why Sex?

by Jonathan Sarfati, CMI Australia

This episode was one of the most revealing about the conflicts between evolution and Christianity. The usual propaganda is that ‘science’ (stipulatively defined as evolution) is about facts/evidence or ‘how’ questions, while religion deals with values/faith/morals or ‘why’ questions. As explained in the Rebuttal to Episode 1, this is a faulty distinction, and this episode demonstrates this. Here, evolutionary psychology directly affects questions of sexual morality.

The program also spends much time discussing the advantages of a fully functional sexual reproductive system, but misleadingly implies that this is sufficient to explain its origin.

Sex is said to be more important than life itself, since it enables genes to be passed on to succeeding generations. Rutgers University evolutionary geneticist Robert Vrijenhoek even said:

Here there be dragons … but no centaurs

Wikimedia commons/Pearson Scott Foresman

What’s the difference between believing in centaurs and believing in dragons? Jamie L. from Australia writes in response to The Year the Water Dragon Roared:

I am a Christian and a subscriber to your magazine. I would love to find more evidence that supports our view of a creator and loving God, however sometimes I think we are just reaching. If we use this kind of rationale, we could also perhaps say that the Egyptians knew of half men half horse centaurs. I think we can do better than this, don’t you?

8 Ways to Unleash Your Inner Hot Mama

By Norine Dworkin-McDaniel, Special to LifeScript

You had a baby. Congratulations! Now you’re somebody’s mom. But that doesn’t mean you have to turn into your mother. There’s no reason to surrender your playful, flirty, lusty side just because you’re pushing a stroller. Even if you’re a mom who gets drooled on, you can still be a woman men drool over. Here are 8 essentials that can help you become a smokin’ hot mama...

1. Get your body back.
Of course, no one expected you to sashay out of the hospital wearing skinny jeans, newborn in arms. It took 10 months to put that weight on; it’ll certainly take time to whittle it off.

But if it’s been a few years now, and your “baby” is starting kindergarten (or graduate school!), it’s time to stop pretending that’s pregnancy weight clinging to your hips. Real women do have curves, but you know if you’ve crossed over to frumpy dumpling.

Slim down slowly and take heart in knowing that you gained your weight creating another human being – not because of an uncontrollable urge for Twinkies.

Sex or a Good Night’s Sleep?

Discover Your Libido Type

By Dana Demas, Special to LifeScript

Are you and your partner in a sex slump? Different lovemaking styles may be to blame. In her new book When Your Sex Drives Don’t Match (Marlowe & Company, 2007), sex therapist Sandra Pertot says that different libido types can lead to anxiety in the bedroom. So, what’s your sex type? Plus, find out how your sex life measures up with our quiz…
       

In the beginning of a relationship, you can’t get enough of each other.

Every touch is a revelation.

Every glance is foreplay.

It’s the best of times for hot, exciting sex because you’re so new to each other.

How can we as a couple handle the sexual cravings before we get married?

By Gary Chapman
Q: “We are a Christian engaged couple growing in our walk with God. However, we are not virgins and this is the first time both us are actively pursuing abstinence under Gods leadership. We have confessed all of our past histories to each other and are pursuing individual accountability partners. Since we’re engaged is it wrong to look forward to the physical stuff? We are both very much attracted to each other and enjoy looking at each other. Our combined love language is physical touch. We know this will be brilliant when we’re married. But right now, it’s pure torture. We both are aware that we’re living the consequences of our previous sin because we know what sex is like. The pure torture bit is this: Lusting over a man/woman equals bad. Lusting over spouse equals excellent. We very much feel stuck in the no man’s land here. Our wedding is 7 months away and the last thing we want to do is elope because we cracked. We want our testimony to mean something for other people struggling with the no sex thing and most of all we want to honor God. Is there anything else we can do to help us remain pure and keep our testimony?

Why Beyonce Is Not A Role Model for Today's Youth

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For many girls, the Super Bowl performances on Sunday were a celebration of femininity and girl power. Talented artists like Beyoncé Knowles, Kelly Rowland, Michelle Williams, Alicia Keys and Jennifer Hudson sang and danced on the media’s largest stage of the year: The Super Bowl. But imagine with me for a moment if all of this star power, talent, femininity and glamour was used to exalt the name of Jesus.

How amazing would that be?

I want to show you the difference between two performers, Jennifer Hudson and Beyoncé. They had the same audience, same platform, yet completely different showmanship and performances.

9 Interesting Things You May Not Know About the Clitoris

You'd be surprised.

You know that tiny feel-good button between a woman's legs? That’s the clitoris and, speaking figuratively, it's anything but tiny. In fact, it's a powerful organ of sexual pleasure that comes complete with a surprising number of fun facts. You'll be surprised by how much this tiny organ's got going on under the hood. Here's a list of our top picks. (For more amazing info, "Woman: An Intimate Geography" is a great resource.)

It's Exquisitely Sensitive

The clitoris contains at least 8,000 sensory nerve endings. To put that into perspective, the penis has about 4,000. That makes this tiny area the most sensitive part of a woman’s erogenous zone. And while the clitoris is quite small, its powerful sensations can spread across a woman's pelvic area by affecting 15,000 other nerve endings!

It's Bigger Than You Think

Can Someone Die of Laughter?

It is possible to die of laughter, though it's uncommon, and most people who do die from it have underlying health conditions. Laughing can cause a person's heart rate to increase to dangerous levels or to become irregular, causing a fatal heart attack. It can also trigger a rupture of a brain aneurysms, since it increases the pressure in the head; or, it can cause hernias to strangulate. Other people have reportedly died from suffocation caused by not being able to stop laughing long enough to breathe.

More about laughter:

• Laughter can have other health effects as well, including cataplexy, a condition in which a person has sudden muscle weakness because of laughing or experiencing extreme emotions. It can also result in laughter-induced syncope, a condition that causes people to faint when they laugh.

Inaugural Prayer Service Invites Foreign Gods

ADELLE M. BANKS/RNS

President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama enter the Washington National Cathederal for the Inaugural Prayer Service on January 22, 2013. (RNS photo by Donovan Marks/courtesy the Washington National Cathedral.)

President Obama started his second term with a worship service and a challenge to help heal the nation’s divides.

“We find ourselves desperately longing to find common ground, to find a common vision, to be one nation indivisible with liberty and justice for everyone,” said Adam Hamilton, the Kansas City pastor chosen to preach Tuesday at the National Prayer Service at Washington National Cathedral. “In this city and in this room, are the people who can help.”

The inaugural service carried that theme for more than an hour, presenting the nation’s rainbow of faiths and cultures with a bilingual welcome and reading from the Gospel of Matthew, and an imam and Christian and Jewish cantors taking turns calling the congregation to prayer.

Sex Symbols Who Speak in Tongues?

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Megan Fox says she prays in tongues. Should we judge that utterance? (Facebook)

I was at the grocery store the other day when I was unexpectedly confronted with an adult-oriented magazine located right next to the vitamin section. I immediately had to look away from the front cover, which featured a scantily clad, seductively posed, sex symbol. Yet it was only a few weeks ago that I read an article about how this same sex symbol loves to speak in tongues and has to restrain herself from outbursts in tongues while attending church services. What?

This is actually a perfect illustration of American charismatic Christianity, where you can say you love Jesus (like the rapper “The Game” claims to do) and still frequent strip clubs (as “The Game” still does), or where you can flow in the gifts of the Spirit and become a made-for-TV preaching sensation, only to announce that God told you that you married the wrong woman, leading to a quick divorce and remarriage.

Are Moms Supposed to Want to Be MILFs Now?

Tracy Moore

Has anyone ever actually taken the term MILF seriously as a desirable thing? Given that it has its origins in teenage boy lust (American Pie) and porn*, where every possible type of sexual appeal clearly needs a convenient shorthand for ease of boner, it seems most of us have simply begrudgingly acknowledged the term's existence in the porn store aisle of life with a quick side eye, then plowed on, eyes facing forward lest we linger too long on the unsavory implications therein.

At least, that's what I thought. I mean, sure, I've seen women wearing MILF T-shirts, and I've heard men and women alike use the term without a trace of sarcasm, and I'm sure they are nice, lovely people. But people who take their pop culture cues from horny dudes are not usually the people I look to for signs of a significant linguistic shift in the culture, proof that now we have embraced the term as one of our own. That would take a lobotomy more convincing argument. But lo and behold, someone has helmed the steam locomotive of Making the Term MILF Desirable, and has done so with (allegedly) the most feminist (if not entrepreneurial) of intentions: a diet book. Fine, I'll bite:

Enjoying Sex as a Big Woman

Elaine is a “fat” female actor, who complains that she is never asked to act out sex scenes. Even though her work is highly respected, and she is often given lead roles, she claims that the audience has been taught that sex with a fat woman is not aesthetic and therefore she is prevented from getting expressly sexual on screen.

At best, Elaine is allowed to appear in bed in an “after-sex” scene, but the covers have to be well pulled up, so that very little flesh is exposed. She is a very alluring woman, but her magic has been decommissioned.

“Fat” is a judgment that varies over time and place. The hotties of 17th century Europe are flabby whales by current European standards. The babes of tribal Africa are known as “big mamas” these days.

Rereading Woman’s Erotica: Empowerment of Smut?

The search for truly enlightened erotic literature may not be a lost battle, but it certainly is a mission. With all the so-called liberation of erotica following the 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon, the question is begged, is the contemporary erotica really putting women and our sexuality in a better place than the written word (and, for that matter, the pictures) in Penthouse magazine?

It would be almost sacrilege to begin a discussion of contemporary woman’s erotica without a tribute to 50 Shades. Erotic it certainly is, and obviously it speaks to women. Book sale records attest to that. But feminist it certainly is not. Empowering, I think not. This critique is not coming from a place of sanctimony; rather, from a sex education perspective because the 50 Shades commotion is taking us 40 years backwards. It undoes a generation and a half of sexual empowerment when it returns all the gender stereotypes to the heroine and gives her a multi-orgasmic Cinderella ending. As if princes, instantaneous orgasms and complete sexual compatibility come to all girl-next-door virgins on cue.

Justin Bieber's Sex Life: How The Singer Gets Women Into Bed (REPORT)

In case you haven't heard, Justin Bieber is apparently quite the casanova.

Following reports that he cheated on Selena Gomez with Rihanna in 2011, comes word of how the young Romeo snags the ladies.

Gone are the days renting out the entire Staples Center to watch a movie, Star magazine reports that Bieber's seduction strategy now includes cars, booze and romantic views.

Smart phone app shows men how their penises measure up to world sizes

By David Ferguson

A smart phone app for iPhone and Android shows men how the size of their penis compares to other men’s in the world. According to U.K. technology magazine TNT, the app is designed to help men find a better fitting condom.

The American Sexual Health Association has said that poor-fitting condoms are a leading reason why some men prefer not to use them. While most men are comfortable using condoms, men who find them too loose or tight or too short or long tend to use them less often, contributing to the spread of sexually transmitted diseases. A study published by Indiana University sex researchers said that the belief that sex is more pleasurable without a condom is actually a myth.

Women’s Preferences

Penis size unimportant to most women. Really.

What importance do women attribute to the size of the penis?

Eur Urol. 2002 Nov;42(5):426-31.
Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology, Groningen University Hospital, P.O. Box 30.001, 9700 RB Groningen, The Netherlands.

Abstract

OBJECTIVE:
A great deal of men consider that the size of the penis is directly proportional to its sexual power. Some men, who are worried that their penis is too small, wish to be considered for surgical lengthening or thickening procedures. The argumentation for this chiefly points in the direction of women. However, have women actually been asked about the extent to which they consider the size of the penis to be of importance from a sexual point of view? Or asked what they think about ideas surrounding the size of the penis in relation with actual sexual functioning?

Penis Shower VS. Grower Explained

Flaccid length no predictor of erect length, study finds.

Here we explain the whole penis SHOWERS VS. GROWERS phenomenon:

SHOWERS: a penis that is disproportionally big when flaccid relative to the final erect length.

GROWERS: a penis that is disproportionally small when flaccid relative to the final erect length.

Showers have caused young men a little angst over the years. One problem is they do not understand that most penis are close to the same length when erect. Thus, when they see a man (who happens to be a shower) with a bigger flaccid penis than them, they falsely assume his penis is much bigger than theirs when erect. In fact the range of penis size is small enough that that is unlikely. It is more likely they are a grower and will have a greater increase in length from flaccid to erect than the other man.

Will Smoking Affect My Penis?

Smoking and Erectile Dysfunction

The CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) highlights some of the effects smoking can have on male reproductive health:

Smoking might damage the DNA in men’s sperm that might lead to infertility

Smoking might damage the DNA in men’s sperm that might lead to miscarriage

Smoking may be associated with an increased risk of erectile dysfunction

Smoking may affect the amount of semen and sperm production

Smoking may affect sperm quality

Does Circumcision Affect Pleasure?

Circumcision does not affect performance or satisfaction as noted in various studies. 

The overall prevalence of circumcision [In the USA] was 79% and varied by race/ethnicity:

88% in non-Hispanic whites

73% in non-Hispanic blacks

42% in Mexican Americans

50% in all others

Review article in the journal AIDS in 2000 showed a reduced risk of HIV infection of 44% among circumcised men as compared to uncircumcised men.

Why Is There Controversy Around Penis Length?

Ever feel like you’ve read one penis article too many? Lets talk about where men get their facts on penis length:

THEIR FRIENDS

Let's start with friends. Although they might have the best of intentions, or not, there aren’t many people with enough real knowledge on male anatomy to really give a reasonable answer over beers or while changing beside you in the locker room. They have more reasons to make up answers than expose themselves by sharing what they either really think or what length they really are when erect.

THE INTERNET

There are more lies and jokes on the internet about penises than real facts. Most of the effort is put towards fanning the misunderstanding of normal penis size. This is meant to inflame anxiety in young men, who then are vulnerable to buy the bogus products falsely claiming to be able to grow their penises. None of them work!

Why Do Porn Stars Have Big Penises?

They don’t have big penises because they are in porn, they are in porn because they have big penises.

Here we find the few men with penises that are off the chart. They are like the NBA stars of the world. Wishing for their sized penis is like wishing you would grow another foot to be better at basketball. Thankfully, you don’t need a 8 inch penis to be better in the love department! Sex accepts all comers!

It is accepted that pornographic and advertising images play a role in male and female self esteem – usually harming them. The fact that young men and women watch porn and then assume what they see is what they should expect to find, or expected to be, is generally harmful.

Stop Having Sex? I Did It -- For A Year

Audrey Bellis

Owner, The Bella Bambino

I gave up sex and dating. I gave it up just like I would give up chocolate for Lent. It was a very deliberate and conscious choice.

At the time, I had just turned 24, and was fresh off the heels of a broken engagement and sending out the "I'm sorry, I'm no longer getting married so here is your gift back" announcements. I was grieving, and I was lost.

I didn't realize I was on a downward spiral, I thought I was just rebounding. Everyone wanted to take me out for a drink, introduce me to their single friends, set me up and party my woes away. While these might have been well-meaning acts of support, they were not productive ways of coping for me. My behaviors led me to a dysfunctional rebound relationship, empty sex, drunken sex, quite a bit of guilty self-loathing and a vicious up and down cycle of convincing myself I was fine and the next day, not being able to get out of bed.

IT’S RAINING CATS AND DOGS AND ... SEX?!

Does your pet stay in the room when you get down and dirty?

Janine

This one stumped the folks at Yahoo Answers.

Pets and sex are admittedly two of my favorite subjects…when discussed separately, with a nice thick wall of “You shall not pass!” between them, that is. Put them together and things start to get a little freaky.

No, this isn’t a crappy segue into some kitty-on-kitty action or the great spay and neuter debate that inevitably pops up when sex and pets are discussed on Dogster or Catster, the sites I edit by day. The burning questions on my mind are as follows: When you and your partner get horizontal, do you lock Fluffy and Fido out of the room? Do they become silent witnesses to The Deed (TM) as it is done or not-so-silent spectators?

I walked into this conversation for the first time a few years ago when I was sad and dog-less, and a gay friend was telling me how he could NOT get his newly-adopted pup to stop barking up a storm whenever he brought a foxy bear home from the bar for fun and games. His dog clearly thought he was being manhandled a little roughly -- but how does one explain to one’s dog that this is EXACTLY how you like it? It’s probably not the time to bring in the Dog Whisperer. (Wait, I take it back, I would totally watch that episode.)

DO YOU PAY FOR PORN?

Every part of my sexual life philosophy until this point has hinged on one fundamental belief: that as a woman, getting laid will always be super easy, which means I shouldn't have to spend any time, effort or money making it happen.

Emily

So, the other day I was FINALLY trying out this Minna Ola vibe sent to me by Babeland approximately a million years ago. I know it sounds crazy, but it's hard to find the time to masturbate when you're a busy career woman who DVRs at least 10 shows.

Anyway, I was holding this purple squeezey-dobber against my clit, mentally twiddling my thumbs, when it occured to me that maybe I would have more success with vibrators if I wasn't relying on a decades-old mash-up of random sexual encounters played on a skittering loop.

Suddenly, I remembered that porn exists!

LET'S TALK ABOUT MAKE-UP SEX

Ronnie Spector once sang that "The best part of breakin' up / is when we're makin' up," but Ronnie Spector was also married to a guy who used to show her the golden coffin he had custom made for her if she ever tried to leave him.

Julieanne

This was hot. But was it... DANGEROUS?

Today, I read a study about how bad it is to have make-up sex, and I wasn't quite sure whether my intial "Oh, Jesus pleasus" reaction was 100% merited.

I thought perhaps we could discuss it together, and we can suss out how we feel about it as a huge, sexy family. You know, like one of those weird 1970s cults that Joaquin Phoenix's parents made him join.

Nun Leaves Catholicism

A Roman Catholic nun who has been working in Africa recently made contact with a woman in Atlanta, Georgia. The woman gave the CARM website to the nun to check out the articles written on Catholicism. 

As a result of her examining her church and comparing it to Scripture, she now knows that Roman Catholicism is not true. She has trusted in Christ as her Savior! Please pray for her because she is in the long process of leaving Catholicism. We will give more details on this later.

As a side note, some of you may not know what Roman Catholicism teaches regarding salvation. Consider this. "...the mission of teaching all peoples, and of preaching the Gospel to every creature, so that all men may attain salvation through faith, Baptism and the observance of the Commandments." 

When You Don’t Know What To Do

Written by Gail Rodgers

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.” (Colossians 3:12-15)

Life is not always easy. Everyday letters come to this website from those of you walking through complex, confusing, and even tragic things that have unexpectedly imposed themselves on lives with little or no warning. If you find yourself arising to a day that is in turmoil, consider getting dressed for your day according to scripture.

7 Ways To Be ‘More Like Jesus’ Online

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I have been amazed at what people who love Jesus can write about other people who love Jesus online. I am referring to comments that believers leave on blogs and Facebook postings. Not long ago, I responded kindly to someone who attacked something I wrote. I think his first word regarding my blog was “NONSENSE!”

When he saw my response, he quickly wrote back an apology saying, “I didn’t realize you would read my comment.” Of course, a blogger with respect for his readers doesn’t just write and disappear but reads responses and responds back. That is the difference between a blog and a magazine article.

We live in new world where people can respond instantly to blogs or Facebook postings—often without realizing that “reckless words pierce like a sword.” We of all people should have our words seasoned with love, even when we disagree.