This past December, an Iowa court ruled that dentist James Knight was legally entitled to fire a member of his staff because he found her attractive. He was worried that down the road the relationship might move in a direction that would harm both his and her marriages. His wife encouraged the move after discovering that the employee wore ‘distracting’ clothing and that platonic, though personal, emails had been exchanged outside of work.
Not surprisingly, while unable to attack the legal basis for termination, the court of public opinion erupted in outrage. Reviews on Yelp began to slam the dentist and the general tone was that even if legal, Dr. Knight’s actions were wrong. As one columnist put it, “How fundamentally unfair that, when guys prove incapable of regulating their urges, women get fired.” This would be exactly right if we were talking about robots instead of human beings.Truthfully, I have no idea how people actually felt about Dr. Knight’s case. It would be a mistake to assume that the angry and vituperative represent a majority opinion. Nevertheless, there was a disturbing backlash against the dentist.
In my opinion, Dr. Knight made certain mistakes, most of all not keeping the relationship on a formal, professional level. In today’s unceremonious office environment that is difficult, but he certainly should have drawn greater boundary lines. However, in firing his employee, specifically because of concern for the sanctity of marriage, the dentist was not breaking new ground. Any number of plots of old TV shows or movies revolved around a wife’s insistence that her husband’s secretary be an older or plain woman. Was that an old-fashioned, ridiculous idea? Or, as the number of office affairs taking place today would suggest, was it a valid concern? Perhaps the only updating that needs to happen is that not only women, but also men, need to be concerned about whom their spouses are meeting at work. Even the current and popular TV show, Parenthood, had a plot line a few seasons ago, which revolved around the damage caused by the completely credible, spontaneous interaction between a young, attractive woman and her older, happily married boss. This show, which is frequently referred to as true to life and believable, unleashed a viewer response to this episode that showed understanding and empathy for the wife’s reaction – (paraphrased) “You fired her, of course”.
Is it possible that some of the vitriol directed at Dr. Knight was because he consulted with his pastor on the firing decision? For many people today, a psychiatrist, therapist or coffee barista are appropriate to turn to for advice, while accepting religious guidance is creepy. From where I’m sitting, he made the only possible decision. Any husband and wife who don’t address temptation and danger in the workplace have their heads in the sand. Wise couples set certain behavioral parameters such as not having any non-business or out of the office communication with someone of the opposite sex unless their spouse participates as well. They could follow the advice of ancient Jewish wisdom and refuse any physical contact as well – even a platonic, sympathetic hug or a hand on the shoulder. All females whether homemaker or working outside the home, attractive or average looking, need to accept that their choices in dress will elicit reactions from males. This isn’t a male “weakness” any more than monthly hormonal shifts are a female “weakness.” It is reality. While some may enjoy fantasizing about men losing all their unique masculine tendencies (though many of us would view that with horror) it is no more realistic than insisting that if we only try hard enough humans should be able to tap our heels three times and be transported home.
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